WestCoastQT Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 I just turned 24 and recently graduated from college. I had plans on moving out of state for grad school within a year after graduation. I graduated in May. In August I met a guy through a mutual friend who was visiting from out of town. Fast forward, when he left we kept communicating until he made another visit a few months later. By then we declared deep feelings for each other. It's now been half a year and there's a strong possibility he could move here to continue his education as well. Meanwhile, I'd already wrapped my mind around the idea of leaving the city. I'm beyond ready to experience my youth in a different environment, but at the same time I see this guy as a potential husband and building that foundation is something that's important to me as well. I personally would like to get married by age 30 and seeing as I've had absolutely horrible luck with dating literally all my life, I don't want to take a chance on losing him. BUT I want to get my next degree and I don't like anything about living here. I feel that maybe I should stick it out for another year to see if the relationship works out, but I will be livid if I put my plans on hold for a man and it doesn't work out or if I get comfortable and don't go back to school. Then that's a year down the drain and another heartbreak to go along with the last one that traumatized me, that I'm just now getting over from 2 years ago. I'm embarrassed to tell my family that I'm thinking about staying another year to be with someone who I've been dating long distance. I want to go and still continue to talk to him long distance until we both finish school, but he doesn't think it will work out. And part of the reason he wants to move here is because of me. I don't want to lose him but I already had a plan before we met. Link to post Share on other sites
czen Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 From my personal experience, it is always the best choice to choose the one thing that will always be there in your life no matter what: yourself. Like you said, there is no guarantee that this will work out. You can't take the risk. Besides, I'm pretty sure a part of you will regret not going even though it works out. If it ends between you two when you go, then so be it. You'll find someone else. I can understand the feeling of "I've had so many bad experiences...maybe this is my last shot because it finally is going well?" since I've been there too. But it never is your last shot. So talk to him about it and make sure to tell him it has nothing to do with him, it's just that you want to follow your own dreams and make the most of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Why can't he move to where you are moving? You could grow closer exploring a new place together. Link to post Share on other sites
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