To pursue or not to pursue?

[aaiyo1923]

I play online poker a good bit, not addicted, but I'm a pretty good player. Anywho, one of my poker buddies and I started playing one-on-one about a month or so ago. He's in Cali and I'm in SC, I'm 28 and he's 23.... Well we chat between hands, like the app notifies us when someone has made a move in the game or left a message on chat. He and I have been messaging back and forth the whole time. He's very intriguing, very down to earth and seemingly interesting. I like that he's intelligent to be so much my junior, and the conversations aren't anything sexual, which I like because that's a problem I run into with people online. He's supposed to be going into the Navy soon, I think around July unless they can get him in there earlier, and he's said that he would like to stay in touch throughout his training and whatnot. That he'll be in Pensacola, FL after basics in Illinois. Well he's supposed to be in FL at least 2 years for the schooling and since he'd be on the east coast, we talked about maybe linking up sometime and actually getting to meet, to hang out. My thing is this: how in the heck are we going to be able to stay in touch all that time? Like we chat when we play poker, but we're not FB friends nor have we exchanged emails or phonenumbers. He's never asked me anything personal, never asked for my number, so I'm wondering if he really does want to keep in touch or if his chatting with me is just something to do to pass the time until he leaves. He's said that he finds me interesting, that he thinks I'm pretty hot. And we have great conversations, but I feel that if he wants to stay in touch, then maybe we should actually try chatting outside of the poker sessions. Like how can we get to know each other if we only chat here and there? I don't want to seem too forward and flat out give him my number, but he hasn't made the effort to give me his either. So overall, I'm wondering if I should pursue the friendship and see where it goes, or if I should just fall back and let the chips fall where they may? I hate one-sided friendships and as much as I do like him and enjoy our conversations, I have this weird feeling that I may be investing more into the friendship than what he may actually want or not want from me. It's a scary feeling, for sure. I don't want to just up and stop chatting with him for no reason, but at the same time, I don't want to develop anything with feelings for someone so far away right now who may not reciprocate those feelings. Smh....any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks yall!

[justwhoiam]

Based on what did he say you're pretty hot? You just exchanged messages through a poker chat... Is it a videochat?

 

Anyway, I agree with you. I wouldn't give out my number or anything. I would definitely want to know what is going through his mind, so I would ask him: "do you see me as a friend?" I would start from there. If he says yes, I would try to understand what kind of friend (virtual or real-life). If he has any interest in you as more than a friend, he should let you know somehow, otherwise he'll put himself in the friends zone. If it's the latter, then stop thinking of him romantically.