Ivette587 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Hello. Im new in the forum and searched all the posts i could not find anything. So, Im going to ask You, for Your opinion because I really dont know what to do.. so lets begin. i have wonderfull ldr and everything is more than perfect, we meet every three weeks have wonderfull two three days together and when hollydays time is there, we are together. But there is one issue. His parents. His father is a bit "himself" and i wasnt really often there,at his place..and when i was his father was okay.. but we talked today like yeah when summer comes we will be allthe time together and here comes the nightmare.. i have to be alone with his parents for the 8 hours or more through the day because he is working and im still in college...and than he told me that his father has episodes where his getting angry and yelling 20 minutes and then it all allright..that i should just ignore it.. but you know what. i dont think im ready for this. i have had such problems at home, and finally they are over and that im going to "blow up my summer" exposing myself to somebody who could hurt me or i dont know what.. i really dont know what to do..i told him okay then i wont come in the summer time, but that means that i could end my relationship.. ireally dont know what to do.. after nice hollidays with him i was sure that it is the person that i was searching all my life, but when i told him that with his parents he got insulted.. please help. thank you very much. what would you do on my place? LOVE. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Why not find a day job while you are there for the Summer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ivette587 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) because in the land where we live there is not really possible to find a job due to crisis , wrote him that i can not bare all this thing and he send me email back that if i can not accept his parents then i can not accept him ahh Edited January 18, 2013 by Ivette587 Link to post Share on other sites
Blebly Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 You say you love him and he's the one yet you can't accept something as small as his parents , hah , grow up. It's 1 of 2 choices here Either he's not the one and you're blatantly exagerating Or 2 , you're too spoiled Anyway since you've told him that and all , it's 90% already over anyway Might aswell make new summer plans. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 He's right. If this is your way to face difficulties in life and deal with issues, then it's probably better you break up now than later. Your boyfriend warned you that his father is quick-tempered and yells a lot. Avoid answering back when his father is like that. Maybe he will behave, knowing you're staying there. Proof if you never saw him like that while you were at his place. And don't take sides if anything happens between the parents. Just have your say only if you're asked about it. Your boyfriend could plan a vacation for his parents, for at least a week. He could talk to his mother and explain the situation. That way, you would have your quiet time with him and alone, which makes for some unforgettable vacation! While you're staying there with his parents, cook for him and yourself. You could cook for everyone, but just as a plus and not regularly. Only if they show appreciation and are interested in your cooking abilities. Keep his room tidy and look after yourself. Make plans on what to do during the day, so that you have the afternoon or the morning out every day. For the rest you can study at home, watch tv or help around the house. Things to do where he lives: going to museums, going to the local street market, window shopping, finding nice stuff to give him before you leave and some stuff to take home with you (your place not his parents'), visiting some recreational center where you can help out/assist children or older people, going to the local library... As you can see, you have plenty of options to be out on your own 2 or 3 hours a day at least. The rest of the time at home will fly. If you cook for him, in no time he'll be home for dinner. And then you have the nights with him. Enjoy the Summer! Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 there are plenty of dudes with parents tat dont get like that and that care for you 2 What kind of logic is that?? So if your father used to yell and talk loud to the TV, you wouldn't deserve to have a boyfriend because out there there's plenty of girls with better parents? WTH. I hope your future inlaws will match your expectations... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ivette587 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) Well first of all thank YOU all very much for your answers. I forgot to tell the really important thing and that is that his parents are already elder people around 60...and his father is disabled person..he does not go out, he is all the time at home watching TV doing nothing and his mother is also most of the time at home..thats why i was so worried. justwhoiam thank you for your wonderfull comment! it made me view a things from a better point.. hmm i dont really think that parent are small problem. parents should be our teachers, our souls who showed us a way how they found they peace in life.. and i would say that everything is fine, but his mother doesnt give him (he is keep telling me that) to move out due to bad financials... as i said i dont know that part of the story, its not mine to get him out of his own house.. well i didt break up, i wanted. i talked to my mother a lot and she told me that i could calm down and talk to him about this.. the idea of not beeing with him anymore is more than painful. ahh. LOVE TO YOU GUYS Edited January 18, 2013 by Ivette587 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Why exactly do you even have to be around his parents? Cant you find something else to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Blebly Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Well first of all thank YOU all very much for your answers. I forgot to tell the really important thing and that is that his parents are already elder people around 60...and his father is disabled person..he does not go out, he is all the time at home watching TV doing nothing and his mother is also most of the time at home..thats why i was so worried. justwhoiam thank you for your wonderfull comment! it made me view a things from a better point.. hmm i dont really think that parent are small problem. parents should be our teachers, our souls who showed us a way how they found they peace in life.. and i would say that everything is fine, but his mother doesnt give him (he is keep telling me that) to move out due to bad financials... as i said i dont know that part of the story, its not mine to get him out of his own house.. well i didt break up, i wanted. i talked to my mother a lot and she told me that i could calm down and talk to him about this.. the idea of not beeing with him anymore is more than painful. ahh. LOVE TO YOU GUYS Tell that to my dead since i teen dad and my alone drunk mom Ignore parents , keep your eye on the prize is what I can say. You must like HIM , not his parents. The real question is , is he worth it in your eyes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ivette587 Posted January 18, 2013 Author Share Posted January 18, 2013 because he still lives with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ivette587 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 we will see what will the time bring and I am optimistic about all this. my boyfriend was always protective to me and hope it will stay this way.. so what will the future bring - only god knows, until than we have to be in wonderfull present. thats all what i learned from this.. and for the parents..hmm i think that the parents who we have, makes us more better or worse person, depending on how we handle this... i know that even if his parents would be differend so would he. now im letting it all go, and thank you very much for your option! lot of love, blessing and peace Link to post Share on other sites
Mtlgrrl Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Hi I would recommend a definite plan before going to his home. Maybe not spend your day waiting for him, maybe going out or taking a walk. That would keep your from being around his parents all the time. It would be best if you could rent an appartment but you said money is tight right? Don't you know anyone who you could spend time with when he's away? You seem very positive though, take care of yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
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