Shineman Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 It's me again, but this time with a few more updates. I thought it would be wise to create another thread, since it's a following up of more drama between us. Here's the previous thread to see the story about us. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/365017-ldr-problem Here's what happen during the course of last week and this week. After setting down and forgive her for trying to meet up with another person (she said that she never love him, she was missing me too much that she replace Ivos as me, and assumed she was dating me over there in Florida). However, I understand her loneliness, forgive her for all the pain both of went through for the couple of weeks (both of us were crying really hard) and gave her another chance. Then, yesterday morning, around 3:00am, she confessed that both of them did more than that. When I went snap and rage couple weeks ago, that's she was mad at me for not understanding her point, and slept with Ivos, losing her virginity to him. Of course, I assumed that she must've have sex with him (As the guy only pay attention to her to get in her pants, and when he got what he wanted, he disappeared). She utterly regret it and try to fix everything. At the time, I wasn't showing any emotion, and flat out told her that the relationship was over, and she lost me for good. She was crying, begging me to give her another chance (was crying in a public bus) and was screaming, trying to get me to give her one last chance to prove to me that's she the girl I want to be with. I hung up after I said that it's over. After I thought about it, I called her again, and she answered (she was still in school). She was still crying, still trying to get me back. She even got one of her friends (whom told the details of our situation) to not "try to convince me" but try to find a way to work this out. After I talk to her friend, I basically told her that I needed more time to think about it, and I had to go to college in a bit(First day of college), and told her to calm down. After I came home from college, she called again, this time another friend (her gay friend, Julius, wanted to advise me to considered to give her another chance, because she was an emotional wreck with the thought of losing me). After he left the phone convo, she and I talked, and she utterly spilled her guts out. She was crying all day at school, miss her classes, her friends were willingly going to talk to me, to work things out between us, and she was even desperate enough to get the teachers, counselor, principal to talk to me (but couldn't as I was in college at the time). Yes, she was that desperate (her friends confirmed all of this), and too the point that she was literally hurting herself (she show me pics of her bruises and cuts on her legs), pulling out her hair, and her eyes were swollen due to the constant crying because the thought of losing me was tearing her apart, bit by bit. She screamed, to the point that I thought she was having a panic attack, just to get back with me, and beg, cry, and scream on the phone, she said she regret everything she did, and regret ever having sex with him. She wanted to make everything normal, back the way it suppose to be before Ivos came into the picture, and would go to insane lengths just to get me back. I decided to give her a chance, but I told her to cherish this final chance, and make it worth my time, because I don't like to be hurt again. But, I'll think keep on thinking, was this the right thing to do? Should I walk? Because the thought of her cheating on me, crushed me. The thought of her giving away her first time to some jackass who didn't even love her, crushed me even more (and the fact that she consent to it because she was mad at me for not getting her point, despite not getting my point either, utterly crushed me). I need advices, REALLY bad. Please, help me. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She lost her virginity to another guy when she was allegedly committed to you and you don't know what to do? Dump her. Fast. You are 19 years old, in college, and live in California. Go to he beach and find a girl who lives near you. There is no reason for you to stay with a cheater who lives thousands of miles away. Link to post Share on other sites
lukas Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Run as fast as you can! you deserve better! Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 really? she's going to get her PRINCIPAL and teachers to tell you that you should continue dating a proven cheater who lives a zillion miles away? really?! forget her, its pointless to be with her at this point. you will never be able to trust her again. (but seriously her principal was going to call you?) she is physically harming herself because SHE CHEATED and you rightfully dumped her? girl doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs medication and therapy. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 She cheated on you. Robbed you of a precious gift, and gave it to another punk: who will forever own a piece of her. Basically, saying you weren't worthy of that gift, by giving it away to a dog. She lives very far away. You can't trust her. She sets these people up, to do her begging. She dug her own hole. She hurts herself, to emotionally keep you under her thumb, forcing your choice or her "life.", She is nuts. A slut for what she did to you. Do not play her games. Get rid of this baggage. Fate has been decided. I admire your will to forgive, but be smart about it. She isn't right for you. Block her. Block all of those people, and do not worry about her. If you are worried, she will hurt herself, Report it to the police in her district, via internet or phone. But get away fast! Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 How is it even a question, whether you should take her back? Ditch her and go NC and STAY NC! Man, you're lucky that you are long distance! Long distance relationships really outperform other RS when it comes to ending it xD I mean... seriously, see the upside! Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Ok, my previous post is a bit emotional and doesn't really carry the information that led me to that conclusion. Maybe because it seems so effin obvious to me... - she cheated on you - she cheated on you for lowly reasons - she cheated on you acting on a whim - her need for physical contact is bigger than her need to be with you - her need for physical contact is bigger than her need to make you feel comfortable - she has no self control - she has emotional issues - she is manipulative - she draws her friends into your relationship (big red flag! do you want half of her family and friends be involved with your **** all the time?) - she tries to make you feel bad for leaving her (ignoring you have the best reasons to do so) - you are her emotional support. nothing more. - you will be hurt further Like another poster said, go date local girls and rid yourself of a lot of uncertainty and drama. I really hope you get the warning. Also like another poster said, you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shineman Posted January 24, 2013 Author Share Posted January 24, 2013 Indeed, I know I should have walk away and find another girl that will treat me with respect and never do anything like that to me. Though, the girl is really serious about getting back with me, and wanted to change herself in order to prove me wrong that she can change and that she wants to be my perfect girl. I decided to gave her a chance, but told her that I won't be waiting. Is that a good move? Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Indeed, I know I should have walk away and find another girl that will treat me with respect and never do anything like that to me. Though, the girl is really serious about getting back with me, and wanted to change herself in order to prove me wrong that she can change and that she wants to be my perfect girl. I decided to gave her a chance, but told her that I won't be waiting. Is that a good move? No that was a terrible move. now she knows she can cheat and you will take her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Astra5 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 BAD MOVE!!! Dont make yourself look like the pathethic and desperate one when its actually HER.... she is not worth ur time or your attention.. Seriously she is EASY.. and PATHETHIC.... and going that nuts and emotional over the phone and what not? How childish and desperate she sounds... GIVE HER THE BOOT!!! you obviously deserve better than her melodramatic, immature, pathethic, lowlife and hysterical BS!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts