gabss Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Please I need help, or words of advice, or... I just need someone to listen. I just started dating a guy who is 21 years old, I'm 27. I have never felt this way about anybody, which is heartbreaking because I so want this to work, I feel like it's him who i had been waiting for all my life! I want to be positive, because I am usually so negative about relationships. I don't look 27 AT ALL, I even look younger than him, but let's be honest... I'm a woman with a cruel biological clock, he's a guy with all the time in the world. I am so incredibly in love with this person, did I mention I live 2 hours away by plane? I come home twice every 4 months, and i stay for an entire month every 4 months. We are both in school since I had to backtrack and go back to school because up until I was 25 I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life. I am 2 years away from being finished and then I can come back home, but in the meantime what should I do? We are really in love, and I leave in a week, it has been so hard on both of us, just thinking of being apart. He's worried that he may not be able to give me what I deserve, because he is younger, and he thinks I want material things, but I don't, I want him. I really, really, really, really care about him, we have some of the same friends, he has older friends and I have some younger friends, we are really in similar places in life, except for well, I'm 27! please help... Link to post Share on other sites
Sanctionne Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 You should be excited and happy! you seem to have found the person you have been searching for.. Sure, he's 21 and you're 27. So what The only way I'd see a problem is if he was under the age of 18 yrs of age. Take it from me, don't let something this small and petty ruin your chance of happiness. I myself attract younger men. This should make you feel good about yourself. I know that it makes me feel good. Unfortunately for me I let the age difference get the best of me and lost the 1 and only person I every truly loved. As for him thinking that you want material things, things that he may not be able to give you right now. You may just have to have a serious conversation with him about it and reassure him as much as you can until he is ok with it. That is what I had to do and the issue just seemed to disappear over time. Another suggestion is to try and do activities that cost little or no money and do not buy him expensive gifts etc. It might make him feel bad that he can't do the same for you. He may just be 21, but men want to feel like they can take care of their woman. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Arabella Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Wow, this story is identical to mine a couple years ago. I was an adult (26) college student and I met a guy who was 20 years old at the time. We fell in love and started a relationship. Eventually moved in together and he proposed. It did not work out. After four months engaged, I ended it. Like you, I said that I didn't care that he couldn't provide me with physical things, and I really meant it. However, his mental maturity and ability to hold up his end of the relationship turned out to be sorely inadequate. He did not have enough relationship experience to know what a woman of my age expects from a man, and he became extremely clingy and needy. I became his world. I was his friend, family and lover, all rolled into one. Over time, I realized he knew nothing about life and I was going to have to teach him everything and hold his hand every step of the way. I had to teach him how to make love, load a dishwasher, remind him to take his medication, teach him how to write a resume, coach him in interviewing skills, take him shopping... I became his mother. I lost respect for him as a man and I stopped being able to see him in a romantic way. Despite this, I don't want to discourage you to pursue this relationship. I just want to give you pause, and make you think about it for a moment. What kind of guy is he? Is he very driven and resourceful? Does he have prior relationship experience? If so, you might be just fine. Just don't let love blind you to the point where you don't see the red flags and end up like I did. For whatever is worth... I still think if my ex and I had met a couple years later, we would've been a perfect match. Unfortunately, it was not the right time for us. Good luck... keep us updated! -A Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Depends on the guy. This story reminded me of a guy I worked with who was 21 and very successful, made lots of money in a difficult field and married a woman several years older than himself. At the time I figured he was too young and it wouldn't last but he proved me wrong. He was always more mature than others his age and knew what he wanted career wise from the time he was a child. Link to post Share on other sites
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