sark-4 Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 So I have been with my so for about five months. We currently live about 4 and half hours apart. We almost broke up because the relationship just got a bit boring. It was the ritual talking everyday that kind of made him and I stressed over calling each other cause we did not know what to say to eachother. We care for eachother deeply but I think because we moved so fast in the beginning (meaning calling and texting alot everyday) it kind of felt it was going down hill. I guess the honeymoon phase is over. We do want to close the distance but cant for a while. He wants to take things slow and I agree but its so hard taking it slow when we already have the distance. We agreed that we dont have to talk on the phone everyday. Every other day is good. The days we dont a text here and there during the day is good. We also agreed not to plan visits like we were cause it was causing stress financially. We usually met every two weeks, it was good but hurt our budget. So we thought going with the flow and budget would be better. So with all these new agreements I need to some ideas on how to spice it up. He says he would like a surprise once in a while. Like a nice picture or video. I agreed to that. I dont know how else to do to spice it up. He does not have a computer so games are out of the question. There is a small bit of a culture difference so talking about movies or books is out. What else can I do? Also what would be a time frame for taking it slow in a relationship? He wants to just let things flow and see where it leads but I am having a hard time with this. I know he loves me and has mentioned a future but how long do you give before you have to do something. I feel like its up in the air right now. I do have to say that he has altot on his plate and said he needs to take care of a few things for himself first before he can provide for me and my kids which I understand but I am also feeling like I am in limbo. Sometimes I want to pull back for fear of getting hurt but at the same time I know its not good to do that either. Any advice please??? Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 No computer -> impaired communication / interaction. Cultural differences so you can't even talk about movies? Financial stress -> fewer visits? How do you want to spice it up? Romantic things? Write him a love letter. Or make a surprise visit if you think that would be appreciated. But honestly, you're facing very harsh circumstances. You may want him to commit to a deadline from where on things aren't to be taken "slowly" anymore. And if he can't do that you should carefully examine whether this relationship gives you what you need. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sark-4 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you for the reply, I kinda know the odds are against us. We are trying to work the best we can at it. However I feel I am giving up, the distance is so hard. It really hurts that I would think of letting the relationship go. I have also had someone locally who has been interested and it has gotten me to think about things. It hurt cause I really do care for him but I am getting worn out already, other thing is I dont know how much he is into the relationship sense he seems content... Link to post Share on other sites
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