Does He Really Like Me- Meeting Soon? Scared...

[jessilm]

okay so i met this guy on another forum. We were both in this thread that was talking about diets that spike you blood pressure. I commented saying i was a diet that banned sugar and flour for a month and it was the best I'd ever felt. He'd replied saying...I don't understand, if it was the best you'd ever felt why did you stop? Then another member, a woman, jumped in and said that he was being insensitive and that people get addicted to junk food. I responded saying the diet was apart of a program that delt with eating disorders and that I struggled with bulimia. Maybe a day later or the same day i get a private message from him on the website saying that he was doing this special diet called the ketogenic diet, about how he had studied it and what his plans were and then he asked if i'd like to join him. The diet cut out flour and sugar and prevented blood sugar spikes so i liked that, also he seemed friendly, smart and to know what he was talking about and willing to help me so i said sure. We traded emails and started talking that night on gmail chat. He suggested we get to know eachother and asked to know the history of the person he was going to be doing this diet with and suggested he go first. So he told me about his life. He works for his dad's construction company but has no degree of his own but is incredibly smart. He is much older than me 30. And I'm worried about this. Should I be? I'm 22. Then I told him about my life and he said he admired my honesty. The next night we talked again about all sorts of things...good conversation and traded pictures. We were both attracted to eacthother. Here's where I start to complain. lol. We gmail chat on our phones everyday. Everyday he'll ask me what or how im doing or feeling and I the same for him. I problem was for a while it got kind of dry because all wed talk about was our diet and work out plan. I'd try to flirt a little bit but he wasn't having it. Then one day, I go without texting him because i was very busy and he emails me saying he was worried he was getting the silent treatment and hed like to hear from me so i know my contact means something to him. So that reassured me. Yesterday I asked for his number and he said he might not answer while hes out. Well i called and left a pretty lame message lol. and joked about it in a gmail chat text to him later asking if he got it but he said NOTHING about it. and i asked him again last night if he listened to it yet...no reply...ask him something else and i get an answer! so i dont know what's up with that. I skyped with him 3 times. the second time i was so quiet i was sure i made a fool of myself but i was tired and he was talking about science. lol. i just want to see him flirt with me. I used to guys persuing me that way. but i think he's just very intellectual. he's made me laugh. I can tell i can have fun with him. I just know im holding back too. so today, and this is not the first time, we talked about meeting. I live in north carolina and he lives in texas. so we figured wed drive half way. To be honest, and tell me if im being selfish, i would prefer he just drive all the way here being the man but that might be coming from my mom's voice inside my head. tell me what you think about that too. i live with my dad just me and him and my dad has told me he doesnt think i should not be having sex. Not that will happen...but what if it does? How should I ask my father about this trip? What are the right mature words to so he'll trust me? tips? advice? I want to meet this guy!

[veggirl]

It sounds pretty dangerous to drive all that way to meet someone in a strange city. Would you have separate hotel rooms etc? When you say you Skype, that is with a camera? Are you on each others FB etc? I would take it slowly.

 

As far as him liking you, who knows...he says he wants to meet so that's a good sign, do you try flirting with him and he doesn't reciprocate?

[meeji]

how long have you been talking to this guy. I dont know. It sounds a little strange to me. I met a guy online and after 5 months I was on a plane to his country. People told me not to go and that it wasn't safe and all that. The trip was a good one. I think you should talk to him again and see if he will come all the way to you. At least you will be in your comfort zone and you will be able to contact someone if something goes wrong. If you are having doubts about it, follow your gut. It seems like his signals are a little confusing.

[allenpo123]

Yes, it sounds a bit strange. He's 30 and youre 22. 30-year-old men obviously has more experience than you. I met my ex overseas halfway when I was 23 and he was 26. The trip was great but when I started thinking about it, I realized how lucky I was that he wasn't a jerk. All I'm saying is be SUPER careful. And try to insist on him coming to you. You two are in driving distance, it's not like you have to fly to another country, if he really wants to see you, he will make the time and effort. If you feel like you owe him, just buy him dinner or something, you have to stay safe. PLEASE stay safe.

[FitChick]

You need to talk more often on the phone to gauge mutual interest, things you have in common, what you want out of life, etc. If he lived nearby I'd say meet him sooner but not if you have to drive hundreds of miles.

 

I've flown thousands of miles to meet someone or have had them fly thousands of miles to meet me but that was only after at least two months of frequent communication to decide if we wanted to take the next step. Too expensive otherwise.

 

You have a built in excuse for the delay -- you want to lose the extra weight so you look really good when you meet because you will be more confident.

[justwhoiam]

He is much older than me 30. And I'm worried about this. Should I be? I'm 22.

I wouldn't define that as *much older*. Though your words are quite revealing, as you clearly have a problem with that.

 

I'd try to flirt a little bit but he wasn't having it.

It sounds like you're pretty impatient. Why are you trying to force things with him? Do you want someone to love you because they mean it or because you want it? The latter won't lead to a healthy relationship.

 

Then one day, I go without texting him because i was very busy and he emails me saying he was worried he was getting the silent treatment and hed like to hear from me so i know my contact means something to him. So that reassured me.

Reassured you about what? He's sympathizing with you, a friendship was born. Maybe it will develop to something more than that, but you shouldn't take it for granted.

 

Yesterday I asked for his number and he said he might not answer while hes out. Well i called and left a pretty lame message lol. and joked about it in a gmail chat text to him later asking if he got it but he said NOTHING about it. and i asked him again last night if he listened to it yet...no reply...ask him something else and i get an answer! so i dont know what's up with that. I skyped with him 3 times. the second time i was so quiet i was sure i made a fool of myself but i was tired and he was talking about science. lol.

You are quite immature for your age. Anyway, you don't know much about him. He could be married, separated, divorced. Who knows? When a man is reluctanct giving a phone number, you should read into it. He gave it to you anyway... but then didn't answer. He warned you about not answering whenever you expected it. You had all the signs to be very cautious. Still, you want it your way.

 

i just want to see him flirt with me.

You can want everything in the world, but the world might not be at your feet. Live with it.

 

i would prefer he just drive all the way here

Ask him.

 

my dad has told me he doesnt think i should not be having sex.

So let me get this straight, your father told you to have sex with him? You don't even know who this man is!

 

Not that will happen...but what if it does?

If it does it's because you wanted it and he wanted it too. You can do whatever you want, but remember that you could regret about it. Would you have sex with him just as a random experience? Because you are not having a relationship with him. And if you browse a bit around this forum, you'll find threads opened by brokenhearted girls who had sex with the guy they were talking to and he then started distancing himself, or no exclusive relationship followed, men going with prostitutes, anything. If you have sex with a man without knowing enough about him, not giving it enough time, etc., you need to consider all this.

 

How should I ask my father about this trip?

What exactly should you ask him? Money? Tell this guy to come and see you instead. Meet him in some safe place. Airport is fine. Then take public transport or a taxi. Don't bring him home. Have a drink with him, or lunch. If he stays for the night, you can drop him at the hotel, without going up to his room and then see him the next day. Don't hurry up things, because you sound really impatient.

 

What are the right mature words to so he'll trust me?

Your father? You can just tell him you'll meet a friend from Texas. That's all.