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New member? LDR problems


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This girl & I have been talking for quite some time now. We started off slow. I liked her at first, but didn't love her. After about 5 months of talking to her, I eventually fell for her. We've never met because I ended up moving to Cali & she lives in Texas. I'm supposed to be going back to Texas for good next month though.

 

Anyways, she still has feelings for her ex. I ended up getting too attached, needy, desperate, etc. So she started to lose interest. We argue A LOT now. She says I tend to bring up negative things & that makes her mad.

 

She's confusing though. At first she said she had a lot of feelings for me. Now she says she doesn't have feelings for me, but yet still tries to contact me? It seems like she's emotionally confused. We have eachother on social networks (facebook & twitter) & she said she might get a new boyfriend very soon. BUT YET SHE STILL TRIES TO CONTACT ME. Makes it seem like she's stringing me along & using me as a backup plan or friends with benefits for when I get to see her.

 

Any advice? Should I hold out until I see her, which is very soon or go no contact & give her space to make her realize what she wants. She says she doesn't like when I'm negative, but the truth is, I can't help it because she stresses me too much.

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I wouldn't be wasting my time planning to visit someone with flakey feelings, nor would I bother playing immature games to try and win them over. I'm assuming you are both quite young?

 

This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all, if you can even call it that imo.

 

P.S I might be going crazy but you sound and write like Wonder310 and the story is strikingly similar, I'm going to laugh if you made another account to make another thread to get more of the same advice. If not disregard this comment.

Edited by Carenth
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Wonder310? If we're in the same situation, I would like to talk to him because I honestly don't know what to do lol

 

But yeah, we are both pretty young but I love her or at least think I do. I have strong feelings for her, let's put it that way. You think things will get better when we finally see eachother?

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Probably not if you are ripping each other apart before even meeting for the first time. Meeting someone doesn't magically make things better, especially if there is animosity prior to the meeting.

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So what about no contact until I see her?
Good to grow hard feelings & doubts about you, which in turn will make her less *available* to you
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