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He's unhappy with me


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LittleDragon456

In a long distance relationship. We've been together for almost 3 months. Things have been going okay, until this week. We were skyping Sunday night and I didn't come on camera because I didn't have any makeup on. It was late, so I took it off before bed. He kept telling me to get on camera and I said no, it makes me uncomfortable, I have low self esteem. Things got quiet for a bit, and then he hung up. I thought he had connection problems or something, so I just let him be. He messaged me like an hour later saying he was upset with me because I didn't chase after him when he hung up.

 

I am a quiet, shy introvert, and I don't really like to talk much. It makes him mad when I don't talk much, but I don't really know what to say. I really do love him, and I tell him that all the time. I also compliment him a lot, and always tell him that I miss him. And that's saying a lot, considering the fact that I do not like to be open about my feelings.

 

I almost always have to start our conversations. I asked him why one time and he said because he likes to see if he is really worth anyone's time. We both have depression, and he has a lot of health problems, which causes his moodiness and depression.

 

I haven't really felt myself this week, it's been a tough week for both of us, so I didn't talk to him very much yesterday. He likes to game, I figured I'd leave him some space so he could play. I talked to him this morning and he was upset with me and saying that he doesn't feel cared about or anything. I kept telling him I did care about him and he said I never paid any attention to him. I told him that I figured he was up gaming, and his response was "Yeah I was gaming with a girl that actually enjoys my company and talks consistently"

 

That hurt me a lot. I instantly burst into tears after he said that over text. So I texted him back saying "Fine, go be with her. I enjoy your company but I guess I don't make you happy. So go be with her" He then was like "we're just friends. Nothing more. We we gaming and laughing for 7 hours straight. Why can't you be like her.."

 

He says he wants us to have a relationship where we can game together. He wanted that from the start. I like gaming too, just not the kind he's into. We kept arguing for a bit. We made up, but I saw he hid our relationship status on his facebook, and that kinda hurts me.

 

 

Anyways, I don't know what I should do. He wants me to be open with him, but I'm not an open person, and I've told him that. He's making things so difficult, it's crazy. I love him and I want this to work, but what do you think I should do? By the way, he is 21, and I am 17. I wish I could drive to see him but my parents would never approve.

 

Just skyped him, and all he did was joke around with that girl and his friends. I hung up.

Edited by LittleDragon456
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This guy sounds like a seriously insecure man child to be honest for his age. He is quite selfish and obviously lacks some form of empathy at least when it comes to you. Maybe your two personalities are a mismatch I don't know, myself I would fall into the introvert category as well. I need time alone sometimes, so does my partner we are very understanding of each others needs in this regard.

 

I like to play games as well from time to time to unwind, my partner doesn't we have other activities we do together which we have in common. I would never think of berating her for not having the same hobby/interest as me. Depression is not an excuse for being an ******* and that is exactly what he is making comments like this.

 

"Yeah I was gaming with a girl that actually enjoys my company and talks consistently"

 

and

 

"we're just friends. Nothing more. We we gaming and laughing for 7 hours straight. Why can't you be like her.."

 

If someone who was supposed to care about me said stuff like that to me I would be gone like the wind. You deserve better than this childish, selfish, immature boy. You may love him but he clearly doesn't love you and seems to resent you and wishes you were someone else. My advice would be to dump him and find someone who likes you for you, not trying to put you down and manipulate you into being someone you are not. I know you must be hurting right now and I'm sorry you are going through this but don't blame yourself, this guy doesn't know how to treat someone right.

Edited by Carenth
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Same old question: have you ever met up? Btw, I can't stand getting on cam myself... I did it right yesterday, no makeup either, but who cares, and then he said I looked uncomfortable (of course...) and kept saying I was cute. I still don't have a clue what he really means when he says I'm cute. I guess it's something between funny and nice? Well, if someone can shed a light on this, I would be really grateful. I perfectly know how cute a puppy is... but what about me? Still wondering... (I tried to ask him why he thought I'm cute and the answer was: you just are, so cute...)

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Same old question: have you ever met up? Btw, I can't stand getting on cam myself... I did it right yesterday, no makeup either, but who cares, and then he said I looked uncomfortable (of course...) and kept saying I was cute. I still don't have a clue what he really means when he says I'm cute. I guess it's something between funny and nice? Well, if someone can shed a light on this, I would be really grateful. I perfectly know how cute a puppy is... but what about me? Still wondering... (I tried to ask him why he thought I'm cute and the answer was: you just are, so cute...)

 

My partner and I rarely get on cam as it makes us both uncomfortable but we do it sometimes just so we can see each others faces again. I think she is cute and call her as such, she adamantly denies this as she thinks she is average looking but likes that I think of her that way.

 

It's a compliment (obviously) hard to put into words, I guess for me it means I find her appealing both in the way she looks (pretty) and her personality (kind and warm). Like for example I would never use the terms "hot" or "babe" as well I don't like those terms and feel they only speak of one part of her (physical).

 

That's probably the best I'm going to be able to give in what I feel the term cute means for me. Hope that makes any sense and is not just me rambling nonsense to myself. :p

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for me it means I find her appealing both in the way she looks (pretty) and her personality (kind and warm). Like for example I would never use the terms "hot" or "babe" as well I don't like those terms and feel they only speak of one part of her (physical).

 

That's probably the best I'm going to be able to give in what I feel the term cute means for me. Hope that makes any sense and is not just me rambling nonsense to myself. :p

This is very interesting! Thank you :)

It's weird though, that it would mean pretty... otherwise one would say "pretty". But honestly, he knows I would find that weird (as I'm not), so I guess he went with "cute" to include my ways or my personality... On cam he was just looking at me, I wasn't doing anything. And then I went off cam and wrote something that made me look funny, and again he said I was cute. That's why I associated it with the "funny" concept.

 

LittleDragon, should he say you're cute, you now know what he means! Anyway, I agree with Carenth, he said something really out of place with "Why can't you be like her". Maybe he was just frustrated with your non communicative ways and apparent apathy. Just tell him not to play games with you or you'll be gone. And the games I'm talking about are not the ones with joystick, wheel or scores...

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think your boyfriend has some pretty serious self esteem issues himself and he is basically projecting all that onto you. He wants to forcibly mold you into somebody you're not to make himself feel better and that is NOT okay. It is also extremely childish and self-centered of him to start boasting he is with other girls to make you jealous and disregard your difficulty with conversation. I'd honestly dump the guy...sometimes opposites attract but if there's no attempt to understand and be compassionate about the differences its not worth it and he seems to be super immature.

Edited by Aedra
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Same old question: have you ever met up? Btw, I can't stand getting on cam myself... I did it right yesterday, no makeup either, but who cares, and then he said I looked uncomfortable (of course...) and kept saying I was cute. I still don't have a clue what he really means when he says I'm cute. I guess it's something between funny and nice? Well, if someone can shed a light on this, I would be really grateful. I perfectly know how cute a puppy is... but what about me? Still wondering... (I tried to ask him why he thought I'm cute and the answer was: you just are, so cute...)

 

Cute | Define Cute at Dictionary.com

 

hth

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