surfer67 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I have a serious, exclusive thing with this guy. We are on our college break and we would typically talk or at least exchange a few texts a day. We havnt talked for three days now. Does he not miss me?? PS. I know he likes me and Im not a booty call. Dont tell me to talk to him first because I have been initiating it a lot before. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Boys don't see "not talking" as being bad. Sometimes I go a few days without talking to mine LD boyfriend. I initiate a lot too... He just doesn't need as much communication as me. I know he misses me, but if he doesn't have anything specific to say... then he doesn't message. He makes and effort for me sometimes and that's nice. different strokes for different folks. Try not to let it bother you, it's doesn't mean anything bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 (edited) Do you know if he has any plans at this time of year? it can be very hectic for people with making arrangements with family and friends, etc. Honestly if it bothers you a lot, you really need to talk to him about. Guys in general won't notice someone is wrong unless you actually talk to them about it. If you think giving him the silent treatment will make him suddenly change his ways, more often than not this will backfire because he still doesn't know why you are doing it, guys are not mind readers as much as some people would love us to be. If he loves you as you say he does then he should have no problem talking to you about this. If however this is how you resolve problems in a LDR by going silent well, that is not a very good outlook of the relationship is it? This could be all cleared up with a simple conversation, lose the attempted power games about who "initiated first" in a healthy relationship that shouldn't be an issue. I know I will probably get my head chewed off for even suggesting this but honestly in a LDR if you don't have open and honest communication you have nothing. Good luck. Edited December 20, 2012 by Carenth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Does he not miss me? I'm not a guy, so yes, I would think he's not missing you that much after all... And this grows your anticipation... Guys in general won't notice someone is wrong unless you actually talk to them about it. Why, oh why, they must find it written on the wall to see it... Anyway, no, I can't justify 3 days of complete no contact for laziness or for being busy "having fun" or whatever. I would justify that if he's in some third world country with no Internet, or on some mountain peak with no signal... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hrrm true, though I'm just going on the limited information from the OP's post she says they are in a serious, exclusive thing... I would assume they are past the silly games part and would be open to talking to each other about concerns and such. Maybe not so serious then... I don't know how long have you guys being together? If it's a short period of time and he's not contacting you then... that is not very good. Actually it's not very good regardless, I always tell my partner if communication is going to be limited for a period of time so she isn't left hanging wondering wtf is going on, she does the same for me. And yes some guys are freaking dense and it needs to be written on the wall. The amount of my friends who have come to me in the past and were like "My girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and I have no idea why" is pretty silly. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 how long has it been since you've seen each other? Have you only just gone on holidays? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 And yes some guys are freaking dense and it needs to be written on the wall. The amount of my friends who have come to me in the past and were like "My girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and I have no idea why" is pretty silly. Ha! This is something I will ask him today. Do you think you're dense? Hoping not to hurt his feelings while doing so. And well, I agree: how the heck you don't know why she went speechless? The 'silent treatment' is a definition invented by men for sure... I learned that most men think they've been given that 'treatment' as a punishment for their own misbehavior, they don't just understand it can be a way to cope with what happened and avoid the risk of being impulsive, if not the only reaction possible when talking about it will only lead to tears and she doesn't want to cry in front of you, making herself even more vulnerable. Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 (edited) Ha! This is something I will ask him today. Do you think you're dense? Hoping not to hurt his feelings while doing so. And well, I agree: how the heck you don't know why she went speechless? The 'silent treatment' is a definition invented by men for sure... I learned that most men think they've been given that 'treatment' as a punishment for their own misbehavior, they don't just understand it can be a way to cope with what happened and avoid the risk of being impulsive, if not the only reaction possible when talking about it will only lead to tears and she doesn't want to cry in front of you, making herself even more vulnerable. Yeah I understand this, it makes a lot of sense too me, I don't know if it's to with my personality type or whatever but in past relationships when we had fights and we were both clearly emotional, I would suggest a time out even if it just a day or two, for us both to calm down and collect our thoughts rather than having a emotional brawl fest and making some impulsive decision. I need time alone to digest things especially if it's something that is emotionally taxing. Though some of my friends don't understand this concept, you go silent on them and they will be like "**** she hates me, she ****ing hates me omg wtf do I do I need to know what she is thinking right now! Why isn't she talking to me the silence is driving me insane help!" they see it as a form of punishment and don't understand the purpose it serves. Edited December 20, 2012 by Carenth Link to post Share on other sites
Carenth Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Though that being said that doesn't seem to be the situation here, he has just dropped of the planet it seems. Link to post Share on other sites
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