What kind of action should i take?

[Laura64]

Hi folks,

I just found this forum and wanted to see if i can get some advise from all of you. I have been dating my bf who lives across the pond for 18 months. I even left my ex to get n this relationship (well there were other issues as well, but that should be another post) we made it happen by me visiting him twice a minth since my job allowed me to do so. But after while i felt like he wasnt doing his best to make the relationship work. I kinda saw a similar pattern in him as i saw in my ex, where not trying his best to make this relationship work, i suggested that maybe we should take a break, that cud help him focus on getting employed n moving out of his folks house. At first he refused then he finally agreed. Crying and telling me that he still loves me, he is not ready to break up but needs time to buckle down n focuse on getting a job.

I still love him very much and this huets a great deal and just realizes that i made a mistake by suggesting a break since i dont see how this cud work again. SO, My question is, should i just call him and let him know that i cant do breaks and break it off clean (at least this wud give me closure and help me move on) or just not contact him at all and take the nature takes his course.?? Ofcourse this leaves the opportunity that we might get back together. He had stateed that he understnads he is risking our relationship due to the break and ownt be fair to ask me to wait til he gets settled. I did promise that if we will utilmately end it, we'd do it face to face. I want to end this misery ans move on but at the same time i do kind of want to give him a chance to shape up to be fair. Which do u rcommend? I know that i should just move on and all but it is difficult. Also it doesnt help thathe told me that he loved me b4 we hung ip. Ugh. Help please.

[justwhoiam]

Anyway, you first made sure you could get what you wanted and then realized you couldn't care less... and now you want to get rid of him? He will be thankful for life...

 

i do kind of want to give him a chance to shape up to be fair.

Is that just pure formality? That sounds like you're stringing him along when you already made a decision. If you really want to give him a chance, keep your initial word. Edited December 18, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[umirano]

I am not sure this is really a question you should ask on a forum, because ultimately you alone know

 

 

• how much you love him still
  
• what kind of chance you want to give him
  
• how much hope you have that he will get a grip on his life
  

So I suggest you make the best of being on a break (I don't really believe in this concept myself, but anyways) and listen deep into yourself, and find out whether you see a future with him or not.

 

 

Good luck!

Edited December 18, 2012 by umirano
grammar