My LDR Predicament.

[DBoy91]

Hi everyone, I'm new to these forums. I was googling something related to LDR and this forum popped up and I could really do with some advice.

 

So about 3 months ago someone added me on Facebook. This person happened to be the most amazing woman I have ever met, we really connect, are into the same things, but she's in the States and I'm in the UK. She's 28 and I'm 21 and she has two kids (around 8-9 years). Now to me none of that matters, I would happily be a part of their lives. We were even planning setting up our own business together.

 

But the issue is my parents. I'm in my final year of University, and don't get me wrong I am going to graduate before I make any life long commitments. I just recently told my dad about everything and he wasn't exactly on the same page as me. I'm more worried about telling my mother (she doesn't know yet), my brother however (twin) is very happy for me.

 

I want to visit her for a week during half term to test the waters so I can see if its worth pursuing or not although I can't afford it. We've struggled a lot in this relationship but we still love each other so much. I know I want this to work, but I feel like I'm shackled by other people who are also close to me. I feel like I'm stuck. I don't care about having a successful career or anything like that. I just want to be happy and make her and the kids happy and make my passion my job.

 

I know my mother will disprove of it highly, especially as I come from a middle eastern/Muslim background (Although I am a strong agnostic).

 

I know I'm "young" and I have a lot to do still, but honestly I feel like I've met the right person. Unlike some people my age, I don't care about partying and sleeping around. I don't drink, I don't smoke or do drugs, I never have any intention of meeting someone of the opposite sex purely for "pleasure". I'm a simple person. But apparently wanting to have a simple life is far more complicated in today's society.

 

Could any of you offer any perspectives for me? I'm so confused, and I've been depressed about it for a while. My head says to end it but my heart says not to.

Edited December 17, 2012 by DBoy91

[justwhoiam]

I say OK for the visit. You need to meet her in person before anything. That said, three months is really nothing, though it might feel you've been knowing her forever. Take a step at a time.

 

Let her introduce you to her family, like parents, cousins, brothers or sisters... and her kids' father. Try to get the big picture of it, not just plain romantic you and her. You will only have yourself to think and judge, so consider all her sides, not just one or two.

 

And finally, don't underestimate the age difference, soon or later she will need a man. And you'll have to be that. I know this is something that might be difficult to understand or even to explain, but well, this is what I think.