Am I overreacting?

[amitooclingy]

Whenever I get upset or worried, I go all out and I freak out. I cry, I get sick, I don't sleep, etc. The reason I do this is when I first almost lost my boyfriend of almost a year. He lives in Canada, and I don't know what he's doing at any given time, so I don't know if he's okay or not.. and he doesn't tell me anything. He usually ignores me when I get like this and it only makes me worry more. He's put his Skype status to "away" and he hasn't spoken to me since this morning when all he said was "Just go to sleep." I really need to know how to get him to pay attention to me without seeming like a psycho. I can't help but feel nauseous and anxious at all times when he doesn't speak to me, so waiting just isn't an option.

 

Any advice would be great..

 

-EAP

[justwhoiam]

You said he had surgery. Is he on meds? Because they might make him dizzy or make him fall asleep... Or he's just lazy and careless. If it's the latter, I would disappear for a while and see what happens. After all you're sick & crying anyway, it won't be worse than that.

[AngrySpider]

I must say that I love your user name because I ask myself that same question sometimes:"Am I too clingy?"

 

I so happen to be a Canadian myself,by the way

 

I know what you're feeling.There are times when my long-distance girlfriend will go a day or so without speaking to me and I begin to think the worst.I begin to have those physical stress responses and it's awful.My girl has repeatedly told me that she is not the cheating type and yet my insecurities continue to gnaw away at me.Call it a bad combination of anxiety disorder and a relationship history rife with lies and cheating.

 

It is hard not knowing what the other person is doing.But there's always a chance that they could be telling you the truth.I'm learning that there's a fine line between showing that you care and being too needy.For me,it's a work in progress.You don't want to push the other person away by being too clingy but you also want to show them that you love them enough to be concerned at times when something isn't sitting well with you.I noticed that justwhoiam had spoken about your sweetheart having had surgery.If so,I would think that he might not be the same for a little while.He should be talking to you though and saying things.If he is ignoring you,well..that isn't cool because it's not helping you any.I guess it's just a wait and see.

[umirano]

Honestly, I don't buy the medication excuse. Most of those tranquilizers, painkillers wane off after 24 hrs max. And from a previous thread I gather that he isn't as attentive as he used to be.

 

Talk to him about it. Tell him you feel less important to him and it's hurting you. Don't cry, don't get upset, just let him know this in a calm manner. And ask him why you get less time with him.

[foreverM]

First off I feel your frustration especially since it sounds like you really care for him and only want the same in return. Some of us including myself like to show and feel that love in return. If you're not getting it or feel like your being ignored or if he wasn't like this before and was always receptive to you and responding back in the same manner then something might be amiss. Try and get a definate answer out of him if you can. If not then it might be a good idea to slowly step away and not torture yourself anymore. Life is too short to be miserable.