My girl is an online attention seeker.

[Psilocybin]

Hey guys. This seemed to be the place to get LDR help. I am new to relationships and just entered the first one that ever felt like its meant anything, and its the first time i've ever really been super into a girl. I'm only 18.

 

The girl is 1000 miles away ($370 roundtrip on a commercial airline, not bad!)

 

Anyway, we hit it off like crazy about 3 weeks ago. We skyped and cammed anywhere from 4-7 hours a night for 6 days straight. She was very visibly as crazy about me as I was about her. She took pictures of us and put it on FB. We fell asleep on skype together, poured our hearts into eachother, and we both had butterflies like crazy all the time. After a while, she asked if I'd visit, and we recently selected the date of December 23rd, so I'd be her christmas present Sweet idea, totally regretting the commitment now but I don't want to push it off as both of us would be really disappointed and im scared of the damage it might do to us.

 

Anyway, like a week ago she kind of drifted off. She barely talked to me, I would try and text her and she'd send "dead texts" back, like one or two word replies that don't carry conversation at all. Felt like I was doing all the work. Also worth mentioning shes a complete attention whore, its undeniable. She has 2000 facebook friends full of randoms, and she goes on stickam a lot. She puts up status updates like "Text me! I'm bored. 216-xxx-xxxx" (her number) And anyway, she just wasn't really keep in touch or being talkative at all. I confronted her and she made excuses. She said she is just more comfortable around me now, and trusts that we both have eachother on our minds all the time, and that she's been busy. I decided to let it slide and say to myself that shes just different and girls are complicated, and shes on the extra-complicated end of the spectrum. We then had an amazing 3 days of talking again. I felt great about our LDR again, and was pumped to buy the plane ticket. Then, last night, she hops on skype and we're talking. She is dye-ing her hair on cam. I tell her it looks great. Its not enough for her. She vanishes from the call and goes on stickam shuffle (it's like chatroullette for those who don't know). She hops on because she needs to hear from the whole damn internet that her hair looks good.

 

I know shes on stickam the whole night, as I viewed her profile and it said online. And I know she doesn't leave it online. I try to not get too paranoid about her chatting to strangers all night and ignoring me... and I message her on skype, "What're you up to?" and she replies, "Was sleeping. Just woke up!" Now she's lying about it too, and it just throws me way off. Then she logs off of stickam and is lying down. Then she sends a sweet text about how much she loves me, but at the same time, puts up an fb status saying "Text me while I fall asleep! 216-xxx-xxxx :)" so that the entire world can text her. That just doesn't click with me. I can't find a way to forgive it, to tell myself "Shes different and we aren't the same person". I just cant seem to not be incredibly bothered and offended by the fact that as I am trying to be her guy and talk with her, she is asking 2000 strangers to do the same.

 

What am I supposed to do? Theres a constant battle in my brain. Its either,

 

a) Should I trust that she only really loves me and just needs some attention from other guys? Should I just accept that as part of her, and deal with it? Learn how to keep it from bothering me? That is a lot of trust...

 

b) Should I be concerned about whether she's really into me as much as I am into her? Because she has been romantic less often, seems to enjoy talking to me less, and for me, I don't know. If I have her why would I seek out chatting with strange women all ****ing night? Not my preferred logic, thats for sure. For me I just want to enjoy her all the time!

 

When we have great nights where she talks and we have fun, I want to buy that plane ticket to go see her in 2 weeks, and I can rock option A all day. Then when I see status updates like that and incidents like the stickam thing, I just feel like ****, can't trust her, and am so confused. My mind runs in circles and I go crazy >.< But if I ever confront it it just turns into me being the clingy needy guy and her being like "chill out and trust me". I know girls need reassurance about things but this is just out of hand. I know girls who need about 8 people to tell them their shoes look great for them not to return them...

 

But I feel like its a different story when the girl has to ignore her boyfriend for the last 3 hours of the night, because she's busy chatting with strangers online. Then lying about it. I THINK that might be over the line? But I dunno. Chatting with friends while chatting me is one thing. But meeting tons of guys she doesn't know from the internet WHILE talking with me also? I think there is something wrong with that picture but I don't know what I am supposed to do. There has also been 2 occasions where I skyped her and she had a guy friend over.

 

Maybe instead of saying, "I shouldn't visit her until I am feeling perfect about us" isn't the right logic, and maybe I should go with the point of view, of visiting itself might actually FIX all this? Idk.

 

Any suggestions on what I should do / think about this girl? It's driving me insane.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Any input would be awesome from you guys!

[Nina Galileo]

Hi Psilocybin

 

Through thing you said,clearly you are the one who is trying to make this working and she is not.If she is really like that,like the whole thing you said...I'm so sorry my dear friend.She will not loves you like how you love her.

 

Think this my dear friend,if you love someone so much...would you even bother to spend your time meeting strangers while your heart is actually taken?It will be okay if you want to talk to strangers but doing things like her?That's too much.That will hurt your heart.

 

If she really loves you,she wouldn't do that.There's one way to know either she loves that much or not,stop finding her for few days.Ignore her.If she finds you back and mock,curse you...She doesn't loves you.If she finds back and tell you how sorry she is,she loves you.But if she doesn't find you at all,she's no longer yours.This is very risky but this is the only way.Either you want to confront to her by telling her to stop or not,it's your choice.

 

I don't want you to regret if you want to keep this unhealthy relationship.Someone like you deserve a girl who would do anything for you.

[Psilocybin]

Hi Psilocybin

 

Through thing you said,clearly you are the one who is trying to make this working and she is not.If she is really like that,like the whole thing you said...I'm so sorry my dear friend.She will not loves you like how you love her.

 

Think this my dear friend,if you love someone so much...would you even bother to spend your time meeting strangers while your heart is actually taken?It will be okay if you want to talk to strangers but doing things like her?That's too much.That will hurt your heart.

 

If she really loves you,she wouldn't do that.There's one way to know either she loves that much or not,stop finding her for few days.Ignore her.If she finds you back and mock,curse you...She doesn't loves you.If she finds back and tell you how sorry she is,she loves you.But if she doesn't find you at all,she's no longer yours.This is very risky but this is the only way.Either you want to confront to her by telling her to stop or not,it's your choice.

 

I don't want you to regret if you want to keep this unhealthy relationship.Someone like you deserve a girl who would do anything for you.

 

If she never loved me like I did her then this would be easier to let go of... but when we first met, that first week, we had some magical times. Falling asleep on cam talking to her, and we really shared some amazing feelings between one another. I know it was early on so some might say it didn't mean much. And I know some people are damn good actors and damn good liars, but that is crazy. There is no way she was acting, i just can't believe it. So the fact that she all of a sudden changed makes me believe there has to be some thing i can say, some thing i can do, or if i go visit her and do it properly, maybe i can bring her back and get her to change back into the person i am crazy for.

 

And i know i deserve better... Its hard. I have dated one person before. We got along well, and had a healthy relationship. But i felt NOTHING for her and left her quickly. There is one other girl in my life which I also didn't feel much for. Its so hard to let this go, be optimistic, and keep looking, when she makes me feel a way no other girl does. I am not saying shes the only one or that i believe in soulmates - I know there are other girls out there. But i don't know if I will have an easy time finding another one.

[justwhoiam]

shes a complete attention whore

Who would use such words for their own gf? Seriously? It's offensive. I understand she's a total attention seeker, but why are you accepting that? Speak out instead of repressing everything and then call her names.

 

last night, she hops on skype and we're talking. She is dye-ing her hair on cam. I tell her it looks great. Its not enough for her. She vanishes from the call and goes on stickam shuffle. She hops on because she needs to hear from the whole damn internet that her hair looks good.

And how would you expect anything could work with her? As a guy, how bad would you say it is for a woman to put her mobile # on the internet and say "call me!" or "text me!", advertising herself for we don't know what. For what reason should guys call her? Because we all know that most people calling & texting her will be guys. Maybe she's in good faith, but she needs to get attention from random people all the time. Was she a singer or wanting to be one, or having any other kind of artistic merit, I would understand. But here, you have a Paris Hilton in your hands. Is that what you want? Trust doesn't mean a thing here. It's not about trust, it's about respect. And don't think twice to let her know that your trip is canceled because she's too much of an attention seeker. She'll have to agree.

[Psilocybin]

And don't think twice to let her know that your trip is canceled because she's too much of an attention seeker. She'll have to agree.

 

Wish i knew how to do this or was confident that i'd be able to do this.

[justwhoiam]

Wish i knew how to do this or was confident that i'd be able to do this.

Maybe that's part of the problem. Even if you got her attention for a while, it didn't last, as she probably realized you have no backbone. That dropped your chances with her. And she has no idea she can lose you either. Because she probably won't, as you're willing to accept whatever comes your way.

[todreaminblue]

When in a relationship it isnt right to be chatting to other guys on the net......or spend time on the net talking to other guys when you should be spending time with the guy you are with......There was a time in my past relationship after i found out my ex boyfriend/fiancee had cheated on me i would find solace in talking to others online, it was a mistake and i didnt continue it on to actually physical meetings even though i was being cheated on....i felt guilt and i stopped all contact, my ex eventually left me for someone else....but it didnt come about by me cheating on him ....it finished the way it was destined to finish...i did develop an emotional bond with the guy i was chatting with......

 

 

so I know that even with the way i feel about relationships and i have a strong will, and standards....they were rocked......by conversing with guys while online.......i would avoid that behavior in any relationship i were to have now you cant ignore it....its a rapid slope to relationship endings....the girl you are with if she continues to chat to guys online your relationship will be tested...you are ldr....it will not last

 

 

do not ignore it do not just take it in your stride, she was attracted to you online, chances are, there are guys who will say the things she needs to hear or desires to hear.....and your relationship will fail......if she is an emotional responder it will fail.......i feel sorry for the guy that i was talking to on the net....i cant remember if i told him if i was in a relationship or not it was many years ago i do remember he wanted me to go to a concert ....garbage i think .....i never went......and he was extremely respectful of me....i showed a lack of that when i should have....a lack of respect for myself if anything, for him and even for my ex partner who cheated on me..........i am better than that....no excuses.....

 

 

your girlfriend is young, ldr relationships are hard yakka....i would consider her tie to you to be a very breakable one......if she hasnt broken it already....find a girl who is into you and just you........i wish you all the best.....deb

Edited December 7, 2012 by todreaminblue

[Psilocybin]

When in a relationship it isnt right to be chatting to other guys on the net......or spend time on the net talking to other guys when you should be spending time with the guy you are with......There was a time in my past relationship after i found out my ex boyfriend/fiancee had cheated on me i would find solace in talking to others online, it was a mistake and i didnt continue it on to actually physical meetings even though i was being cheated on....i felt guilt and i stopped all contact, my ex eventually left me for someone else....but it didnt come about by me cheating on him ....it finished the way it was destined to finish...i did develop an emotional bond with the guy i was chatting with......

 

 

so I know that even with the way i feel about relationships and i have a strong will, and standards....they were rocked......by conversing with guys while online.......i would avoid that behavior in any relationship i were to have now you cant ignore it....its a rapid slope to relationship endings....the girl you are with if she continues to chat to guys online your relationship will be tested...you are ldr....it will not last

 

 

do not ignore it do not just take it in your stride, she was attracted to you online, chances are, there are guys who will say the things she needs to hear or desires to hear.....and your relationship will fail......if she is an emotional responder it will fail.......i feel sorry for the guy that i was talking to on the net....i cant remember if i told him if i was in a relationship or not it was many years ago i do remember he wanted me to go to a concert ....garbage i think .....i never went......and he was extremely respectful of me....i showed a lack of that when i should have....a lack of respect for myself if anything, for him and even for my ex partner who cheated on me..........i am better than that....no excuses.....

 

 

your girlfriend is young, ldr relationships are hard yakka....i would consider her tie to you to be a very breakable one......if she hasnt broken it already....find a girl who is into you and just you........i wish you all the best.....deb

 

Well said.

 

Thanks for the advice guys... I'll probably come back for more.

 

 

To be honest I may still visit her. Surprisingly, my BRAIN is the one telling me I should still go visit. I have nothing else to do, and nothing else to spend money on. It would be AN experience and I would GAIN a lot of experience... I haven't really dated before and I think while the week visiting her may be tumultuous, and stressful, and possibly not end well, I feel like it might be, as dumb as the word is, worth "Yoloing" and going.

 

My christmas would probably otherwise be spent playing videogames and smoking certain plants. And the money I get for christmas would be spent buying videogames and buying certain plants.

 

I really don't have much going on (basically a failed gap year, I am applying for college for fall 2013) and so my brain says to just go for it, and then likely end things with her after the visit.

 

But my heart gets all sad that she isn't as into me (i don't think) and it makes me not want to go, as it won't be a TRULY amazing experience that it could've been.

[Psilocybin]

Well, its official. I'm headed to see her.

 

I think the faithfulness and chances of success in the longterm of this relationship are pretty crappy, but I think we'll probably have a great time for the most part when I go see her.

 

I have no better way to spend my money or time at the moment - not really many opportunities where I currently am, and im sure few will come up until I am out of this place and at a college.

 

Whether I continue things after going to see her depends on how much going to see her changes things.

 

But it will be a good experience nonetheless. In poker, you can calculate your odds, and fold if theres a low chance of something good happening. You can do this because the next hand isn't too far away...

 

can't really live life like that - it isn't constant opportunities one after another. I'm not religious and i don't believe in predestined fates but i feel like this was an opportunity or "inflection point" i shouldn't be passing up, regardless of how perfect it is or how unperfect it is.

[Shaun-Dro]

Hey guys. This seemed to be the place to get LDR help. I am new to relationships and just entered the first one that ever felt like its meant anything, and its the first time i've ever really been super into a girl. I'm only 18.

 

The girl is 1000 miles away ($370 roundtrip on a commercial airline, not bad!)

 

Anyway, we hit it off like crazy about 3 weeks ago. We skyped and cammed anywhere from 4-7 hours a night for 6 days straight. She was very visibly as crazy about me as I was about her. She took pictures of us and put it on FB. We fell asleep on skype together, poured our hearts into eachother, and we both had butterflies like crazy all the time. After a while, she asked if I'd visit, and we recently selected the date of December 23rd, so I'd be her christmas present Sweet idea, totally regretting the commitment now but I don't want to push it off as both of us would be really disappointed and im scared of the damage it might do to us.

 

Anyway, like a week ago she kind of drifted off. She barely talked to me, I would try and text her and she'd send "dead texts" back, like one or two word replies that don't carry conversation at all. Felt like I was doing all the work. Also worth mentioning shes a complete attention whore, its undeniable. She has 2000 facebook friends full of randoms, and she goes on stickam a lot. She puts up status updates like "Text me! I'm bored. 216-xxx-xxxx" (her number) And anyway, she just wasn't really keep in touch or being talkative at all. I confronted her and she made excuses. She said she is just more comfortable around me now, and trusts that we both have eachother on our minds all the time, and that she's been busy. I decided to let it slide and say to myself that shes just different and girls are complicated, and shes on the extra-complicated end of the spectrum. We then had an amazing 3 days of talking again. I felt great about our LDR again, and was pumped to buy the plane ticket. Then, last night, she hops on skype and we're talking. She is dye-ing her hair on cam. I tell her it looks great. Its not enough for her. She vanishes from the call and goes on stickam shuffle (it's like chatroullette for those who don't know). She hops on because she needs to hear from the whole damn internet that her hair looks good.

 

I know shes on stickam the whole night, as I viewed her profile and it said online. And I know she doesn't leave it online. I try to not get too paranoid about her chatting to strangers all night and ignoring me... and I message her on skype, "What're you up to?" and she replies, "Was sleeping. Just woke up!" Now she's lying about it too, and it just throws me way off. Then she logs off of stickam and is lying down. Then she sends a sweet text about how much she loves me, but at the same time, puts up an fb status saying "Text me while I fall asleep! 216-xxx-xxxx :)" so that the entire world can text her. That just doesn't click with me. I can't find a way to forgive it, to tell myself "Shes different and we aren't the same person". I just cant seem to not be incredibly bothered and offended by the fact that as I am trying to be her guy and talk with her, she is asking 2000 strangers to do the same.

 

What am I supposed to do? Theres a constant battle in my brain. Its either,

 

a) Should I trust that she only really loves me and just needs some attention from other guys? Should I just accept that as part of her, and deal with it? Learn how to keep it from bothering me? That is a lot of trust...

 

b) Should I be concerned about whether she's really into me as much as I am into her? Because she has been romantic less often, seems to enjoy talking to me less, and for me, I don't know. If I have her why would I seek out chatting with strange women all ****ing night? Not my preferred logic, thats for sure. For me I just want to enjoy her all the time!

 

When we have great nights where she talks and we have fun, I want to buy that plane ticket to go see her in 2 weeks, and I can rock option A all day. Then when I see status updates like that and incidents like the stickam thing, I just feel like ****, can't trust her, and am so confused. My mind runs in circles and I go crazy >.< But if I ever confront it it just turns into me being the clingy needy guy and her being like "chill out and trust me". I know girls need reassurance about things but this is just out of hand. I know girls who need about 8 people to tell them their shoes look great for them not to return them...

 

But I feel like its a different story when the girl has to ignore her boyfriend for the last 3 hours of the night, because she's busy chatting with strangers online. Then lying about it. I THINK that might be over the line? But I dunno. Chatting with friends while chatting me is one thing. But meeting tons of guys she doesn't know from the internet WHILE talking with me also? I think there is something wrong with that picture but I don't know what I am supposed to do. There has also been 2 occasions where I skyped her and she had a guy friend over.

 

Maybe instead of saying, "I shouldn't visit her until I am feeling perfect about us" isn't the right logic, and maybe I should go with the point of view, of visiting itself might actually FIX all this? Idk.

 

Any suggestions on what I should do / think about this girl? It's driving me insane.

 

 

Thanks for reading. Any input would be awesome from you guys!

 

You, my friend, is just getting started with learning about women. You've got a long, exasperating journey ahead of you. The best advice for you is to never again pour your heart out to a woman. Mark my words, no woman on the planet is worthy of that. Besides, it's unmanly.

[justwhoiam]

You know how your money would be best spent? Making someone happy (or more than someone). I doubt you'll make this girl happy, so your money will be wasted. But according to you, it'd be wasted anyway. You didn't even consider other options, because your money must give you something tangible in return.

[Psilocybin]

You know how your money would be best spent? Making someone happy (or more than someone). I doubt you'll make this girl happy, so your money will be wasted. But according to you, it'd be wasted anyway. You didn't even consider other options, because your money must give you something tangible in return.

 

Sorry to say im selfish enough that i'd rather go on this experience than give $350 to some poor african village.

 

And also, I am confused. If i am spending money on a ticket to go see someone... spend a week with them, have some (hopefully) fun experiences together and (hopefully) enjoy eachother, how is that really tangible? I might not know the definition well but i believe it means something material, perceivable by touch.

 

If i was going for the sake of having a vagina to enter my penis into, that would mean I just wanted something tangible in return.

 

I want experiences. If I can spend my money on those, that sounds good to me. I live in a town of 10,000 and spend a lot of my time around the house doing nothing. I cannot wait to get out of here and go to college. I'd rather not reveal where i live, but if I were to, and you got to walk a mile in my shoes, you'd realize there isn't a much better place to put my money in terms of me getting an experience and living some of life.

 

She wants me to visit more than I want to visit her, even if she isn't as into me as I am her. There is a much greater chance she will be made happy than I will. I think it will be a decent experience for both of us, though.

 

I like to make people happy, but I also like to be happy. I could spend my money on something tangible which would make someone happy... whether thats buying a spoiled 12 year old an xbox, or buying some ethiopian kid's family a well to get water from.

 

I'm spending money on a tangible plane ticket to go see someone - but once I'm there, I (not tangible...) am their christmas present. It is my mind and being that is going to hopefully make them happy or give them a nice week. Hopefully I will get the same in return. That sounds more real than spending christmas on drugs, clothes, or videogames, OR just giving my xmas money off to make someone else happy via something tangible that they need.

Edited December 10, 2012 by Psilocybin

[Myob12345]

So from your responses I can tell that you're conflicted. The stuff she does bothers you, but you like her so much you don't really want to hear that it won't work out. What you want to hear is that it's okay for you to be upset and to vent.

 

At least that's my take on it. But I can tell you this right now:

 

 

People. Don't. Change.

 

If she's an attention whore now, she'll be an attention whore later (though it may not be as visible as she grows older).

 

You have to ask yourself why she seeks this attention from random strangers online. Does she have low self esteem? Does she need constant validation from others? Is she able to communicate to you if her needs aren't being met, or does she just leave you hanging and get her needs met from other men?

 

You guys are young, so there's bound to be some level of immaturity, but ask yourself if you'd be able to deal with this type of person for the rest of your life? Especially if she writes you off and tells you that you're "needy and clingy" when you tell her about issues you have with her behavior? That doesn't strike me as the type of person who might change for the better.

[Psilocybin]

So from your responses I can tell that you're conflicted. The stuff she does bothers you, but you like her so much you don't really want to hear that it won't work out. What you want to hear is that it's okay for you to be upset and to vent.

 

At least that's my take on it. But I can tell you this right now:

 

 

People. Don't. Change.

 

If she's an attention whore now, she'll be an attention whore later (though it may not be as visible as she grows older).

 

You have to ask yourself why she seeks this attention from random strangers online. Does she have low self esteem? Does she need constant validation from others? Is she able to communicate to you if her needs aren't being met, or does she just leave you hanging and get her needs met from other men?

 

You guys are young, so there's bound to be some level of immaturity, but ask yourself if you'd be able to deal with this type of person for the rest of your life? Especially if she writes you off and tells you that you're "needy and clingy" when you tell her about issues you have with her behavior? That doesn't strike me as the type of person who might change for the better.

 

I don't think im supposed to be upset, or have much to vent about. I don't really think shes changing and I don't want to keep things going with her. Early on in this thread I was conflicted. For the past week, my conflict has only been relevant to "should i still visit her?" as for keeping things going, unless some magical **** happens while i'm there, i can say, at this point with plenty of confidence and comfort, that i will end things after returning home. But I don't think that means it isn't worth going and having a good week. Probably a dumb idea to spend an entire week there, but whatever.

 

The night following buying the tickets, i brought a lot of this up. Unfortunately, i brought it up through text and late in the night. She was there, but I told her she could just talk about it with me tomorrow, but that i still wanted to get it all of my chest in type at the time.

 

I basically told her she seems to be hooked on "newness". I don't know if its that she is scared of intimacy and deep relationships with people, or whether she just doesn't enjoy them, but that it wasn't working well.

 

She kind of avoided bringing it up and we just texted a bit the following day. After that, I was like, not a chance I am going to keep going if she just dodges these confrontations this blatantly. Honestly, i didn't really nag her too much about it because i just want to enjoy the week, now that i have a non-refundable plane ticket.

 

It isn't like shes going to talk to other dudes or go on chatroullette while I am there - If i am staying in her house, with her and around her in physical presence, I can say with confidence she'll be spending her time and attention with me for the week.

 

But yeah....

 

 

not a chance i'd keep things going after coming home.

[justwhoiam]

It isn't like shes going to talk to other dudes or go on chatroullette while I am there - If i am staying in her house, with her and around her in physical presence, I can say with confidence she'll be spending her time and attention with me for the week.

She won't let you follow her in the bathroom... you'll know when she's going in there with her cell phone.

[Psilocybin]

She won't let you follow her in the bathroom... you'll know when she's going in there with her cell phone.

 

1. she doesn't have a cell. probably for this very reason, lol.

 

 

2. Even if she was just an attention seeking nut that needed tons of attention, im pretty sure she'd rather get it from a guy physically than someone online. its just that isnt a constant option for her i guess.

[Carenth]

Can't help but think this is going to end badly. No idea why you are visiting someone that is so flakey about you, doesn't sound like fun at all. I would rather spend the money/time on someone who actually cares about me or something for myself.

[ana0pera]

I don't know what to tell you Psilocybin. Like everyone else has said, I don't think it's going to end well and I wouldn't spend my money going to see someone who blatantly shows such disregard for me. But it's your money so you have every right to do what you want with it. I just hope you don't look back on the experience with regret, but sometimes, we have to take risks and make a mistake or two.

[Psilocybin]

I don't know. It might end badly. But the fact that she still looks forward to my visiting, and acts like nothing is wrong besides being distant and quiet, makes me think that at least from her end, I will still have a good time when I visit her.

 

Like i said, i don't really think that someone would turn down physically hanging out with someone for someone on a computer screen. If i visit her, unless I ruin it for myself by feeling sad or wishing it was even more perfect, i think things will go well.

 

I will admit i don't really feel great having bought the plane ticket and spending my money on that. But i did.

 

If it is bad, its a mistake and I'll have learned. If there was another girl in my world right now or if i could put one into my world easily right now then I wouldn't be spending my money this way. I'm sure if anyone reads this bit they'll start writing a reply objecting me - but you don't really know my situation and are probably just assuming im a pessimistic teen. Maybe I am. But i don't really think so, anyway.

 

I think the time could be fun for both of us - It is hard for me to imagine enjoying my time with someone who isn't as into me and is so flakey, yeah. But in a perfect world, with an impressive control of emotions and impressive approach to life (neither of which I have all the time...) i think it could be good.

[Radu]

A while back there was a study published in an American Psychiatric magazine about a link between the nr of FB friends and narcissism.

 

For a regular person, 100 'friends' on FB is ok, how many true friends can you have.

At her level, she's either an upcoming celebrity or ... has issues.

 

I suspect that this relationship is more like in her head than in reality.

Break it off while you still can.

[coffeebean201]

You could be the kind of steady guy that is just what she needs to sort of settle down a bit.

 

But having said that - women like to talk, and this one is definitely a talker. Hopefully she picks a job that involves talking - because she evidently has people-skills.

 

Trying to overly control her is going to be a disaster. But being the strong guy who is clean and smells nice (soap smell, not cologne) and is a little busy with other stuff when he comes to visit her - could make a big impact on her.

 

She seems to have caught your interest. You are so quiet and steady. And she is quite outgoing.

 

The slightest thing can turn her off, so be respectful of her space when you are there.

 

If you do end up visiting her .... I hope you have a really good time.

[Psilocybin]

A while back there was a study published in an American Psychiatric magazine about a link between the nr of FB friends and narcissism.

 

For a regular person, 100 'friends' on FB is ok, how many true friends can you have.

At her level, she's either an upcoming celebrity or ... has issues.

 

I suspect that this relationship is more like in her head than in reality.

Break it off while you still can.

 

You bet im breaking it off once I come back from seeing her. Unless some crazy inspiring and mind-changing **** happens, that can get her to think straight.

 

And I totally believe that study, minus the fact that 100 fb friends sounds pretty far off from any gen y kid.

[Radu]

Found it :

Number of Facebook friends may tell if you are narcissist: study - Indian Express

 

PS: If she ends up releasing a sex tape of you two, be a nice guy and offer a torrent.

[Pink Princess]

i know some people really need attention from others (girls or guys) whether it's in real life (like at the bar) or on the net.

 

i for one don't see why girls (or guys) would really need attention from other people when they're getting it from their boy/girlfriends who they like or love.

 

when i first started talking to my boyfriend we were skyping every single day. since he was working overseas we didn't have much other choice. we were literally skyping everyday for 5+ hours easy. it was funny cause i'd never skyped anyone before

 

anyways... sorry to ramble, but what i mean is that i didn't need or even want attention from anyone else except him and we weren't even officially dating. i didn't even have any interest (or energy) in getting attention from anyone else.

 

something just doesn't seem quite.... right....

 

best of luck to you though!!

[Psilocybin]

i know some people really need attention from others (girls or guys) whether it's in real life (like at the bar) or on the net.

 

i for one don't see why girls (or guys) would really need attention from other people when they're getting it from their boy/girlfriends who they like or love.

 

when i first started talking to my boyfriend we were skyping every single day. since he was working overseas we didn't have much other choice. we were literally skyping everyday for 5+ hours easy. it was funny cause i'd never skyped anyone before

 

anyways... sorry to ramble, but what i mean is that i didn't need or even want attention from anyone else except him and we weren't even officially dating. i didn't even have any interest (or energy) in getting attention from anyone else.

 

something just doesn't seem quite.... right....

 

best of luck to you though!!

 

I completely agree, and am happy for you that BOTH of you have this feeling. I am (was) crazy about her and did not want to really do much else but talk to her. I DEFINITELY was not interested in meeting new people i didn't already know - just couldn't find the point in it. I had a girl and great friends.

 

Whatever - When she WANTS to talk and is in the mood / enjoying her time with me, things are great. Unfortunately this isn't as common as it should be, so i will probably end things after seeing her. But i confidently think that during the time I am visiting her we will both be pretty uplifted and have a fun time.