rbm Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Hi, I am the father of a 5-year old boy, Philip, and currently live in Norway. I am a Canadian expat, my wife is Norwegian and our son is both nationalities. My wife recently left me (for reasons I won't get into here) and took custody of our son. Even though I could have fought this decision, I chose not to for many reasons, the greatest being Philip's wellfare. After seeking advice from friends, family and professionals, I have decided to return to Canada. This means I will be leaving my son and will only be able to maintain an LDR-type relationship with him over that 8000 km distance. I plan on writing emails, regular post and telephoning as often as practical. The divorce was amicable and my ex-wife and I are friendly and on speaking terms, mostly for Philip's sake. She is in full agreement to allow Philip to visit me for short periods, maybe once a year. Alternatively, I may come to visit him. This is all so very new to me and I have concerns. What concerns me is how my relationship with Philip will go over time. Does anybody here maintain such a relationship with their children and can give me some advice/indicators as to what I may expect? What I'm thinking here is how will Philip most likely change over time. Will he idealize me making my image bigger than reality? Will he come to hate me for leaving? If he can eventually understand and accept the situation, will he and I have a chance at building a near-normal father-son relationship? I don't expect anyone to predict the future for me but there must be some experience out there to guide me. The professional I sought help with was unable to assist. I want to do "the right thing" but need a path to follow. Can some kind soul help me? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted March 21, 2004 Share Posted March 21, 2004 I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this. It helps that you are on friendly terms with the ex, and I think the relationship with your son will be quite healthy... as long as you carry through with your actions. Write him, call him, and visit if and when you can, him coming to visit you. I live a few states away from my ex, he hasn't seen my daughters in eight years. It is his choice .. and hence he has no relationship with them. I figure he missed out on knowing some great kids, but that is his deal. Your son is going to appreciate and love that you are there, even if it isn't on a daily basis or the "norm". Treasure what time you do have and make the most of it. Best wishes and I hope it works out well for you Link to post Share on other sites
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