He doesn't call me...why?

[fancypants]

Ah yes more drama. So I am in this long distance relationship, and I am really confused. A few weeks ago he called and said he could not afford to have a girlfriend and that he was to busy. Three days later he calls to say Hi. He called me a few days later to tell me that he was going to be coming home and would like to see me. We talked a few more times on the phone until the weekend. Then I saw him and we discussed the phone conversation from the week previous, and he said that he really liked me, and he would be having more free time coming up in the next few weeks. So we could see each other more...Yipe! So here is where I get confused. While he was home he stayed with his parents. Saturday night I got together with him and his sister. I had a great time. So after a few really nice kisses we made plans to get to gether for breakfast Sunday morning before he left to go back home. Well he never called me, so I went on with my morning and figured he was rushed to get home. Later on in the day I called and thanked him for the awesome evening, but he did not answer. So now it is Wednesday, and I sill have not heard from him. He is not a big talker when it comes to the phone, so I guess I am wondering if he really likes me or not. When we are together he is just so into me. And when we do talk on the phone it is the same way, but when he doesn’t call I get all depressed. He tells me his reason for not calling is that he waits for a good topic to talk about! So anyhow I guess I am wondering why guys have such a problem with calling? Is it that hard to just call and say hi how are you doing? Should I give him another call. He told me that I don’t call him enough, but when he doesn’t call me I feel like I am pestering him. So got some input?

[Velveteel]

Argh! This guy is just plain rude. He's yanking you around emotionally. Maybe he doesn't mean to, but any man who wants your attention and romantic interest is not going to blow off a breakfast date, then blow off your (very generous) later call thanking him for a nice evening. You could just as easily have called and complained. And you'd be justified.

 

Similarly, the "I don't have time-I do have time" line is all about him. Some days he thinks he can fit you into his busy life, and some days he doesn't. This guy isn't invested in having a relationship with you. Maybe you do have a great time together, but he's making almost no effort to continue seeing you.

 

I'd let him go. Who wants to wait around for someone whose interest is so lukewarm?

[End of my rope]

Kick him to the curb sister! Find someone who's worthy of your time. I was in a simular situation to yours once. Basically I was his back up. Finally after a year of him tugging me around and confusing me I saw the light. Don't let that happen to you. If he calls talk to him...AS A FRIEND. Go out with other people and let him know YOU don't care to be romantically attatched to someone who doesn't know if HE is able to be with you.

[fancypants]

Thank you so much for your input. I received a call yesterday from my guy. I hate it when i get a call from him, because i am like on cloud nine after I talk to him. I know I need to ditch the guy, but i have such a connection with this guy, and it just out right sucks! He works 2 jobs a day, so he works Mon-Fri 9am-11:30pm usually, and then he is out of town on the weekends. I know he does not have time, but i so badly want it to work out! But everytime I think about it I know I am kind of waisting my time with him. I think i will back away a little, and see what happens in the next few weeks.

 

Thanks againg to the both of you!

[WWDDFD]

Sounds almost exactly like what I'm going through... heh.

 

 

Good luck!

[fancypants]

Thanks WWDDFD. So you are in a similar situation. I need some advice! I know this guy likes me, and he has never given me any reason to make me think he did not like me. I am so frustrated. I am seriously attracted to this guy, and I don't know if I am just over reacting or what! So how are you dealing wth your situation if you don't mind me asking? I know guys have a written guide about calling, but I guess why can't they break the mold once in a while? Thanks again, and I hope to hear from you.

[WWDDFD]

Originally posted by fancypants

Thanks WWDDFD. So you are in a similar situation. I need some advice! I know this guy likes me, and he has never given me any reason to make me think he did not like me. I am so frustrated. I am seriously attracted to this guy, and I don't know if I am just over reacting or what! So how are you dealing wth your situation if you don't mind me asking? I know guys have a written guide about calling, but I guess why can't they break the mold once in a while? Thanks again, and I hope to hear from you.

 

 

I'm basically biding my time and hoping for the best. It's possible you're dealing with an emotionally damaged person, and you just want to take it easy.

 

 

Of course, open communication might help.

[voice from heaven]

I'm also feeling that nowadays... HOw do I deal with it... I just convinced myself that he is really busy and that he is always thinking of me though... That what matters is I know he cares... yes sometimes we girls would like to see some effort from them... but there are times when guys are really focused and they missed to call or write anything for their girl...just think that he is preparing for the future and his growth and if one day comes that the two of you will end up together you'll be stable in life... Just be positive... stay focused... Think of what you can do to amaze him someday and set aside those if's... ok..I hope I helped you...