lunat1ccc Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 (edited) Hi everyone, I met my girlfriend during training in the Army, and was with her for a few months before she got stationed in Germany. She will be there for 2 years, most likely including a deployment. Anyway, it's been a month since she's been in Germany. I was recently discharged and living in the States. She's in an infantry unit, so there are a lot of male soldiers and only a handful of females. My girlfriend hasn't given me any reason not to trust her and her roommate, whom I've known during training, tells me that my girlfriend isn't doing anything behind my back. My girlfriend is still relatively young at 19, and I'm 24, so there's the age gap and obvious different phases in life. So, here's the problem. After talking with my best friend, he recommends me I end the relationship because 1) many obstacles to overcome when she comes home ie. where's she going to live, what's she going to do, etc. 2) 2 years is a long time and a relationship requires constant physical contact 3) she's still young and searching for "herself". I get where he's going and logically, he is right. I also hate the feeling that her friends will know her better than I do, since they're around her all the time. I love her and really want to be with her, and I've discussed my confused state a few times with my girlfriend. She wants this relationship to work, but just frustrated that I confuse her every time I let her know how I feel at times. Other times, I just feel like taking it day by day and trying to make the relationship work because I feel it's worth pursuing. Also, since she is young, she still has the party mindset of drinking and clubbing with her buddies, who seem to influence her at times, so I let her know that I didn't like her partying every weekend. I made sure I let her know how I felt without being controlling. She understood and we compromised that she would cut it down. She's really willing to worth it out, but I just need some opinions/encouragement/etc. on what I should do. Oh, and I plan to visit her every 2-3 months; money really isn't an issue since I work at a gov. contracting job that pays decently. I'd really appreciate your insight. Thanks! Edited July 29, 2012 by lunat1ccc Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 To be honest....I dont see this working out given your ages. Its one of those things you can still keep in touch and then see what happens when she comes back stateside. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 To be honest, I'm not really sure why you think you should be telling her how much she should party when you are not even around - but that's another matter. I'd say don't let your insecurities or the - understandable - uncertainties rule your head. Just go along with it for a while, you will see her in a couple of months. When you see each other next, I have a feeling you will have a clearer understanding by then what the two of you want. If the distance gets too much, it will naturally fizzle out. Just try to allow it to take its natural course rather than force it one way or the other. That's coming from someone who also had a partner in the armed forces. Some aspects of it was difficult, others not so much. The reason why it didn't work out wasn't related to the Army. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lunat1ccc Posted August 1, 2012 Author Share Posted August 1, 2012 Hi, thanks for the replies. Emilia, I'm not sure on what you were saying about the partying aspect. I just told my girlfriend a few weeks ago that I didn't like her partying all the time and getting drunk with her battle buddies in clubs. She told me that she was sorry for disrespecting me and would cut down on it a lot. I am trying to just go along and see how it will turn out. I certainly wouldn't want to pressure her or anything. I know her roommate since she was in my company going through training, and tells me that my girlfriend is close to one of the male soldiers (it's an infantry unit, so mainly guys). She said it's nothing but that it could also be something. They hang out all the time, he cooks her dinner (including his roommate?), go to the gym together, mall, etc. She seems more busy now that she has someone to hang out with and she tells me that it's nothing more than just friendship. But why would her roommate say that it MIGHT be something? She told me not to worry since my girlfriend wasn't doing anything wrong. What's the best thing I can do here? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts