What do you talk about when you can't see each other?

[Phoenix]

My boyfriend and I live in different towns, close to 100 miles away from each other. We get to see each other about once a week, but mostly we can only talk on the phone. I'm not worried about our relationship in general, but I'm worried about our relationship when it comes to the phone. What can we talk about that we haven't talked about already? When we first started talking, we could spend up to eight hours on the phone and talked every day, but that's tapered off (expectedly, I'm sure) and now I don't know how to keep the conversations alive. The fact that we could talk like that is what made me love him, and I know the simpatico is still there, but I'm worried about the lack of direction for that simpatico. I'm sure this is a common problem with long distance relationships, and I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who has had to deal with a similar issue.

[dyermaker]

Still dealing with it.

 

Sometimes we play the question game, ask him a question, listen to his answer, answer the question you just asked, demand a reciprocal question from him. He'd have to be willing to play, but it's a rewarding game, especially if you feel such conversation is conducive to your feelings towards him.

[Phoenix]

Erm....yeeeeees that sounds like a good idea but my problem is that I can't come up with any questions to ask in the first place. I can't think of much we haven't talked about. Any suggestions on what I could ask? Are there unusual topics that can lead to fun conversations? It's always fine when we see each other, we seem to have things to talk about then. And when we don't, just being together is enough, we don't have to say a word, which is wonderful. But it's different over the phone and I still dunno what to DO about that.

[ingjerdj]

Maybe you just should talk less to eachother.... because then you would have something new to tell when you do call.

 

 

Me and my boyfriend spent 2 of 4 years apart, and it worked out quite well. We did face the problem you refer to a lot because we talked on the phone for ages....

 

but the weekends we visited eachother were really passionate.

 

Maybe you could tell eachother what you've been doing the past 1-2 days... or find something different to talk about like a common interest??

 

[Phoenix]

Um, okaaaaay, but I'll say again that there isn't a lot we haven't talked about. We've covered all the basics such as common interests, etc. Our big common interest involves actually seeing each other, and it gets old to whine about not being able to see each other. The other things we have in common really involve our worldview, and it's hard to talk about that much because we always just agree with each other, which I like, I mean, I love it, but it doesn't make for interesting conversation at the point we're at. It's great to share a worldview, but how do you talk about that? We also actually have fairly boring lives to talk about, so we run out of "what did you do today" pretty quick.

 

My problem is that I have exhausted the BASIC topics of conversation, here, so I need more than BASIC advice.

[CaterpillarGirl]

There is always something happening in the world that you can discuss - sports, wars, celebrities. Talk about those. Ask questions about each other's childhood or family. Talk about what you dreamt last night.

[tphillip]

Talk about your day: how it went, who pissed you off, the satisfaction you experienced when you accomplished something.

 

Or talk about current and local events. I grew up in Buffalo, NY and I love to hear about things that are happening there (Even though Buffalo may no longer exist as a city government in the near future )

 

Or if you're really comfortable with each other, start talking about more personal thing. There's a book titled, IIRC, "What to know about before you say I Do", and it has a lot of things you and your future spouse should talk about before you get married. While that particular subject may not be appropriate, the things it mentions throughout the book should give you ideas about what to talk about.

 

My brother and I talk weekly about nothing (The new antics he experiences in his job, video games, etc). If you have a connection with your SO finding things to talk about will not be hard. Honest.

[quankanne]

go to your local bookstore and browse through some of the books they've got. I've seen books on trivia (test your knowledge!) and on stuff like "50 things to ask your SO" both of which serve as great ice-breakers. It's really quite interesting to learn how much you DIDN'T know about someone close to you, or how their responses vary from how you thought they'd answer! Many of these books are big enough to slip in your pocket, and don't cost a whole darn lot.

 

when my husband worked for the railroad, we'd spend a lot of time playing catch up: what was going on in our city, how the family was, etc. One night he starts talking about someone being pregnant, and how she was "really sticking out." Turns out that we both happened to be tuned into the Weather Channel that night, and he was talking about one women on there, so our running joke from then on was "how much of Sharon Resultan's stomach is on-screen while she was off-camera" that day. Dumb, but it made us feel connected ...

[Arabess]

I used to have LOTS of LDR time. Here are some ideas.....

 

If you are online...start playing some online games together. Yahoo is good for that if you want just regular games. If you feel like goofing with some 'role games'....you can try that too. (You can fall in love all over again while his name is JUJU with a horn out of his head...LOL!)

 

Look at websites which are wierd or funny. Use your search engine and you guys can find all sorts of fun sites.

 

Rent the same movie. Get on your phones and watch it at the same time. Not QUITE the same as a date....but fun anyway!

 

Check out ALL the love sites. Take compatibiltiy tests.....read your horoscopes....play the 'love-o-meters'.....etc.

 

This doesn't HAVE to be an erotic story....haha! But start email stories...sending a paragraph or two back and forth each day adding to this big adventure somewhere in the cosmos you are having together. We even wrote letters back and forth from fictional characters we made up. I was Edna and he was BillyBob one week. We had a blast with it!!!!