Asthenia spikes Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 my girlfriend cheated on me when shes over at australia... she was drunk and all and were all over at other guy, she let this one guy had sex with her because she thought we were about to break, which i think is the case as well... we still love each other, she feeling guilty as well... i know all that from her, becuase she told me all... my world crumbles... i'm so sad... when i know that she did those stupid things, i didnt know how to react... i didnt know that if i should cry or be angry or what... i didnt yell at her or anything... coz i love her so muhc... i just talk to her... she said that she drinks is because shes really depressed, she have eciplisy and shes under medication... so that explain why shes depressed and because i left her, i'm now living in malaysia... because of family matters... seperation hurts... and i hate it... well my question is that what do i do to make myself feel balanced? we are still together, we are still doing our best to work out our relation, we still love each other deeply and that we are ganna meet up either at mid year or christmas, and what do i do so that she doesnt push me around with my feelings? because most of the time shes controling my feelings... i duno how to explain but its sumthing like that... i still want to be with her, even if she have cheated on me... i 4gived her... but also i'm scared that she might do it again... so what would the advice that you guys can give? Link to post Share on other sites
FixMeUpPleaze000 Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Dear Mr. Similar situations like these are most likely to occur when you are in a long-term relationship. I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend is currently suffering from a form of depression. If this is how your life goes at the moment, I can assure you that things will get better in the future, it is the choices you make that becomes what you are. The path you take is in your hands and that you are in control. The best way is to make it as positive as you can! I understand how you feel about your girlfriend, staying in touch as much as you can is probably the closest you can get since you two are both in two different countries at the moment. If you both really TRULY love each other then she will wait for you as much as you would wait for her, she will remain faithful and loyal to earn your trust, therefore you should do the same. If she says she won't cheat on you, means that she won't. If she mis-used your trust, you might get really angry and all work-out. What is the point of feeling and dealing with all this pain over and over again, especially when you are miles away from her?? Maybe she might agree with you that seeing other people is a more mutual agreement?? Have a break and see other people and when you see her next, if the feelings are still there you can try again then... Good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 I apologise on behalf of Australia Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asthenia spikes Posted January 31, 2004 Author Share Posted January 31, 2004 dont need to apologies.... i'm goin there myself anyway to meet my gf.... just tlel me wat to do... i'm seirously stressed out.... i trust her so much... i believe every thing she say... i just really hope that she mean wat she say... and that she arent messing wif me.... i'm just sick n tired... i'm actually sick... my liver is kinda stuffed it get stitches n stuff... ppl say its coz i'm depress n stuff... but i duno.... well i really do need some advise.... thkx 4 those that post on this... Link to post Share on other sites
ME... tiff Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 before i write anything, this is fully my own opinion, so dun get piss man. After reading ya thing, she cheated on you man, and i know you 2 still love each other heaps, but if i were you, i wouldn't want to keep this relationship going. Especially when u 2 are long distant relationship, that will just make things harder for both of you. my own experience... long distant never works. how can two people still love each other when they are not even together, seeing each other day by day. anyway.. that's all my advice. Do wat is best for yourself and your gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Joanna~ Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 um...for me~~my ex-bf and me were "long distance"b4~~~and no wonder~~long distance is a really big problem between 2 ppl~~~><~~althought u still loving her~~but its not gd that u cant always next to her~~this time~~she told u wat she did~~~but who can make sure~if she do it again~~she will tell u???~u never know that~~~~but wat u said~~u said u forgive her already~~~right??~so thats mean u really luv her a lots~~so just do wat u want~~~dun make yourself regret~~~but on my point~~~is not gd that u listen to so many ppl advice~~cox wat they think~~its not the same as u~~~if u listen to them~~u just feel confuse~~or will regret later~~anyway~~hope u can get it over soon~~>< Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asthenia spikes Posted January 31, 2004 Author Share Posted January 31, 2004 yea thkx... i'll take that.... umm yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 whatis with the ~~'s? Common use the space button or at least the enter button. Your posts are hard to read Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 If you're absolutely sure that you will forgive and forget about her infidelity, I guess the next step is to launch an effective communication where you both can agree to a certain expectations in your long distance relationship so that the both of you can have the same, if not the similar understanding and belonging towards this relationship. It's important that both of you can make a pact and practise it religiously so to avoid any misundertsandings in the future. For example, if the both of you start to argue or debate about anything over the phone, always end the conversation with a closure...whereby either one of you have got to initiate on saying I love you or giving kisses before you hang up so that the both of you know that even after the fight, your relationship is still in the same position. Avoid hanging up on each other after a fight. Always let your partner be informed with your activities or whearabouts before hand to avoid any suspicions going on between the both of you that may lead to hasty assumptions, impulsiveness, jumping into conclusions and making the wrong decisions. Basically, you must draw up a map where you both can follow in order for the both of you to reach the same destination using the same directions. Good luck!! Chelsea Acacia Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asthenia spikes Posted February 1, 2004 Author Share Posted February 1, 2004 hmm... i love her so much... i decided i'll stick to her no matter wat.... i'm in too deep wif her... i believe soon enough me n her will b living happily ever Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Originally posted by Asthenia spikes hmm... i love her so much... i decided i'll stick to her no matter wat.... i'm in too deep wif her... i believe soon enough me n her will b living happily ever Got your mind made up, eh? Still scared that she may cheat again? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asthenia spikes Posted February 2, 2004 Author Share Posted February 2, 2004 yes... that could b the case... but i'm going to trust her one more time... hope taht she wont fial me again... but i believe she'll take good care of this last chance.... i truly hope so... i'm too hurt... Link to post Share on other sites
mav_04 Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Buddy, here's a word to the wise: Don't continue with this relationship because a person who cheats is bound and determined to do it no matter who or what they hurt (and they don't care). ****, this girl is bold enough to stand up and tell you that she cheated on you, and I would've turned away from her as soon as she had bombed me with that horrible news. You really need to find a woman who respects you and your feelings, and you don't need some insensitive, selfish broad who obviously doesn't care about you. From what I can gather, she doesn't respect the relationship (most of all, she doesn't respect YOU! YES, SHE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU!) and she also has a real self-esteem problem to boot (it's true that some people with low self-esteem will cheat). Plus, she's also proven to you that her word will never have any credibility whatsoever. Trust me, you really need to lower the boom on her and move on to somebody who will love and respect you and the relationship. This girl sounds like a really insensitive and selfish bitch who doesn't give a damn about anyone else but herself. Face it man, she doesn't respect you and she never will. Even worse, she already sees you as a doormat and that's not going to change anytime soon. Plus, it's very obvious that she has a real self-esteem problem and there's not a damn thing that you (or even a shrink along with some medicine) can do about that (very sad, but true and I know that from experience). I should know because I was with a woman who turned out to be a high-maintenance, depression-laden psychopath who had a self-esteem problem, and she was never happy no matter what anyone did for her. Remember: once a cheater, always a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asthenia spikes Posted February 17, 2004 Author Share Posted February 17, 2004 this is far most the best advice i ever gets, thkx buddy, well guess wat, she dumped me like month after that, n b4 valentines. she said that as far as she can tell its over, so fine, its hard to accept but i did any how, n i'm just too obsessive n possesive of her so i didnt let her go after she cheated on me. a friend of mine said to me that, all that cheatin thing shows that she doesnt care about this relationship already n that shes eager to let go of it. so yeap after couple of days of brain storm n depressing night wif my ciggys i finaly realise its time 4 me to move on aswell... to tell the truth i hate movin on, but now i hav to. i hate makin changes... n now is a big change. coz shes no long who my dearest person anymore... n my friend also points out that, its prob of my obsession wif her that turns her off... well too much of anything becomes poison, so yea... my bad as well... now i'm jsut ganna take sum rest... goin out wif friends n all... n concertrate on my study well atleast try.... n also stop dependin on otheres...(o yes thats right... i depen too much on others...) n now i'm ganna show her that i'm a stronger person n i dun need her as well, as she doesnt need me anymore. well once again, thank u all 4 ur advice, it makes me grow n learn Link to post Share on other sites
stvd Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 well... my gf cheated on me too... but like you said, one last chance... and never again... i know guys are stupid... i should just dumpe her and move on... but something stops me from doing that... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asthenia spikes Posted March 19, 2004 Author Share Posted March 19, 2004 lol, well instead of me dumpin her now, its her that dumped me, just 1 day b4 valentinesday, wat a shocka!! well life is like a **** up, either u **** up along or u die... obviously i dicided to **** up along lol.... i duno wat to do wif her now, she got a new bf, n i'm constantly being rejected, lol maybe i'm too desperate, i duno... life just gets better and better dont they? i still wanted to keep in touch wif my ex... theres just sumthing about her that i dun want to let go off... well thats stupid 4 wat my friends see... but its my ****ed up life so yea.... neway cheers 4 all the ppl that wrote on this board, hav a good life n take care Link to post Share on other sites
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