Im going crazy.. any advice will help!

[noahks]

Hey everyone.. I need some advice and hoping someone might beable to help me out..

 

I dated this girl for all of my senior year of high school. shes a year younger so she still has one more year. For the year I can honestly say I have never felt or experinced anything like this with any other girl. Durring the summer we broke up, and about two weeks before we broke up her parents told her they were going to send her to a prep school out of state because of issues at home. at this school shes not allowed to have ANY contact with anyone except her family. Well, I broke up with her two weeks before she left, and after she left i realized how bad of a mistake i made.. I tried to be with other women but it just felt so... wrong? Nothing could compare to any part physical or mental that i had with his girl. So shes gone for 6 months and i have been despritley trying to do anything to get a hold of her. I'm going insane at this part.. Anyways, she gets back for a one week break and calls me. She doesnt even know ive been trying to get a hold of her. she calls me and i tell her everything, and she still feels the same way too. So I even get to see her for one day, probably the best day ive had in those 6 long months.

 

So she left again, and now shes gone and we left it at were back togeather and ill wait for her to get back in another 6 months. However, Her parents hate me. I mean they really really are trying to do anything in their power to get rid of me. I know they cant take me away from her, but with their permission i would be allowed to write her and she would be allowed to write me. It seems so cruel of them that they would deny her of her own love for someone. Make her wait without any contact from one another until shes done. It just keeps making me more angry and more angry... They dont want any contact with me and refuse to speak with me even AFTER her daughter told them about our plans and how she feels..

 

Anyways since shes left I have changed 100%. I dont drink, smoke or even think about other women.. I work out for about 3 hours a day and am trying to get straight A's in college. I want to make myself perfect for her when she gets back. However.. how do i know she will still love me? how do i know this will work she gets back? also, I still go to partys with my friends and am always getting hit on by other girls.. I dont do anything but im just woundering if im wasting chances. I mean, i'm so young , i just turned 19. Im so scared that she wont love me when she returns.. and we cannot even speak one word to each other.

[moimeme]

You're 19. What will you 'waste' - six months? Really not a big sacrifice if you 'love' somebody that much.

[Reckless]

I want to make myself perfect for her when she gets back.

 

It's excellent that you are trying to improve yourself for this girl. However it would be even better if you understand the value of self improvement for YOU. Effecting changes for another person is fine but they rarely last. You stand to benefit if you learn not to abuse alcohol, look after your body and achieve the best grades you can - you'll have a brighter future if you keep these things up regardless of if your girl's feelings stay the same or change.

 

Your girlfriends parents love her and want the best for her; from what you have implied with your recent 'change of habits' it seems that you were not, in the past, that positive an influence on their daughter, so the steps taken seem entirely logical to me. They have chosen to protect her and you have to respect that. If you have really 'changed', you will in 6 months probably get the chance to try and prove yourself a better man.

 

If in 6 months her parents don't give you a second chance don't force her to defy them as it will do her no good in the end, she's probably under 18 and it will not only harm her to start sneaking around but will ensure you remain in her parents 'bad books' for all eternity.

 

 

Im so scared that she wont love me when she returns..

 

There are no guarantees in life or love. Your girl is probably very young and feelings do change, it's part of growing up. Allow her the chance to grow and mature and do the same yourself.

 

Girls don't stop 'hitting on you' because you're with someone; there will always be other attractive opportunities out there. If you're not ready to accept the 'lost chances' then you're not ready for a committed relationship. You're only 19 so maybe you'll need more time to commit yourself in that way but, if you've made a promise to wait for her for the six months then be a man and keep that promise you can both discuss what you'll both do when she gets back; you'll be stronger and know your own mind better by that time.