i don't feel like his g/f ... in ldr

[nicholes]

Hello, I'm new here but figured I'd go out on a limb and see if maybe I can get some 'assistance' w/my ldr. The guy I'm currently dating I went to high school with but we never hooked both I guess were afraid to approach each other to date but we always talked and we have a bunch of mutual friends. I liked him alot in hs but because of situations I dated another guy, got pregnant and had my son during our senior year...so we really didn't have a chance of dating. After graduating, we graduated in 2000, I hadn't talked to him or seen him or anything until about 3 weeks ago when he came w/a friend of ours to another friends wedding that I was a bridesmaid in. We talked he asked for my number so he could call. He was on leave for a couple of weeks, he is in the Coast Guard, stationed in Omaha, NE whereas I am 3 hrs away in central Iowa. After that night I figured that was the end of that we wouldn't have contact again. Well the next Friday night I went out with some people I work with and went to a bar and walked in and there he was...we exchanged hellos, talked alittle during the evening, exchanged glances when the thought that the other wouldn't notice...you know what I mean with those lol... and then about midnight I was heading out the door and he called my cell phone asked why i was leaving without saying goodbye and everything and met me outside so I could say goodbye and everything...we ended up talking and going back into the bar and I stayed with him until 2am when the bars close and he came back to my house(currently residing in the basement of my parents house...due to moving back to my hometown and no place to live yet hehe) and we talked and he went on to tell me that the last 3 yrs all he did was wonder about me and about how things would have been today if we would have gotten together in hs and about how much he liked me. I was very persistant I didn't want to date him because he was leaving for Florida Jan. 4th and I didn't want to do a ldr with that much distance even though it's only for a month. The next day he was heading back to Omaha he ended up staying at my place until 4am and then left and he came back over before he left that evening to tell my son bye and me aswell. He called that night and we talked again and he was very persistant about us dating so I agreed to it.

 

New Years Day I went to Omaha and spent the day and then that night there with him...It was very nice. We were both very comfortable with what happened(yes sex) and being together felt good as well. I left the next day and he left for Florida on the 4th and has been there ever since. Since hes' gone down there I have hardly talked to him..when I call he's too busy getting ready to go out on the town...and I understand we are both 21 and i don't blame him for not wanting to stay in. He calls me when he gets back home but hes usually drunk so we don't get a chance to talk much...the other nite he told me that he loved me and I didn't know how to respond back so I didn't. I do like him alot and care for him and I know I have feelings deeper than that for him but lately I don't feel like I'm his girlfriend. I've been pushed aside. I've been in another ldr that didn't go very far because of cheating..and I told him that and he told me not to worry...but I do. Everytime I mention something about goin out with friends he gets jealous because most of my friends are guys around here I have very few female friends and he doesn't like..I mention something to him about other girls and he gets defensive and upset.

 

Like I think I've repeated a few times now I do like this guy alot and I do like being with him but I don't know if it's the distance thats starting to make me feel like I"m not his girlfriend or what. I"m the happiest I've been in long time and I don't I would be this happy with anybody else...but I want to also feel like I'm important to him whereas I don't currently.

 

That was more like a ramble than anythign but it feels good to come off my chest...any thoughts suggestions comments would be appreciated.

 

THanks

nichole

[Yeti]

wow... kinda sounds like a friend of mine, except shes a little older.

 

aye, long distance relationships are hard for anyone. it's hard to have a relationship, when all you do is talk on the phone. also, all kind of thoughts start to run through your head, but they shouldn't... a relationship needs to be built on trust. if you constantly get unhealthy thoughts because of his character, don't even waste your time.

 

besides that fact... i know for it is hard to get into relationships when you have a child at a young age, but you need to also remember this too. being in a long distance relationship is havok on a child. whether it's the time the mother spends away visiting her other, or the traveling to and from is she so chooses to take the child with her. this i know from personal experience, something my mother still apologizes to me for today. 21 is so young still, and there are so many men out there looking for women.

 

i know you have feelings for him, but it may be time to bury that highschool crush. it will be better for both you and your child in the long run. believe me, there is a man out there that will love both you and your child.

 

- Yeti