Also a new member...

[Slapshot2286]

Well here's my story. I live in MO, and my girlfriend lives in England. I met her because she used to live here and we went to like elementary school and stuff and then I moved away in 6th grade and she moved away in 9th grade. I moved back here last year, and I just happened to run into her while she was visiting over spring break, and we hit it off. So we've been together for like 9 months. Our relationship is going good (my other post is kinda negligent now cuz things are better . We've had a recent disappointment though...at least I have.

 

We planned on going to college together since we met pretty much. I've always wanted to go to FSU, ever since I was a kid. Its been my dream...they have a film school that I applied to and everything. She applied there too, and we thought it was all good. But her mom decided its not a good idea for her to go there, because she'd be following me, and thinks that SLU (St. Louis University) would be a better place for her to study, and then she's "not choosing her boyfriend over her family"...which is complete crap. Its not about that to me... So here's the thing. I'm willing to go to college in SLU (and give up my lifetime dream of moving back to Florida and going to college with all my friends) and be with this girl, even though I hate St. Louis with a PASSION. Do you guys think this is a good choice? I don't want to go long distance for 4 years, even though our relationship is strong enough...I don't want to be away from her anymore. What do you guys think?

[cdn]

Is the program at SLU as good as the one at FSU? What will you be giving up -- not just now, but down the road in terms of careerm etc. -- if you make the switch?

 

I have to say that, overall, I don't think changing your plans is a good idea. If it's been your life dream to attend FSU and you have qualified to do so, then go for it. Your relationship with your gf is still quite new and the outcome is unclear. Perhaps your gf can transfer in a year or two. Or you can go the LDR route which, although difficult, is not impossible (my college roommate had a LDR with her bf, whose now her husband).

[lostforwords]

Hi slapshot and welcome!!!! Now I agree with cdn..... dont change your plans!!! trust me when i say one day you just may hold a grudge over it, human emotions have funny ways of lurking unnoticed and then one day BAM!! there it is. If it wqas your dream to attend what you want.... then follow that dream..... an LDR may not be that bad.

[cdn]

Sheesh - I just reread my post and you'd think I was an illiterate who could neither spell nor use language correctly. And this is before I've had any eggnog :-(

 

I think it's time to sign off for the next day or two.

 

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good-night!

[Slapshot2286]

Well, there is NO program at SLU for film. At the same time though, SLU is a MUCH better school than FSU for almost everything else. And I was gonna double major in business and film anyway....and SLU has a good program for business. I would (for now) be giving up my career in film, which I wasn't sure about anyway. If I get accepted to FSU's film school...then I might have to go there and do the LDR....but if not, its not that big a deal to me. I know that our LDR is really hard now, and I'm almost ready to do anything-even giving up my dream college-to end the pain of long distance....

[moimeme]

Is it the college that's the dream or the career? Do what's best for your long-term career goals. You won't regret it.

[AllyKat]

Oh please dont change your dream for a girl! So many times people put their dreams on the back burner only to get burned in the end! You can follow someone like that. I think in the end you will regret it...plus you might begin to resent her.

Meaning, what if things dont go as well as youd like? Youre so young, dont do that to yourself.

 

If you have survived such a long distance romance this long, then it wont matter putting off a little longer. (being together) If its meant to be, it will be.

 

Just dont sacrifice your dreams, when you are older, you may regret it!

[Slapshot2286]

Well here's an update on the whole situation. As of now, we may also be going to California for college. We have both applied at USC, which has a film school, so that's good. The only thing I'm loathing is staying in St. Louis. Any other way, I can have her, AND my dream career. I don't want to give up my dream for a girl, but I also don't want to be apart from her anymore. I think that in some ways it strengthens us, and in some ways it weakens us...but when we're together, everything we do strengthens us. So I want it to work out that way. I just get like jealous sometimes when I can't be a part of her life when she's away...and it feels like we both have 2 completely separate lives...one when we're together, and one when we're apart, and I want them to be the same life. I want to hang out with the same people, in the same place, and talk about the same things. When you don't experience things together, there isn't a whole lot to talk aobut, because the other person just doesn't understand...and in an LDR, as you guys know, communication is very important. If you can't talk, it may not work.

[mintjulep]

My mom has been telling me that "if it's going to happen, it's going to happen" since I can remember, and I've always found it to be sound advice. You can't control anything in your life except what you do with it. If you have a dream, it's your responsibility to pursue it. There's no reason why young love can't work out, even if you're far away. Besides, you gotta do what you gotta do. USC has a fantastic film school, btw. I don't know how it stacks up to FSU, but I know it's good. If you can work things out together, then do it, but don't go to St. Louis. You'd be unhappy, and might even break up as a result. Remember that college is a great time to get to know people and have new experiences. I have had two types of friends who went to college attached - one set attached to a best friend and one set attached to a boy/girl-friend. In only roughly 10% of the cases did the people end up happy together after freshman year. You miss out on a lot of the college experience if you aren't expanding your interests and circle of friends. This isn't to say that this would happen to you, but in my [very small] cross section of friends, it's been proven about as tough as maintaining a long distance relationship. Remember, as a last resort, there's always instant messenger, and if you have supportive parents, you can convince them to help you out with a cell phone plan with unlimited minutes (that's how my boyfriend and I keep in touch now, mostly). However, if you can find a compromise University, that would be a great way to go. Just remember that you will be miserable if you feel stuck somewhere, and you could even grow to resent your girlfriend. College is tough enough - at least, in my experience it was.

 

Besides, there's plenty to talk about when you're in different places, and you'll see her at Thanksgiving, Winter Break, Spring Break, and during the summer, at the very, very least. It's not like it would be 4 years without her.