BiCoastalLove Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 My SO of 4 months has not told her family about me yet. Should I worry? We are in a same-sex relationship and I am not sure how much that plays into her telling her family about me or not. Her parents know she is attracted to women but don't really approve. My family also is the same way but are a little more accepting of someone I bring home. I am getting worried that this may be an indicator to deeper issues. I do not want to rush things about when or how she tells them, that is her thing.. but she want me to meet them for Christmas when I visit. I get worried because she wants me to meet them but hasn't even mentioned that she is seeing someone... Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I think that maybe her not being out yet to her family is delaying the process a bit. It sounds like it at least from what you've mentioned so far. Maybe she's purposely waiting for the holidays to come around? More people are usually around at that time and she can let everyone know once and for all what's been going on. Of course this is just me speculating...you would know better than anyone and I could be way off base. Four months is still a very new relationship, especially in the LDR world, so I wouldn't read too much into things. My SO and I told our families about each other right away...but that's only because visits started happening right away. Had we been a local couple, I think things may have worked out differently. I know I waited a few months to tell my family about certain people I've been with in the past just because I didn't know how serious things would be at that point. And for some, I never told them at all because things didn't pan out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BiCoastalLove Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Thanks for the comments.. I understand why one would not want to tell their parents everyone they are dating.. but she makes it seem so serious with me and she was with me this past weekend in california when her grandma passed away back in florida. So it seems so odd to me that the family would not ask where or why she was in california....she recently told me that they did ask and she did not want to get into the conversation with me. I am trying to be supportive as best as possibile and wanted to send her and/or her family flowers but she shot that down because she does not want to have 'that' conversation with them. I feel so torn one about her not even mentioning me in general before this.... and the fact that I dont want to be hidden or be a part of a second world.. it is one of the things i value in someone I date and have little patience in the past for those who are not out with their family. I understand that family is a hard thing to deal with.. but it hurts that i cant even send a card, flowers or..i tried to get her to let me fly out to be with her cause I know how much her grandma meant to her and their relationship.. why do I keep thinking that this is something that bugs me and is has been a foundational issue with other SO in the past... Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I think it's only natural to have the conflicting feelings you are now...anyone would. We all want to be included in our partners' lives as much as we include them in ours. I hope that she will come around but if she doesn't, you'll have to ask yourself how long you want to wait around. By the time the holidays are here, it'll be over six months that you've been together (if I did the math correctly) and I think that gives her plenty of time to apprise them of the situation. What does she plan on telling them when you arrive? That you're just a good friend? Link to post Share on other sites
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