LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Long-Distance Relationships

meeting my bf for the first time. really nervous.


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Old 20th June 2011, 2:57 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 18
meeting my bf for the first time. really nervous.

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year.
I'm 18, he's 17. He's coming to my state in a few weeks to see me and I'm getting really nervous. I've done this befre, met people online and met them, two being guys I liked.
And both of those guys hurt me pretty bad..they told me they loved me and we only hungout once and I never talked to them again.

I guess that's one reason I'm nervous, but I think my bf now is pretty different from them because 1.) I met both those guys after only a couple months and 2) they never asked me to be their gf, whereas my bf now did..and he's been patiently waiting, loving and caring for a whole year.

So I know this guys different. Another reason I'm nervous would be cause I'm kind of insecure. I don't really love the way I look. I have my good days but overall I don't think I'm anything special. I've been trying to get more in shape and I just don't think I'm all that pretty.

Also I think I look a lot better in pictures so I'm nervous that my bf has this like, set way of how he thinks I look but when he sees me he might think completely different and hate everything about me.

The biggiest reason I'm so nervous though is because my constantly tells me that I'm the prettiest girl ever, that he promises that even if I looked ugly he'd still love me all the same.

He tells me im the one and that he will never want anyone else.

We've made planns to move in together when he graduates next year because the college he's going to is where I live.

He's also told me that he's sure I'm the one he wants to marry and have a life with. I'm worried that once we meet, everything will change. that he won't feel the same and all these promises and plans are gonna go right down the drain. I don't want that to happen because I really don't want to lose him, I love him so much and want us to work out.

He's also never had a gf before. Never kissed or even hugged another girl. so I'm really nervous about all of this. what do you guys think? and do you have any advice or experiences of your own? thanks

Last edited by rsiowb711; 20th June 2011 at 3:20 PM..
rsiowb711 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th June 2011, 8:13 PM   #2
Established Member
 
creighton0123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: MA
Posts: 1,463
Rsiowb,

Don't be so insecure about yourself. He finds you attractive. That's evidence enough that you are very beautiful in his eyes.

Things may change between you in the future. I doubt that will be because of his meeting you in person. You're both young and in love. Life and experience can tell you that things may or may not work out.

The only advice I can give the two of you is to constantly communicate, don't fight over little things that mean nothing in the long run, and be endlessly patient and forgiving with one another. Don't take snippy remarks or little disagreements to heart and just have fun and enjoy one another's company.

All in all, have a mature, dedicated, and fun relationship. Everything else will come down to compatibility. Hell, the door also swings both ways. You may meet him and then decide that there is no chemistry or that things don't feel like you thought they would.

After meeting and spending time with him, make the honest and mature decision about whether or not the two of you feel right for one another. Don't get yourself stuck and unable to escape if things don't feel right.
creighton0123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st June 2011, 3:10 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,908
If you met up it might be you who doesn't find him attractive, attraction isn't just about looks. If he doesn't find you attractive then he's not the right person for you.
It's never a good idea to make plans for the future with someone you've not even met yet, people don't always hit it off when they meet, some people won't even want to be friends let alone anything else, so to talk about moving in or marriage before you've met is irrational in my book. You may hit it off as well as you do online and on the phone, but no-one knows for sure until they meet, some of us are lucky that we do it off as well or even better in real life, but others aren't so lucky. Until you meet it's still pretty much a fantasy.
HeavenOrHell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st June 2011, 8:00 AM   #4
Established Member
 
Rollercoasterr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Married to my LD love!
Posts: 1,405
As long as you have presented yourself the way you actually are(your pictures are actually you) then you have nothing to worry about. He obviously finds you attractive there so regardless if you look better in pictures or not, you're still you. Now if the chemistry isn't there, that's something else entirely but keep in mind that it is a two way street on that one. You may meet and not feel anything at all for him, and vice versa. You never really know until you meet. There's nothing wrong with that, it just means that you may be better of as friends for now.

Just try not to stress too much and have fun. Meeting in person has to happen eventually for the relationship to progress, so you are doing what needs to be done. Good luck and enjoy your time together!
__________________
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than itís worth- Baz Luhrmann, from the SONG.
Rollercoasterr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2011, 2:22 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,062
Quote:
Originally Posted by rsiowb711 View Post
Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year.
I'm 18, he's 17. He's coming to my state in a few weeks to see me and I'm getting really nervous. I've done this befre, met people online and met them, two being guys I liked.
And both of those guys hurt me pretty bad..they told me they loved me and we only hungout once and I never talked to them again.

I guess that's one reason I'm nervous, but I think my bf now is pretty different from them because 1.) I met both those guys after only a couple months and 2) they never asked me to be their gf, whereas my bf now did..and he's been patiently waiting, loving and caring for a whole year.

So I know this guys different. Another reason I'm nervous would be cause I'm kind of insecure. I don't really love the way I look. I have my good days but overall I don't think I'm anything special. I've been trying to get more in shape and I just don't think I'm all that pretty.

Also I think I look a lot better in pictures so I'm nervous that my bf has this like, set way of how he thinks I look but when he sees me he might think completely different and hate everything about me.

The biggiest reason I'm so nervous though is because my constantly tells me that I'm the prettiest girl ever, that he promises that even if I looked ugly he'd still love me all the same.

He tells me im the one and that he will never want anyone else.

We've made planns to move in together when he graduates next year because the college he's going to is where I live.

He's also told me that he's sure I'm the one he wants to marry and have a life with. I'm worried that once we meet, everything will change. that he won't feel the same and all these promises and plans are gonna go right down the drain. I don't want that to happen because I really don't want to lose him, I love him so much and want us to work out.

He's also never had a gf before. Never kissed or even hugged another girl. so I'm really nervous about all of this. what do you guys think? and do you have any advice or experiences of your own? thanks

As long as you have been honest, you have nothing to worry about. Where these scenarios go wrong is when two people meet online and one or both parties represents themselves to be/act/look like someone they really are not and lie to each other on a daily basis for umpteen months and then the meeting comes and it is a disaster because now they are BOTH dealing with reality.

Only you know if you have been totally honest throughout this entire process and if you haven't come clean now before he gets here and then take it from there but if you have been telling the truth you will be just fine so relax and be happy!
__________________
And remember, the light at the end of the tunnel just may be you!
hoping2heal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd June 2011, 5:04 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,908
It's likely to work out if they've been real and honest with each other and communicated on skype, but they still won't know for sure if they have chemistry until they meet. They also won't have seen how they might react to certain situations until they have spent time together in these situations.


Quote:
Originally Posted by hoping2heal View Post
As long as you have been honest, you have nothing to worry about. Where these scenarios go wrong is when two people meet online and one or both parties represents themselves to be/act/look like someone they really are not and lie to each other on a daily basis for umpteen months and then the meeting comes and it is a disaster because now they are BOTH dealing with reality.

Only you know if you have been totally honest throughout this entire process and if you haven't come clean now before he gets here and then take it from there but if you have been telling the truth you will be just fine so relax and be happy!
HeavenOrHell is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Nervous about a meeting with some girl i met OCCDAVE Dating 1 19th December 2008 3:16 AM
First Meeting after 16 years!! Nervous! EMBeee Long-Distance Relationships 1 24th March 2008 8:26 PM
Meeting his mum!!!!!!!!! nervous I&ME Dating 2 17th June 2007 11:27 PM
Meeting his whole family! If i am nervous is it too soon? Juliet2 General Relationship Discussion 6 8th October 2005 2:13 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:32 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.