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Friends vs boyfriend


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4givrnt4gtr

So Im in a semi-LDR, which thank God, the LDR is going to end quite soon as we are planning to move in together this coming summer :bunny:

 

In any case, we usually spend every weekend together, either he comes to see me or I go to see him (2 hours distance).

 

Now this is my conundrum....I always get invited to parties, get togethers etc by friends from where I live or even where he lives. I usually turn them down because Im with my bf and we like to do our own thing but honestly I feel really bad. I miss having friends and a social life, and I really really wish my boyfriend would join me sometimes. At this point Im basically only talking/hanging out with my bf and I know thats just not healthy.

 

So i talked about it with him and we agreed to go to my friend's bday thing that I helped plan this coming weekend. Only, we discussed it about two or three weeks ago and I kinda forgot all about it.

 

So, now my bf tells me he has to work on Friday and has a training on Saturday so I agreed to go to his city, plus he came to seem last weekend. And then...i get an email from my friend, all excited about our little get together this Saturday :eek: Opps.

 

So now Im not sure what to do....not go to my friends and go to see my bf, since he wont be able to attend given his training, or stay and hang out with them and go to see my bf next weekend (though i know he will be a bit hurt about this) or.......eeek i dont know...

 

Thoughts? Honestly if it wasn't cuz I know Im gonna be living with my bf in a couple of months it wouldn't even be a question because time with him is so short on the weekends that every minute matters but since we will be living together....doesn't seem that....urgent to hang out every single weekend....

 

ugh decisions decisions

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hoping2heal

I can empathize that you do not see your BF much but you did already give your word to your friend, you need to honor that and your BF may miss you but he should be supportive of that. It sounds like you two see each other every weekend so, there is always next weekend to see him.

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Friends are a real asset in a relationship and marriage. Pay attention to yours. BF will be fine. Enjoy the party. :)

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HeavenOrHell

Stick to your original arrangement and see your friends.

Whatever you do, don't neglect your friends, don't make your partner the only important person in your life. It's healthy to have friends as well as a partner, and you'd need them more than ever if you ever split up.

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I agree with the others...maintaining your friends is very important. It is also important to maintain your own hobbies and interests too. Not only is it healthy, your bf will respect you more for it too.

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ditto on all of the above.

 

I made the mistake of being completely focused on a bf many years ago.

 

When we eventually split up, I'd lost my friendships from my own neglect---so I had to start from scratch, it took a while to build up a new circle of friends.

 

I've also been deeply hurt by a friend doing the same thing recently--she met a guy, and essentially treated the rest of us like we were disposable---it's such a shame... :(

 

She just blew everybody off, with no closure.

 

It is possible to have a healthy romantic relationship and still maintain friendships--it's just a matter of finding balance.

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