Blindsided with break up, having a real tough time

[universalchiro]

Ok so this is my 1st time posting on this website and I think that you guys, and girls, could really help me out. Ok so here we go: My girlfriend of 7 months just broke up with me over the phone the night before i was coming to see her for valentines day weekend. We had had a 45 minute amazing conversation prior to the breakup. It happened as we said good night to each other and i said I loved her and she didnt say it back. In a nutshell I asked why, she said she thinks I say it maybe too much to which I replied well if you said it to me and I didnt say it back wouldnt that hurt you. Of course she said it would and I said well then why did you do it. This proceeded into a cascade of I dont know if Im in love with you anymore and I dont know why type of answers. I actually still srove the 5 hours to upstate NY to get some real person to person answers and try to get to the bottom of things. I didnt really get any answers other than I dont think im in love with you anymore and things just arent the same. Now this was a real crusher cus we both have openly professed how incredible we are together and how much we love each other all the time, we also have never had a fight and I really felt like we have been on fire together the whole time. Just weeks before she had stated that i was the most amazing man she had ever met and i was what she had been waiting for her whole life. To make things even crazier I said well lets use this weekend to prove that we are still incredible together and take it form there. We proceeded to have an amazing time with me relasing for 5-10 mins only 2 times over the next 3.5 days. We also got down and dirty more than a few times and I had her laughing eyc like everything was ok. I left her on monday saying the ball is now in your court and i want you to call me when youre ready to figure out how we should continue. 2 days later she called and said her feeling havent changed and that she does not want to pursue the relationship further.

 

I am literally beyond heart broken as this was the prettiest smartest most open and legitimate girl i have ever even dreamed of. I love her a ton still. All i want is to patch this up and get back to being with my baby doll. Any advice on how to get a LD relationship back together and girls any insight on this literal after the best 6 months ever, it only takes a week to have a literal complete change of heart. Having trouble sleeping and functioning. I am 28 and she is 26. Also her birthday is in 2 weeks. It has been 5 days no contact. Should I call her on her bday? I appreciate any help that is out there.

[TokyoG33kyGal]

it won't be so bad calling her on her birthday but at this point, no contact is the best. you already left her the decision if you should continue the relationship and she already made it clear that she didn't want to take things further.

 

i know it hurts, i think you have already done your best to prove her how important to you this relationship is. however, she does not seem like she knows what she wants.

[KandiceHanson]

Wierd...The only thing I could think of is she either met someone else or is thinking about testing out the waters. That imo, is the only way I could think of for breaking it off with a nice guy like you. Otherwise, I wouldn't give her a call. Honestly, she needs to know what she is missing if you two are destined to be with one another. Let her see what she misses about you and let her call you back. If not, it's a sign you probably need to move on. Sadly, it is the worst thing that happens within LDR - changing without the other. It sucks, but really I would wait until she calls you. That way this will give you time to move on for the time being and for her to realize what she truly wants.

[justme21]

I agree with Kandice. You need to give her the opportunity to miss you. It's not playing game or trying to being hard.