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Hello everyone,

 

My problem is very complicated. I am a married woman. It was an arrange marrige. I have a boyfriend before i even got married. I am still with him. I am preparing to divource to be with my boyfriend. My boyfriend (Muffin) lives half an hour away from me but we managed to see each other twice or more a week. He recently got a new job and works in the City. Which is so damn far! I work three days aweek and he is now working 6 -7 days aweek. I can not see him after work because he finishes late.

 

I talked to him about how we not gonna work out at all. He just doesn't seems to care. He said I have no idea what i'm talking about. It looks/sounds like i am jealous of him working. But i'm not. Its just we have no time for each other. I don't just wanna know if i should end it after 2 and half years of together because he seems to love the job and not care about seeing me. Honestly, i wanted him to not work there at all. But hey! that would be very selfish of me. :)

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Beauty,

 

I sincerely feel sympathy for your situation having come from a part of the world where such things do not exist. Could never imagine how tormented I would feel if I loved someone, but had to abide by my parents wishes and marry a stranger of their choosing.

 

When my grandmother first came to this country from Italy, her father had selected a man for her that she just simply could not stand. He had gainful employment and could provide for her, but she had fallen in love with another German immigrant...my Grandfather!

 

They eloped and tied the knot before her fate was sealed. But her sisters, who's husbands were also chosen for them managed to stay happily married for many years.

 

I don't know exactly how to respond to your post since I don't know how your family and/or your situation might be effected by your circumstance. But I can certainly imagine how difficult it must be for both of you...

 

Good luck, and I sincerely hope that you eventually find happiness in whatever decision you make.

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He just doesn't seems to care. He said I have no idea what i'm talking about.

 

What do you mean by he just doesn't seem to care? Has he actually professed that he doesn't care about the relationship and if it lasts or not? If he has, then he's distanced himself from you too much and you two really need to talk.

 

He may be feeling insecure and saying these mean things just to hurt you if he's feeling attacked. When you talk about it, try not to be accusatory and simply be understanding and let him know you love him, and want to work to resolve any problems you two are having. If you simply trust him to find a solution, he probably will. Most men give up on things when they think a woman doesn't think he is competent enough to handle the situation. Then they grow resentful and the women are left shocked by the attitude their significant others have adopted.

 

Wouldn't you be a little annoyed if you had someone nagging you all day? Men especially don't see this verbal interference has having any helpful bearing. They see it as mistrust of their capability at handling life's little problems, which threatens what men are always looking for in women: Approval, admiration, and trust.

 

If you give him a little slack to take the bull by the horns, maybe he will surprise you. And be patient. If this is the first time you've done something like this, it may take him a minute to realize the opportunity he's being given. Let yourself become something to be attained. Let him feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from making his woman happy, and having a good career at the time.

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