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Ridiculous innapropriate come ons.


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When I go out, I usually am very upfront about the fact that I'm madly in love with my bf, that that man has my heart. In my experience, most guys respond really well to this, smile and say something akin to: "I respect that! He's a lucky man."

 

But then you have a somewhat important minority of the male population who will automatically respond: "Well, where is he?" My favorite was when bf was actually in the bar and I pointed to him and the guy actually said: "Oh, okay, I don't stand a chance then." and then left me alone.

 

Then there's the small minority who will actually respond, when I tell them I'm taken: "It doesn't matter". Two guys even went so far as to add: "I have a girlfriend too, it doesn't mean you and I can't have fun together". Hmmm... I don't know, shall we ask the gf?

 

It was bad enough when people made those comments when BF and lived in the same town, but now that we're long-distance, that question annoys the hell out of me. Who cares where he is? I just told you nothing is going to happen between us.

 

Last night wins the cake for stereotypical ridiculous come ons. One guy actually tried to convince me: "Come on, give me a chance, I know I'm better than your boyfriend."

 

Uh???? You're going to insult the man I just told you I'm madly in love with? I couldn't believe it, I laughed my head off saying, "sorry buddy, I'm the better judge of that, and as far as I'm concerned, my boyfriend runs laps around you, especially when it comes to picking up on social cues".

 

The guy then proceeds to say: "Girl, I'm crazy about you. You know how to put me in my place. I need a woman like you in my life. I want a woman who can dominate me." Annnndddd who said I want a man I can dominate???

 

 

Anyway, those anecdotes to say, LDR or non-LDR people, how do you handle the inappropriate come ons?

 

And does anyone know why guys ask :"Where is he?". A lot of guys do this, and I don't get it. Like I said, who cares where he is, I just told you that if you're looking to pick up, you're wasting your time on me.

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I guss some peoples egos are just too much for them to control.:laugh::rolleyes:

 

He has probably bagged quite a few ditz headed broads, thus thinking he can have any female that he wants.

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I guss some peoples egos are just too much for them to control.:laugh::rolleyes:

 

 

Yes, that's exactly how it feels.

 

Last night's guy definitely thought very highly of himself. I guess he's some kind of celebrity here so he probably thought I was awed by the very fact he was talking to me. It never felt like a balanced dialogue. It was all him trying to impress me. There was a particular outcome he wanted - to shag me - and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Well, he took no for an answer.

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Yes, that's exactly how it feels.

 

Last night's guy definitely thought very highly of himself. I guess he's some kind of celebrity here so he probably thought I was awed by the very fact he was talking to me. It never felt like a balanced dialogue. It was all him trying to impress me. There was a particular outcome he wanted - to shag me - and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Well, he took no for an answer.

 

even worse are the ones who think you owe it to them. Good job on knocking him down a few steps.

 

ps: tell CE I apologize for misspelling inappropriate in the thread title.

 

ok.:confused:

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Serenitynow

And does anyone know why guys ask :"Where is he?".

 

Obviously they want to know if he's in the vicinity, and if its safe to harass you more or do they need to move on.

 

Guys that barrage women with come ons like that do that over and over. And since it works with some women they continue to do it.

 

Some women will label his actions as confident, some will label it as desperate, it all depends on her situation at that moment, and if she finds him attractive.

 

.

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And does anyone know why guys ask :"Where is he?". A lot of guys do this, and I don't get it. Like I said, who cares where he is, I just told you that if you're looking to pick up, you're wasting your time on me.

 

Haha! Welcome to Spain.

 

And the "where is he" means if he is not here he doesn't count.

 

Because he should be next to you watching you and he is leaving you stranded.

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Obviously they want to know if he's in the vicinity, and if its safe to harass you more or do they need to move on.

 

Ha! That explains why that guy left so promptly when he saw bf. So what's the best way to handle it when bf is an ocean away and I usually go out with friends that are women?

 

Guys that barrage women with come ons like that do that over and over. And since it works with some women they continue to do it.

 

Some women will label his actions as confident, some will label it as desperate, it all depends on her situation at that moment, and if she finds him attractive.

 

.

 

Yeah, I imagine that for guys to be this persistent, it must work sometimes. I don't think of the guys who do this as desperate. I tend to think, like Pyro, that they're ego-driven.

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Haha! Welcome to Spain.

 

And the "where is he" means if he is not here he doesn't count.

 

Because he should be next to you watching you and he is leaving you stranded.

 

The same scenarios would happen in Canada too, in bars. I like dancing so every once in awhile I hit the clubs or some good concerts. I understand that in those settings its normal for guys to approach women, which is why I bring up the boyfriend within three minutes of first introductions. What I don't understand is why some guys miss that cue and keep going. As soon as they push things a little: I say, buddy, I'm not interested, I'm taken, and they still keep going. I find it disrespectful. Like what, you think you know my intentions better than I know them myself?

 

Anyway, my point was, the come ons are pretty equivalent in Spain and Canada. Well, with a bit more random street approaches in Spain.

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same scenarios would happen in Canada too, in bars

 

I guess they think that if you are in a place like that you are game, and you telling them you have a bf in the end of the world doesn't count.

 

They may even like the challenge if they are aggressive.

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Oh I wouldn't be too hard on 'em Kamille, they're just being boys. If you look at any group interaction of guys - from little kids on a jungle gym to brothers sparring over the last beer in the fridge to suits chatting around the water cooler - it's the same dynamic at work. They have a friendly competition with each other (picture little lion cubs pouncing and biting each other). Insulting the other guy in order to make themselves look better is the norm - especially when it's competition over a female. It's just Guy Speak and (as far as I can tell???) not really meant as an insult to either you or your BF.

 

I would just smile and not take them seriously at all. They EXPECT that you're going to reject them. It's just a little headgame, and I guarantee you they're not thinking twice about it.

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Ooh, I just re-read the OP and this is happening while you're sitting in a bar unaccompanied by your BF... a whole different story!!

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haha! yes, the Spain ones are so classic! Anywho, in my experience ,regardless of where these come ons take place, the best way to say "no" to a guy who won't stop talking is just to walk away.

 

Another option (my personal favorite) is to go out with a group of friends, that way if the guy won't leave you alone even when you walk away, you can start a new conversation with your friend(s) and give him the cold shouler. That one works pretty well too. I love it when they walk away all pissed off, then you see them pestering some other poor girl off in the corner 10 minutes later with that stupid smile on his face.

 

The best is to have one or two guy friends around, but they need to be guys who your bf knows he can trust, usually best with some more girls in the mix so he doesn't feel the need to suspect anything. Or take a guy friend with who's gay. Mr. Annoying doesn't need to know that your friend doesn't like girls, or that he's not your bf. ;)

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This is a pretty amusing thread. If men were half as forward as women when they see what they want the jails would be full every Saturday night. The most surprising come on I ever got was at a dice table. This good-looking woman is standing next to me and it's a hot table so we're shoulder to shoulder. We've been flirting a bit and I'm helping her with her bets. She likes the longshots so I show her how to make a horn bet and it comes in. I tell her to parlay it and it comes in again. I tell her to parlay to half-way and it comes in again. She is jubilant so out-of-the-blue decides it's now appropriate to cup my package! And not let go.......

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You'reasian

Last night wins the cake for stereotypical ridiculous come ons. One guy actually tried to convince me: "Come on, give me a chance, I know I'm better than your boyfriend."

 

Uh???? You're going to insult the man I just told you I'm madly in love with? I couldn't believe it, I laughed my head off saying, "sorry buddy, I'm the better judge of that, and as far as I'm concerned, my boyfriend runs laps around you, especially when it comes to picking up on social cues".

 

The guy then proceeds to say: "Girl, I'm crazy about you. You know how to put me in my place. I need a woman like you in my life. I want a woman who can dominate me." Annnndddd who said I want a man I can dominate???

 

Anyway, those anecdotes to say, LDR or non-LDR people, how do you handle the inappropriate come ons?

 

And does anyone know why guys ask :"Where is he?". A lot of guys do this, and I don't get it. Like I said, who cares where he is, I just told you that if you're looking to pick up, you're wasting your time on me.

 

I suppose some males enjoy women who can put them in their place?

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Yeah that is annoying. My old FWB did something like that about a month ago. We were talking and I was telling him about my boyfriend and he was like "oh so where does he live?" And I said "Canada" (I'm in the USA) and he had the nerve to say "oh well he doesn't have to know, let's hang out sometime" which I know is code for let's go have sex. Then when I told him no he got mad and had the nerve to then say "well humans aren't monogamous creatures anyway, and you two will probably break up sooner or later." Argh! I tell you some people...

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Citizen Erased
When I was a teenager I was at a bus stop and a man approached me and offered me $10 to spit in his hand. I was young... and STUPID.... so I turned him down. >_> For some reason the idea of a man masturbating with my saliva disturbed me. There was another guy standing next to me who said "I'll spit in your hand!" but the weirdo was insistent, he said it had to be me. Bus came and I jumped on, but I have never forgotten that experience.

 

Oh man, if he were to approach me today, hahaha...

You'd kick him in the balls, take the money and push him in front of the bus? :p

 

Aussie guys, at least the ones around my age, tend to not see a bf as a turn off. But they do take an upcoming wedding as one as I have recently discovered. :laugh: Saturday night I was being called gorgeous by this intoxicated guy, as soon as I mention I'm getting married, instant respect and consideration. I officially became old and boring. :laugh:

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I'm not going to lie kamile for some one who gives such great advice you are often clueless when it comes to things like this.

 

I am a man who has hit on many women ... and maybe you got hit on by 5 anoying men in one night but that guy probably hit on over 100 women until he found one who was willing to give him a shot.

 

He has nothing to lose and everything to gain by going after you as agressively and as best he can. It's only normal to ask you where your bf is if you are out and about with out him... especialy if its some kind of social fun thing people do in groups.

 

Maybe this upsets you a lot for some other reason?

 

The entire "so where is he" routine isn't as ridiculouse or inapropriate as you think. Plus if its just a boyfriend I think its fair game to steal a girl away...

 

Bottom line as a guy I've had women flat out call me a creep only to be making out with them and have the txting and calling me a bunch the next moment. As a man you really have to make things happen when you are single.

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When I was a teenager I was at a bus stop and a man approached me and offered me $10 to spit in his hand. I was young... and STUPID.... so I turned him down. >_> For some reason the idea of a man masturbating with my saliva disturbed me. There was another guy standing next to me who said "I'll spit in your hand!" but the weirdo was insistent, he said it had to be me. Bus came and I jumped on, but I have never forgotten that experience.

 

Oh man, if he were to approach me today, hahaha...

 

You were smart. As a young teen I probably wouldn't even have known WTF that was for. :lmao:

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I guss some peoples egos are just too much for them to control.

 

I was thinking the ego that's too huge belongs to the girl that created such a stupid thread. What's the purpose to announce you get hit on alot unless you want attention or feel the need to make others think you are hot ****.

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I'm not going to lie kamile for some one who gives such great advice you are often clueless when it comes to things like this.

 

I am a man who has hit on many women ... and maybe you got hit on by 5 anoying men in one night but that guy probably hit on over 100 women until he found one who was willing to give him a shot.

 

He has nothing to lose and everything to gain by going after you as agressively and as best he can. It's only normal to ask you where your bf is if you are out and about with out him... especialy if its some kind of social fun thing people do in groups.

 

Maybe this upsets you a lot for some other reason?

 

The entire "so where is he" routine isn't as ridiculouse or inapropriate as you think. Plus if its just a boyfriend I think its fair game to steal a girl away...

 

Bottom line as a guy I've had women flat out call me a creep only to be making out with them and have the txting and calling me a bunch the next moment. As a man you really have to make things happen when you are single.

 

That highlighted part is the worst advice that I have ever heard on here.

 

Does your GF know you feel that way?

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I was thinking the ego that's too huge belongs to the girl that created such a stupid thread. What's the purpose to announce you get hit on alot unless you want attention or feel the need to make others think you are hot ****.

 

I disagree. She is just ranting.

 

Getting hit on excessively when in a relationship annoys lots of women.

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