mpumi Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 I am in one. Met my b/f at a pub in South Africa (my homeland) and he is from Zambia. He had only one week left in SA. He left, we emailed each other and kept contact. I changed companies forgot his number and decided to go back and find his numbers, as I felt a connection between he said he did too in his emails. He kept encouraging me not to give up on us. But to pray that the Lord allows us to meet again. He came back just last month and he stayed at my flat and it was wonderful we were so in love we took pictures, And even came close to making a baby. He wants me to come to zambia. This is a blissful picture, maybe I’m lucky to have found an LDR that still works 8 months later. But also I am almost 23 he is 31, and I want to get married. He says he does too, but that he is broke and as soon as he is fine financially he will marry. His family know about me (good sign for all LDR’s). I am scared because there is a girl who used to date him who just breaks up with him and gets back together with him when she wants. I told him I am not comfortable with this and he needs to sort out this situation.(still waiting). Should I be worried? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 umm....just take things slow? good luck Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Your post is a big contradiction. You say: This is a blissful picture, maybe I’m lucky to have found an LDR that still works 8 months later. Then you say: I am scared because there is a girl who used to date him who just breaks up with him and gets back together with him when she wants. I told him I am not comfortable with this and he needs to sort out this situation.(still waiting). Then, the real kicker: Should I be worried? Doesn't quite sound like the blissful picture you attempt to paint to me, given that you are already insecure about the relationship. I do think LDRs can work...but trust is an essential element. Sounds as if you are missing that right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mpumi Posted August 5, 2003 Author Share Posted August 5, 2003 Guys, please hold on before u judge me any further. I love my man. And I miss him, and trust him with my life. He just seems like this girl is his weakness. We spoke about it and I asked him what he would do if she came back again(as she always does ) and wants him back, and he said he doesn’t know. Now, what is that supposed to mean? And more importantly how should I feel? So, I told him that is he does want her back he must choose between both of us…and he mustn’t waste my time if he really feels that he cannot make up his mind. This is the only thing that is outstanding…. Otherwise he really loves me …. Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousa Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I hate to bring bad news, but tbh, if he doesn't know if he would take her back and is not sure if to chose her over you or the other way round, then he most certainly doesn't love you enough! You deserve better than that, someone who would chose you above anyone else.... Let him go, remember it as a good time you were having and in learning what you appreciate in the guy you REALLY want to marry If you hang on to someone that unsure of his feelings for you, you are heading for big heartache, dear ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mpumi Posted August 6, 2003 Author Share Posted August 6, 2003 Thanks for the reply. he asures me that even though this girl lives in his country. i am the one for him, i trust him...should i believe him? one day she came to his houseand stormed out and found a print out of my emails and since then she hasnt been to see him, but this girl keeps coming back, am i in for heartache? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 6, 2003 Share Posted August 6, 2003 i trust him...should i believe him? Again, you are contradicting yourself. If you trust him, you wouldn't be on an Internet forum asking all of us whether or not you should believe him. Trusting him means believing what he tells you. Of course, he told you that if she wanted him back, he didn't know what he would do. That's not exactly a statement that would give me the warm fuzzies. This is not even 100% about trust. It's trust in whether or not he would cheat on you with her (or is cheating on you). It comes down to who he has stronger feelings for and who he wants to be with more. I think you definitely run the risk of being hurt, here. Absence can make the heart grow fonder in some situations, but she's got a prime advantage over you in that she is there with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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