WolfGirl21 Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 my boyfriend is eventually going to join the marines, after boot camp, & we briefly talked about us. He says that when he goes to boot camp (in SanDiego), we should become "just friends" because it will be too hard for him to cope, or something. I mentioned that to my mom but she's convinced he just wants to have the freedom to sleep with girls in Cali. (To fill you in my boyfriend thought of himself as our high school's manwhore; we became bf/gf Dec. '09 after we have both graduated from hs). Im convinced that we could cope with it, as long as we stay in touch & put in each letter to one another that we love each other, simple but enough to get through it all... anyone else been in this kinda situation that has some good advice on how to go about dealing with this issue? should i try & convince him that we can handle the distance, or should i just enjoy the relationship as it is now & then agree to being friends once he leaves? Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 I agree with your mom, when a guy is a self proclaimed manwhore and asks to just be friends because he's moving away it's usually a sign that he just wants to have the green light to sleep around without feeling any guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 I agree with your mom, when a guy is a self proclaimed manwhore and asks to just be friends because he's moving away it's usually a sign that he just wants to have the green light to sleep around without feeling any guilt. I have to agree. Camp Pendleton and downtown San Diego are going to provide him with a proverbial feast of women, and he knows it. If anything, military guys try to forge (if even rush) into relationships (even if superficial) before enlisting and getting deployed so that they have a connection to home. Link to post Share on other sites
Disintegration Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 I'm going to have to agree with your mom about his intentions. I think he might already be planning to be with other females and doesn't want to hurt you by cheating on you. If you are just friends then he doesn't have to worry about doing what he wants or being with who he wants. I can also say that if he really loves you and wants to be with you you both can make it work, LDR is possible while he is away. You most definitely can remain a couple however it does seem that he wants to lead a single life and live it up with no restrictions. You should talk to him about it, but you both have to want it or else he may stray and I think it would be worse if he was unfaithful to you. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 This is not a good situation for you, Wolfgirl. And added to that, the title of Marine will inflate his ego even more than it already is, making him that much more of a player. Especially coming from high school, he is certainly not mature enough to handle being in a relationship at this time in his life. He will want to live it up and be with as many women as possible while he sows his oats... The only reason he'd still want to be with you is to have something to hold onto whenever he feels alone or needs someone to talk to. Otherwise, you will practically not exist to him unless he needs you for something. You deserve more than that from a boyfriend. I would strongly recommend talking to Erica on LS. She went through exactly what you're going to be going through and will have many excellent insights to your situation. I vote LAUNCH. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 camp pendleton and downtown san diego are going to provide him with a proverbial feast of women, and he knows it. +1,000,000. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WolfGirl21 Posted March 24, 2010 Author Share Posted March 24, 2010 thank u for your reply. buti dont have to worry abut him anymore. he just dumped me (cowardly, over text) Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 thank u for your reply. buti dont have to worry abut him anymore. he just dumped me (cowardly, over text) I'm sorry to hear this... Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 Sorry to hear he dumped you, but in the end it's better this way. Now you're free to go find someone else who is less selfish like your boyfriend was and who will want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 my boyfriend is eventually going to join the marines, after boot camp, & we briefly talked about us. He says that when he goes to boot camp (in SanDiego), we should become "just friends" because it will be too hard for him to cope, or something. I mentioned that to my mom but she's convinced he just wants to have the freedom to sleep with girls in Cali. (To fill you in my boyfriend thought of himself as our high school's manwhore; we became bf/gf Dec. '09 after we have both graduated from hs). Im convinced that we could cope with it, as long as we stay in touch & put in each letter to one another that we love each other, simple but enough to get through it all... anyone else been in this kinda situation that has some good advice on how to go about dealing with this issue? should i try & convince him that we can handle the distance, or should i just enjoy the relationship as it is now & then agree to being friends once he leaves? OP, I'm very sorry to hear about this. That had to be very heartbreaking. I think the issue here is not wether you can in all reality cope, but that he doesn't want too. You can do anything if you really want to do it, he doesn't want too. Wether it is to sleep with women, wether it is to have freedom, wether it is just to be rid of your relationship. It could be any, all, or none of those things. You can be comitted to this relationship 100% but that will still not ever cover for the fact that he isn't. He isn't comitted to you or a relationship with you. Not really, he isn't. Many people go through this, they don't all break up. It sounds an awful lot like this guy is actually just using the marines as an excuse to keep using you for the comforts of the relationship & then dump you when he takes his life elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Hon, you dodged a bullet. An LDR with a committed, loyal, non-player SO is hard enough. An LDR with the high school 'manwhore'... is doomed to disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
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