g1rl_1nterrupted Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 So I met my boyfriend online about a year ago. He lives in Paris and I live in the states. We first met in person last summer in July when I was there for two weeks and then I went back at the end of November and just got home the day before yesterday. I was there with him for 3 months (max amount of time you can stay with out a visa). I know the first few days are going to be the hardest, but I seriously feel like I have this huge empty hole in my chest. I don't know what to do with myself. It will probably be about 5-6 months before I can be back again and I really don't know how I'm going to cope with being away from him... even when I try to distract myself, everything reminds me of him I was wondering if anybody had any good advice? Or just someone to talk to would be really nice too... someone who knows what it's like... It's hard to talk to the people around me because none of them really know what i'm going through at the moment :/ (I'm new to this forum also by the way...) Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 hey g1rl_1nterrupted, welcome to LS! I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky right now. I'm actually in a very similar situation to yours. I'm from the US and he's from Spain. We spent some time together last summer, and now I'm in Spain with him for a 3 month stay, and I'm on the final month right now. Gotta love that Schengen agreement with their visa policies huh? I'm doing my best not to think about the day I leave because knowing how much I'm gonna miss him just crushes my heart. At the end of the month when I come home I'll surely be posting on here and crying like an idiot! But I've got friends and family back home to keep me entertained. Some of my friends invited me on a road trip, and I want to do some volunteer/paid ESL teaching to keep my skills up for when I come back to Spain and look for work. I'm trying to find a position or a school that won't forget me while I'm gone so a work visa might be easier to obtain. According to the Spanish consulate I contacted a few months back, I have to stay out of the Schengen territory for a full 90 days before coming back. We'll see what happens! What are you doing with your time back home? Do you have a job? Do you have a group of friends that you can get out and do things with to distract yourself? You can't be expected to feel all better this soon after coming home. Cry as much as you feel like, and also talk to your guy about it. He's probably feeling the same way you are, if not worse, because everything in Paris surely reminds him of the times you had together while you were there. Keep your chin up lady! *HUGS!* Link to post Share on other sites
Author g1rl_1nterrupted Posted February 28, 2010 Author Share Posted February 28, 2010 Yeah, your situation sounds pretty much identical to how mine is right now. I felt the exact same way the last month of my visit... I tried not to let thinking about leaving get the best of me and bring me down, but god was it hard to do! And yeah, it might be even harder for him when he's still there and everything reminds him, I thought about that. He spent this weekend after I left with his friends playing video games all weekend to distract himself he said.. I've been trying to distract myself too as much as I can with friends or other things but it's difficult. The funny thing is... the last few weeks there, I tried so hard not to cry all the time and stuffed all the tears and then when I actually had to leave.. it was even hard to cry, I just felt numb and I still feel like I'm in some sort of daze. I was trying to be strong though and not upset him too.. I know just how you're feeling right now though! But try to be strong and really just enjoy every minute there!! I will try to keep my chin up If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to message me or something! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
kbh Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 I feel the same exact way as you right now. Similar situation. I met my bf this summer traveling around Europe. He lives in Portugal and I live in California. He was just here for 2 weeks, and before that I was there for 2 weeks. Now the EARLIEST I'll see him will be May, if not then, then it will be August. I've felt nothing but that emptiness that you talk about since he left (one week ago). I talk to him all the time on online, and on the phone but it's never the same as being together as I'm sure you know. I honestly don't know what to do either. It's so much easier said than done to just try to distract yourself. To me, distracting myself only works for a little bit, and then I'm reminded why I have to distract myself and how much I wish he was here with me doing what I was doing to distract myself from him! All I can say is that it does get easier with time as you said. It sucks a lot that we even have to go through it long enough for it to get easier though. If you find things that work for you please let me know!!! So far it's just been immersing myself in school work to stop feeling so alone. Message me if you want to talk and we can bitch together about it Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Hey kbh and g1rl_1nterrupted, just popping in to say I hope you're both having a better day! Link to post Share on other sites
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