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Long distance and need advice!


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RockNroll33

Well heres the deal.....I met my boyfriend my first year of college and had a great time spent every mintue i could with him. i thought it was hard enough when we had to go back home for the summer since he lived in a different country and i lived here in the states. but i transfered schools and now we are away from each other and its so hard with both being poor college students. We try to see each other as much as possible but lately it doesnt seem to be working out.

 

He tells me he loves me and cares but he just doesnt know how to show it while being long distant. I do everything i can to keep in touch with him call email write letters since i know instant messeger can be too inpersonal sometimes. he is happy at his school and i am now very happy and doing well at my school.

 

so i decided lately that i am going to pull back a bit because i def. need to see if he wants to work through this and stay with me until we can be together.

 

I just dont know what to do all i know is that i want what i had back.... its so hard to find real love and then be taken away from each other.

 

I guess i just need to see what other people think about all this stuff..... can people actually work through this sort of problem.....and when i am talking long distance i mean hes on one side of the states and i am on the other. atleast for the next 2 years.......

 

Just looking for advice.....

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You won't be in school forever. You can work through this problem if you both are committed. You need to decide if he is worth waiting for, and if he is honest enough to wait for you. If you so decide on this, then you should see each other as much as possible, but should not get mad when you cannot see each other.

 

Realistically, it will be very difficult trying to wait for someone for such a long time. Your distance and the time present two different problems. The amount of dedicated needed between you two is immense. You need to evaluate if the relationship is worth the effort required, if so, go for it.

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RockNroll33

Hey bill.... Thanks for your advice...I totally see what you are saying. I think in our situation Trust is a big problem. He has a past with a lot of girls and i dont have that many guys in my past. So its hard sometimes.....i get worried but he gets worried too. when he shouldnt be worried about me because i show my love and give my love more freely then he does and he knows this and says it.

 

I just sort of feel unloved sometimes even though he does say he loves me. I mean in a long distance relationship you have to go more out of your way to show the love....but in the long wrong it helps out a lot when you are together with them right?

I am just really confused because i have never had these strong feelings for someone. and i do allow myself to get hurt a lot..... just want to be happy and i am not sure i will find anything like this again....

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Try not to be insecure, have faith, hold on and do your best. Don't let fears and anxiety ruin something good in your life. You can do it if you really want it. Do your part and trust that he loves you (even if you are not sure, believe that, then it is more likely to happen).

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