elycium Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 Good afternoon. My question is this, if a couple have an LDR and one or the other is constantly cheating, will it work out? If one or the other comes forth and tell the truth will it still work? My story is this. My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me about a year ago. However we continued to see other and be intimate. At the beginning of the year he met a young lady in Pheonix on a business trip. They know each before when she lived here in Chicago. They exchanged emails etc. Communication with the two continued and he went to visit her in March. However after his return I found out about from him and was devastated. He says he feels like it's love but he confessed that he still loves me. I'm am sooooo confused. He didn't cheat on me being that we were broken apart, but we continued to be intimate. I put a stop on this and gave him a choice...me or her! Well he went back to visit her to tell her the truth. Problem is I don't believe him and if he does I think she'll forgive him. I'm not sure what is going on as we speak. But once you cheat on an LDR isn't it based on lies and deciet? Is it true love? How do I deal with this internal conflict? Do I take him back after such an affair? I just don't get how you can fall in love with an LDR after email communicationa and one week. I as woman know my wants and needs....time together. What the hell do people in LDRs really look for and why take such a chance? I don't know what is going to happen but I do know one thing, if chooses her it will only be disaster for him and her. As for me I can go on but this bizarre relationship is too weird for me to grasp. It would be so much easier if it was here in Chicago. Someone explain me to me why seek someone 3000 miles away when love is here right under your nose! Elysium. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 LDR have a lot of things working against them, mostly having to do with time and distance apart. For one to succeed, there must be explicit trust between the two parties involved, and fidelity. And it's easy to see where there can't be trust if one of the partners isn't faithful to the other or to the relationship. [color=blue]He says he feels like it's love but he confessed that he still loves me.[/color] well yeah, he's confused – he's got a woman he finds attractive (her) and someone who is committed to him sexually, even though they're not together anymore (you). The thing is, when you love somebody, those feelings don't die easily, even when you have to adapt to a new situation, like when you break up with someone or when they die. your options are to either give him up completely (no more screwing him), let things continue as they are (and you stay miserable) or decide that you're okay with the idea of an open marriage kind of relationship (where each of you do as you please, but still agree to have sex with each other, even if you're sexually involved with others). What option does your gut instinct say to choose? Link to post Share on other sites
Author elycium Posted May 8, 2003 Author Share Posted May 8, 2003 Let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
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