MasterJoseph Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for around 3 months now, having seen her a few times. We both knew it would be difficult, and started off talking plenty - texting, emailing etc. In the last few weeks, while I anticipated that the communication would drop of a bit, it has done very sharply from her end. When we talk it's dead, and she doesn't seem interested in any kind of romantic language at the moment, although she still says that nothing is wrong besides her feeling a bit depressed. Whenever I am romantic she doesn't respond, and our conversations have drastically shortened. I don't know what to think! Should I be worried? Or is there a perfectly reasonably explanation? I know that my feelings haven't changed for her, and when I ask her she says that neither have hers....I'm just...worried Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 Long distance relationships are very emotionally unfulfilling for most men and women, except those with the most incredible imaginations. Even those will go south after a while. Your lady has probably finally realized she's not going to get the kind of sensory stimulation, emotional and physical intimacy that she needs in this relationship. She may have met someone in her proximity who she can talk to face to face and hold hands with. If you care for her at all, you should support her in this if that's what the problem is. She may not want to break the news to you until she see's just what direction it's going to go in. Life is strange sometimes...but one thing is crystal clear. A long distance relationship will never, ever survive a long time if there is no basis for it which started with a significant in-person bonding. Even then, it's tough. I hope you will consider finding someone where you are. You will be able to more easily conduct a fulfilling, productive relationship with someone and have some promise in that. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 what's bothering her? the type of answer she'll give you will help you determine what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 She may be deciding that she might look for someone else, in order to get a relationship that is "more real". I know all the feelings you may have. I have been in a long distance relationship for over 6 months now. I was the one who was believing that it would not work and I have had these feelings of "what if". I have thought just what if I were to find someone close here, and what would I do if they wanted a relationship from me? It's tough having a long distance relationship, the first few months are the worst, with the first month being hell. In my case, we went out for a couple months, then became a LD relationship. Last time I saw her in person, was for 30 minutes, back in August. I now live farther away than I was in the start of this relationship ~2.5 hours away. Just ask her how she feels about all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MasterJoseph Posted October 20, 2002 Author Share Posted October 20, 2002 Butterflyz: In answer to your question, I _have_ asked her, and she says she doesn't really know. There have been a lot of other pressures from her family and schoolwork at the moment which have been depressing her. I think this might be the reason she's being a bit 'off' with all the other things on her mind. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted October 20, 2002 Share Posted October 20, 2002 well, then you'll just have to wait and see. hopefully she is a straight-forward person and would be honest with you when asked a question. it may have nothing to do with you. maybe she just doesn't want a relationship right now. i know i don't. but the reason i don't is because i believed in someone who is a phony. i realized that my "love" was in jest because i really didn't know who he was or how evil is really is. so, now that i have taken time to disconnect, i feel really good about it. i am happy we are not together, because he is a liar, a cheat, manipulative, underhanded and unethical. he is scum. i am grateful i found all this out now, before i got involved in something too deep. but, now the residual effect is that i don't want to be involved with ANYONE for a very long time. i realized he never really loved me and i really never loved him, because i fell for who i THOUGHT he was, as opposed to who is really is. he was actually going to stand up in a court of law and lie about how he has harassed me. the judge did him a favor and did not allow him to speak, but just the fact that he was going to do that, allowed me to completely break free of any respect or affection for him as an individual. i realize there is nothing he won't do to get what he wants or to step on someone to get what he wants. qualities that have no place in my life. i feel very superior to him. you live and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
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