In the Light Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 My LDR and I have had the pleasure of being together for over a month, but now I will be traveling back to my home state in the next few days. I am already having waves of sadness and separation anxiety wash over me. I am doing my best to show a good front, but it is tearing me up inside. I want the next few days to be happy ones, but I am battling the sad feelings and I am not sure how to cope with it. I know I will see her relatively soon, but it is doing little to quiet the pain right now. I would like to know how everyone else copes with it. She is the most incredible and beautiful woman I have ever known. She has coaxed me out of my shell and made me feel safe to be myself and not the person I have always shown the world. I miss her terribly even if it is just for a short time. I have never been one to need someone in my life, but I need her and want her in mine every moment. Just the thought of not seeing her each day overwhelms me. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
shantell5807 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 My LDR and I have had the pleasure of being together for over a month, but now I will be traveling back to my home state in the next few days. I am already having waves of sadness and separation anxiety wash over me. I am doing my best to show a good front, but it is tearing me up inside. I want the next few days to be happy ones, but I am battling the sad feelings and I am not sure how to cope with it. I know I will see her relatively soon, but it is doing little to quiet the pain right now. I would like to know how everyone else copes with it. She is the most incredible and beautiful woman I have ever known. She has coaxed me out of my shell and made me feel safe to be myself and not the person I have always shown the world. I miss her terribly even if it is just for a short time. I have never been one to need someone in my life, but I need her and want her in mine every moment. Just the thought of not seeing her each day overwhelms me. Any suggestions? We are in similar postions..I have a boyfriend of 1 1/2 years that I left back in my home state to go off to college, he plans to join me next year and we will have an LDR with few visits in between. I had a farewell party with everyone invited to my house and I was excited but also in the back of my mind I knew I was leaving the only person I have ever truely loved. It was hard keeping my tears away while trying to celebrate my going off to school. This is how we coped: Make plans. We always talk about what we're going to do the next time we see each other even little details like when/where/how etc. It lets you both have comfort in knowing you're bound to have more happy moments with this person and you're not saying goodbye--you're saying see you later! Fill each other in. Talk about anything and everything that happened to you that day, so you feel like you're not missing out on each other's lives. Never hold anything back. If you feel frustrated, sad or anything about the LDR let her know. Chances are she feels the same. Sharing emotions ands not pretending everything is okay will bring you closer together and stronger as a couple. Holding back will only create tension between the two of you as time goes by. Hope I helped Link to post Share on other sites
strongertoday Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I have been a complete mess both times we have parted...and it lasts 2 weeks. Nothing I can do stops the feeling, I cry and rant, and generally throw a tantrum like a 2 year old. But my guy is a gem, knows that is what I am like, and deals with it with lots of calls and communication and reassurance. 2 things helped me.... Counting down til I see him again (especially helpful at night when you cant sleep - in the morning you are one day closer). and The knowledge that there is no choice but to live this pain...the only alternative would be to end it and that would be a far greater pain. HUGS Link to post Share on other sites
awesomeness43 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 We are in similar postions..I have a boyfriend of 1 1/2 years that I left back in my home state to go off to college, he plans to join me next year and we will have an LDR with few visits in between. I had a farewell party with everyone invited to my house and I was excited but also in the back of my mind I knew I was leaving the only person I have ever truely loved. It was hard keeping my tears away while trying to celebrate my going off to school. This is how we coped: Make plans. We always talk about what we're going to do the next time we see each other even little details like when/where/how etc. It lets you both have comfort in knowing you're bound to have more happy moments with this person and you're not saying goodbye--you're saying see you later! Fill each other in. Talk about anything and everything that happened to you that day, so you feel like you're not missing out on each other's lives. Never hold anything back. If you feel frustrated, sad or anything about the LDR let her know. Chances are she feels the same. Sharing emotions ands not pretending everything is okay will bring you closer together and stronger as a couple. Holding back will only create tension between the two of you as time goes by. Hope I helped couldnt of said this better. constantly fill each other in and if possible talk through out the day even if its little txt messages or convos. let eachother know how your day is going and what not. one thing i at first thought was cheesy but now love and anticipate is have a movie night where you both rent the same movie, start it at the same time and on bluetooth or speaker and watch/talk about it together. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author In the Light Posted September 7, 2008 Author Share Posted September 7, 2008 Thanks to everyone for their replies and advice... Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Awww..... She is one lucky lady to have someone so "into" her! Link to post Share on other sites
j_hunt_12 Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Well man, it stinks i gotta say... my first parting was the worst and lasted... well... 2 weeks about... the second, we were only together 3 days and it hurt only a day or so after we parted. The posts here are right-on as to how to fix it. But I have to add video cam chats, they help so much. You can sit and talk to each other hours at the time and seeing each other means so much, even have some fun play also if you are up for it. I've noticed my LDR is so much easier once we got skype and video cams, I can't stress that enough. Now I really don't know how I lived without it before. All-in-all video will help tons, and don't hesitate to call as soon as you can after you leave. peace Link to post Share on other sites
Linnor Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 You've already gotten a lot of good advice. Another thing that might help is to use the time apart. Use it to write love letters, sending her little surprises, make plans together, discussing the future... It's also a good feeling to know that somebody thinks of you and misses you. Good luck! We are many here going through the same things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author In the Light Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 Awww..... She is one lucky lady to have someone so "into" her! I like to think that I am one truly lucky man to have found her... Link to post Share on other sites
Author In the Light Posted September 14, 2008 Author Share Posted September 14, 2008 I've really been missing my SO and it gets harder each day. The nights seem to be the worst...I can keep somewhat busy during the day and occupy my mind. It feels like there is a hole inside of me and I feel so much pain and longing. We talk, text and recently started to IM. This helps some, but it doesn't make up for the lack of contact. I miss holding her... I miss rubbing her feet while we sit on the couch watching tv...I miss the feel of her skin under my hand...the scent of her perfume..the taste of her kiss...the sparkle in her eyes...checking her out as she walks through the room...I miss how I feel when I'm with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Magpies Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 I know how you feel. I cried today when I realized it's only been a month since we said goodbye and it'll be another 5.5 months until we're together again. I didn't think I'd be this way. At the airport, I wasn't sad at all ... I thought of it as a "see you later" but damn ... It's a good thing though, feeling this way ... it means you've found LOVE. Are you doing the webcam thing? It really helps when I see him, but it's a little sad reaching out to the screen Link to post Share on other sites
Author In the Light Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 We haven't done the web cam thing...yet... The last few days have really been hard...I thought I was losing my mind. Things started bothering me and triggering negative thoughts and emotions that normally wouldn't be noticed. This just caused unnecessary stress in our relationship. I realized that I have never felt this way about a woman in my life. It is a double edged sword, because as good as it feels...is also as bad as it can feel. The feelings of missing her are so painful that they are almost unbearable. I'm not a wimp in any way, but I found myself coming to tears. I also feel so vulnerable...like in an instant, she could destroy me and break my heart. It scares me to feel this way... Link to post Share on other sites
Krajt Posted September 18, 2008 Share Posted September 18, 2008 Shantell's advice is the best advice you can be given. However I'm not sure they are for me, firstly nothing much happens in my life that is worth noting. I am a very mundane individual. Secondly, I always hold things back, I view shows of affection and feeling to be a) cringeworthy b) a mental weakness. I have shown affection to my girlfriend, but I feel stupid everytime I do so. I need to take on board what she has said and I will. I hate being apart, I never saw much when she was in the same region as me, because she was always with her friends or working. Now, she is far away and I am not sure when I will see her, it's driving me insane and she is out having fun, meeting new people, making friends and having an awesome time and I am here in the same place, living my usual mundane life and pretending to have fun. I miss her a lot, I doubt she misses me as much though. Link to post Share on other sites
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