strongertoday Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 I noticed a few of us are nearing the end of the hard times with our significant others moving to us or us moving to them. For myself that means my wonderful man is stressed and packing and waoiting for the visa to hit and such. So maybe we can share the excitement, stresses and countdown to that too.. HUGS Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Well mine is moving here in 3 days! Yay! Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 37 more days!!! Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 My man brings his first load of belongings in 29 days.... not sure of the official move date yet, but it can't come quick enough! Link to post Share on other sites
j_hunt_12 Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 well.. I am guessing it will no longer be LDR in 2 years if we decide to get married. And really, a large part of the waiting time will be for stupid visas. But anywho, I'm seeing her for two weeks 11 days from now so I'm stoked for the time being. Everyone else here is so lucky their times are so much shorter. peace Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongertoday Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 jordane....OMG you must be a mess !! I swear I am nesting here...lol...washing the windows even !! j hunt.....I know the visa stuff sucks. My man moves out of his house into his mums in 1 week. The visa we are told takes 2 to 8 weeks, submitted 2 weeks ago. We managed to go thru an immigration agent so at least it wont go back and forward for changes. Our biggest stress is what to bring. Moving from UK to Australia it is literally cheaper for him to buy alot here. Except for his tech stuff....lol.....wonder what customs wil say when they open his suitcase and it only has 1 change of clothes !! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Today! Today! Today! Unfortunately I have work so I can't be all dolled up but TODAY! Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Yay Jordane!!!! I'm so excited for you! I feel like doing the happy dance! 34 more days until we're living together. I can't wait. I'm already starting to freak out a little bit. But in a good way. Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Yes, he's here! Woot. HAPPY DANCE Almost less than a month! Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongertoday Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 Well mine told me last night (less than 6 weeks before he is due to come) that he doesnt love me....lol....joy of joys. I am hopeing it is just stress of moving 12,000+ miles. Now he is sleeping so I have to wait to hear that (hopefully) he was not thinking straight Jordane....congratulations....you give us all hope.... HUGS Link to post Share on other sites
Jordane Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Awww that's good to hear...the hope thing of course, not the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
Syrrah Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Hi Hi, I can't stop bouncing here, our Visa was finally approved and he'll be here permanently in 9 sleeps. It's better than Christmas He's American, I'm Australian so it's a huge move for him. But, 9 more sleeps.... Congrats to you Jordane, I hope it's going brilliantly Strongertoday, trust me it's just the nerves, if he's anything like my SO he's freaking out about leaving his comfort zone, making the move, all the uncertainties, leaving his family and friends for you, just be patient and reassure him it'll be ok. This is a great article I found that helps with some things http://www.savvymiss.com/love-advice/love-relationship-advice/love-and-relationships-archive/article/how-to-adjust-when-youve-relocated-for-love-69.html I made sure on his last visit to take him to expat American dinners, so he could meet folks in similar situations, have familar accents etc, I know it's different for him but there are also expat British groups, and in my City (Melbourne) we have lots of new to the city groups that have dinners, social events and outings etc. This way he doesn't rely completely on you and has his own friend structure, trust me that relieves pressure off of both of you. Best of luck to everyone. 9 more sleeps Goes back to bouncing Sy Link to post Share on other sites
hylandolycross Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I agree. i think he might be freaking out a bit... but in response to the original question. 4 years.... college sucks. but i know that long term is definitely on both of our minds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongertoday Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 Syrrah, my guy is coming from Wales to Victoria, so I will definately look into dinners in Melbourne (1 hour away from me). He is out of his house on Friday. and we have been told less than 4 weeks til the visa. How much stuff is he bringing/shipping? thats something my guy is finding hard. Please let us know how its going as it gets closer. He finally rang me and yeah it is just nerves. He isnt the most organised of people and that isnt helping either. So much to do in such a short space of time. Today I got a postcard from him. Finally something in his handwriting (he is the king of electronic communications). Brought it all home how real and close it is. Its wonderful being this excited ....lol Link to post Share on other sites
o0oscar0o Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 its so exciting to read all these success stories and some definitive plans. my wife and i have been married for 6 years, but before that we spend 9 month apart, visiting once a month usually for 3 days or so.. and i am not complaining after reading what you guys are going thru. we were only 600 miles apart but the international difference, canada to states, actually made it difficult and expensive enough. Syrrah, i applaud you for you intelligence and empathy. i was clueless to how difficult it would be for her to be here. she is from a close knit family and left that all behind to move to be with me and she still struggles alot after all this time. the first.. oh.. 2 years reached hellish proportions at times, but i couldnt imagine living without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Syrrah Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Hi hi strongertoday (long reply coming, I apologise in advance) Social Trust me when I say expat British have a better social network in Australia one great site I found when looking for expat Yanks was this one; http://britishexpats.com/resources/ Big community with lots of great helpful people, you can check out. Mainly I did lots and lots of sifting through google, there are expat things, but if that idea makes him a little homesick, there are just new to Melbourne or different city groups, they're a mix of overseas and aussies. They talk about everything under the sun, but again it's great as nearly all are in the same situation of being new to the area. The dinners are great, we went to our first one it was at a TGI Fridays and trust me I was the fish out of water *L* I'm the more outgoing of the two of us so I went along the first couple of times, just to put SO at ease and give him a familar face. Some meet up every friday for drinks, there are dinners, bbq's, lots and lots of political conversations and thankfully for my SO fooseball *cough* Gridiron conversations where their eyes don't glaze over like mine, others it's just a once a month dinner. We met people who have been here for 1 month upto people who've been here for 20 years and still go to the dinners to meet all the new folks. A great source of helpful advice and tips. So, if you can, take him when he gets here to an expat dinner. Ugh the Visa (nightmare) process (Can't describe it any other way) This might be easier for you guys as he's from Britain, but if you're doing this coming from america, take up a hobby that uses your hands so you're not tempted to pull your hair or your Immigration case workers hair out ;P I think they mostly say 6 weeks and I'm not sure what Visa you're applying for but I've heard legends of shorter and experienced far longer. Just hang in there, it truly is worth it in the end and lovely daydreams of zombies slowly attacking Washington Immigration is a great time waster, though it will bring a smile to your face . With shipping, we shopped and shopped around, we found shipping by sea obviously cheaper. Quotes from $500 US upto $5000. What we did was everytime in the last year we travelled to see each other we brought things with us, the excess baggage charges were cheaper . Plus he's not bringing any furniture etc as I have all that. Everything is nearly here with me all we're shipping is his huge book collection, about 20 boxes worth. It's leaving the US docks on the 18th and should be here by the 18th of October. Dock to dock shipping is cheaper, so if you get it to them to load onto the ship and then when it arrives go to the docks and pick it up yourselves, you'll find it's heaps cheaper. Just make sure to shop around. American postal used to offer shipping specials for books and other boxes but due to thefts from the docks stopped this. Check the UK though they may still offer this, you have to wait 1 - 2 months for it to arrive, but for the price savings it's worth it. When he flies in he'll be bringing all his electronics in his checked baggage that he's had packaged for shipping but put into his suitcases for extra protection against rough baggage handlers. You two sound like us, I'm organised, SO isn't. Trust me they hate nagging but appreciate lists and subtle hints on easier ways to do things. Figure out when you're going back to the UK next to visit his family. If it's a year or 2, get him to make a list. Things he can't live without and things you can gradually bring back with you after each visit. Though I know the luggage limits are smaller to the UK you'll both need to sacrifice taking a lot of things so you'll have the room to bring back. Everything else he needs, he can get shipped now. Get him to work out roughly what he wants to bring, how many boxes, weights and measurements of the lot. Send out a mass of quote requests (there's a lot of removalists on the British link above) get an idea of how much it will cost. Also keep in mind most international movers are used to shipping whole houses, so if he's not bringing that much keep an eye out for someone else who is moving and see if you can share costs. We couldn't find anyone, but you may. At this point if he's like SO he'll reassess what he needs now compared to how much it's going to cost. Awww, see it's just the nerves. Seriously getting closer to the day if you're both not have minor freak outs I'd be worried . Just keep reminding yourself everytime he's short with you or grumpy it's not you it's the stress of the situation. Also remind yourself that this Christmas will be your first of many together and you'll look back at this time and hopefully laugh. Keep thinking of the positives, trust me it'll help you bite your tongue when you're frustrated. It also helps to re-read the postcard he's sent you and remember how excited you were when you received it. If during the next few weeks you get the chance, buy yourself some silly funny cards. Write something sweet and motivating to your SO and post them during random times. Don't mention it to him just wait until he receives it. Hopefully he'll get it on one of the stressful days and it'll just make him laugh, smile and remember why you two are going through all this. Most of all try to stay positive and don't let the stress of the situation affect your relationship, keep it separate as best you can, I know this is hard but it helps. I'm still bouncing, I can't believe the end of this is so close. 7 more sleeps. But seriously if you have any questions or just need to vent let me know. ~ End of seriously long post but I did put in the date when out LDR ends, that counts right?? ~ ;P Sy Link to post Share on other sites
Syrrah Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 its so exciting to read all these success stories and some definitive plans. my wife and i have been married for 6 years, but before that we spend 9 month apart, visiting once a month usually for 3 days or so.. and i am not complaining after reading what you guys are going thru. we were only 600 miles apart but the international difference, canada to states, actually made it difficult and expensive enough. Syrrah, i applaud you for you intelligence and empathy. i was clueless to how difficult it would be for her to be here. she is from a close knit family and left that all behind to move to be with me and she still struggles alot after all this time. the first.. oh.. 2 years reached hellish proportions at times, but i couldnt imagine living without her. Hi hi o0oscar0o Firstly congratulations to you and your wife it's always great to hear of people who had an LDR and are still together and in love. Also don't discount the distance, I only get frustrated when I hear people who live within 2 hours drive of each other calling it an LDR and complaining . Thank you, I'm still blushing at the compliments. I try to put myself in others shoes and think "How would I feel", I find this helps a lot. In your wife's situation I understand completely, I was moving to the US until my family had a crisis at which point my SO said he'd come here. I'm a lot closer to my family than my SO, not discounting they have a connection and bond, just that I speak and spend a lot more time with mine so it seemed the easier situation. But thinking on what I'd be going through I if I did, I realise how big a life change it is moving for someone you love. I'm glad to hear things are better, my SO and I discussed the hardship of the distance from him and his family, I suggested and what we've done is have an emergency fund, this is in case anything happens to his family and he needs to travel home immediately or in case he's just homesick. It's also a firm rule that every second Christmas we spend a month with his family, trust me I'm taking lots of alcohol as his mum is still a little upset I took her only son to a different country. I've also got friends I've made on the trips over there that I'll spend time with, giving him and his family some 'alone' family time together. I think this is important too for them to catch up as the family unit alone. I'm hoping it's somewhat easier on your wife, I'm not sure the homesickness will ever leave as we all have those moments we just want to run home and get a hug from mum and dad but hopefully it settles down somewhat. Has your wife made friends of her own? I find with the large amounts of travelling and moving to a different city to my family it's been great to have my own friends and social network that I share and have separate to my SO. This way we keep our independence and having people and things outside of the relationship keeps you sane so you're not totally dependant on the other to the point your lose yourself. Our Wedding is next month (gosh the planning time has flown) so we're looking forward to being permanently in the same place and time zone for the rest of our lives. Any tips for marriage you have are greatly appreciated. Sy Link to post Share on other sites
Syrrah Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 10 hours, he's almost here. Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 its so exciting to read all these success stories and some definitive plans. my wife and i have been married for 6 years, but before that we spend 9 month apart, visiting once a month usually for 3 days or so.. and i am not complaining after reading what you guys are going thru. we were only 600 miles apart but the international difference, canada to states, actually made it difficult and expensive enough. Syrrah, i applaud you for you intelligence and empathy. i was clueless to how difficult it would be for her to be here. she is from a close knit family and left that all behind to move to be with me and she still struggles alot after all this time. the first.. oh.. 2 years reached hellish proportions at times, but i couldnt imagine living without her. Okay, I really have a question for you. My SO lives in Quebec, but I'm in the states. I'm moving north soon, so that it will only be about a 2 hour drive from each other. And then in 2 years, we're getting married. Anyways, how true is it that getting married is like chewing off your own leg? My sister started checking things out, and she seems to think that to do it by the date that we want to, it might be wise to start filling out the papers and stuff now. I just have no idea what to do! Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 Funny the U.S. can't (won't) assist me with even a secured time frame for his interview! U.S. Immigration SUCKS!! - I guess it isn't that bad for those who are already here (legal or not). But my husband is over seas and EVERYONE that has been connected to handling our case has been an imbecile. Just to illustrate the point, I recently wrote the embassy where he will be interviewing and specifically asked them how long it takes them to get the file from the U.S. Visa Department. Their answer? "As soon as we get the file from the Visa Department we will schedule the interview." Ugh yeah. Thanks! We've been together for over 8 years. But separated for 6. Married in 2006. We spent a wonderful 3 weeks together. That was the last time I saw him. Link to post Share on other sites
Magpies Posted September 17, 2008 Share Posted September 17, 2008 It will be another 5.5 months until I'm reunited with him and that's only if all goes well with my residency application. He mailed me the papers on Monday and I should get it early next week. I have a contract to work in another country so I'll have to apply from here, which might complicate matters, but it might actually work in our favor since this country has a less stringent application than if I were to apply in the States. As soon as he got the paperwork and sent them to me, it made it all the more real. I'll have to travel half a day to the closest Embassy and if all goes well, have my interview right then and there. Then it's just a wait. The tentative appointment is next Thursday! I'll have to call them to see if the interviewer is available that day. Figuring out how to get out of work is another issue, but it'll be done. Wish me luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongertoday Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 Rollercoaster - All I can say is start the process as soon as you can....I was lucky the Australian Embassy seems pretty switched on and at this stage we are not doing the spouse visa so its a simple visa and relatively quick...once we are married the spouse one will take forever I have been told... Island Girl - I am so speachless, you poor things......I can't imagine how you are copeing....hang in and be strong...HUGS Magpies - GOOD LUCK.... it is the hardest thing to hang in when its close....I personally feel like I want to chuck a tantrum like a 3 year old...lol....and I keep asking my guy to check his online status....which NEVER CHANGES !!! arrrrr My guy is out of his house...living at his mums and sorting out what to bring and selling the last few items (computer, speakers, etc).... Best bit was when he moved out he said it felt like he had already started his trip to me HUGS all Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Island Girl - I am so speachless, you poor things......I can't imagine how you are copeing....hang in and be strong...HUGS Thank you. It has been hard but even harder is dealing with an unsupportive family. They NEVER ask how he is, have I spoken with him, etc. It is like they don't acknowledge a HUGE piece of me is missing and it hurts. .... it is the hardest thing to hang in when its close....I personally feel like I want to chuck a tantrum like a 3 year old...lol....and I keep asking my guy to check his online status....which NEVER CHANGES !!! arrrrr It really has been so hard lately. Now that we were told his interview could be within the next month. I do feel that I have gone slightly mad within the last few months. My guy is out of his house...living at his mums and sorting out what to bring and selling the last few items (computer, speakers, etc).... Best bit was when he moved out he said it felt like he had already started his trip to me YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for the both of you! Do you have an idea of how much longer? I mean within 3 weeks or anything? Only because I can't seem to get definite timelines -- EVER Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongertoday Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 time lines SUCK....lol we were originally told 2 to 8 weeks.....its been 4 weeks tomorrow.... we went thru an Immigration consultant so hopeing that will speed it up. In our hearts we hope 2 to 3 weeks..... **sigh** I want to ring them and find out and pester a little but he is so cool.....and that annoys me too !!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Magpies Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 I am so nervous! The consulate canceled my appointment for Thursday and made it for Wednesday! That's just the day after tomorrow! I don't know if this is cold feet or what ... it just feels so damned official. Traveling for a few hours in a city where I don't speak the language and going to a place I've never been to before is just a portion of it - I'm really glad everything worked out well -- I got his paperwork just today, they allowed to combine my interview with my document submission (which will, hopefully, make things go a lot faster), my work let me have a day off without much effort ... but I can't help being nervous as all hell. It's not the fact that I'm afraid they'll deny me, it's just how official everything is. To go to an interview and profess your love in front of strangers and ask for residency in a foreign country (where you don't speak the language) is a big deal. Don't get me wrong, I love this man and I want nothing more than to be with him forever, but I've never done something so "official" before and well ... it's scary. Did anyone else feel this way or should I be worried? I'm gonna move to a place where everyone's blonde! And I'm so not blonde! Holy ****! Link to post Share on other sites
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