Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I met a guy on vacation and we really hit it off. He lives pretty far away from me. He sends me emails every day. We've been emailing for a couple of months. 90% of the emails have nothing to do with sex, and the parts that are sexual are comfortable with me. I know he's interested in more than just sex because he always has a million questions about me, my life, my hopes and dreams, etc. However, he is always asking for nude pics. I'm fully aware of the consequences of sending pictures online, yet I still have sent some. None have my face in them and they are pretty PG rated. It just kind of bothers me that he keeps asking! There are only so many poses I can come up with! Why does he do this? He says it is because it makes him feel closer to me. Well, pictures can only do so much. I honestly don't think he's doing anything scandalous with them. Why is so important for him? A man's perspective, please? Sometimes I just want to say, buy a Playboy! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Only he knows why its so important to him. I wouldn't keep sending them though. See if he wants to have anything to do with you if you tell him No and stop sending them. I wonder how many others are sending him nude pics. Sounds fishy to me. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I met a guy on vacation and we really hit it off. He lives pretty far away from me. He sends me emails every day. We've been emailing for a couple of months. 90% of the emails have nothing to do with sex, and the parts that are sexual are comfortable with me. I know he's interested in more than just sex because he always has a million questions about me, my life, my hopes and dreams, etc. However, he is always asking for nude pics. I'm fully aware of the consequences of sending pictures online, yet I still have sent some. None have my face in them and they are pretty PG rated. It just kind of bothers me that he keeps asking! There are only so many poses I can come up with! Why does he do this? He says it is because it makes him feel closer to me. Well, pictures can only do so much. I honestly don't think he's doing anything scandalous with them. Why is so important for him? A man's perspective, please? Sometimes I just want to say, buy a Playboy! I'm not a guy, but I can guarantee you, as long as you continue to send them, he's going to ask for more. You say you're pretty sure he's not doing anything that would be embarrassing to you, but how do you know? Why not see what happens if you stop? If he's really interested in you it won't matter. If he ceases contact, you'll know you were nothing but a complacent amusement to him. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Never trust someone with nude pictures of yourself. I had an exBF take naked pics of me. When we broke up he threatened to blackmail me with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 I already sent them. At least my face is not in them. The digital age sure changes things, though. I think he's just horny. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Share Posted February 22, 2008 Just saw TMichael's response, thanks. I think I will stop and see what will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 (edited) Dont send any pics of yourself nude. And if you choose to, because you are an adult be very cautious. Dont send any with your face. Pictures are hard to get rid of once someone has their hands on them. Before oyu know it he will send the pictures to so many people it will circle back to you. Women are a little different when it comes to visual and physical. Women dont get as excited and worked up over a neked picture of a man. Whereas men tend to act like its the first time they are seeing a woman's body. ( sorry men but you do). I say if you choose to send them use discretion. I sent a picture of myself to my "then" bf, and guess what? Were not together anymore!!! I have absolutely no isea what he has done with them, if hes altered them with smiley faces, or just deleted them. Edited February 23, 2008 by EYECANDY000 Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 It's just going to continue. He's no gentleman (is that a TOO old-fashioned term?) and if I was you, I'd cut him loose. I have no doubt that whatever pictures mof an even minimal purient nature have found their way to cyberspace. I would also hope you have more pride and comfort in self than to continue with that. He's a cad! Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Im a man and wow, I would love to be getting some nude pictures from some girl I had feelings for. I personaly have a girl who I had hit it off with when I lived elsewhere, yet am not dating because we now live really far apart. I don't have the nerve to ask her to send me nude pictures but that would be really great if she would send some. This girl let me take pictures of her naked before. To tell you the truth unless your a teacher or a politician I really dont think anything that bad could happen with your nude pictures. I mean do you really think there going to get mass emailed or something or that he will send it to your father in the mail or what ever. Really doubtful. And even if he did try to black mail you with these nude pictures they dont sound that bad, I mean its not like your doing anything ilegal in them. I SAY SEND THEM. OF COURSE IT MAKES HIM FEEL CLOSER DO YOU WANT HIM TO LIE AND SAY HE DOESNT LOVE SEEING YOU NAKED> LOOK MEN ARE ALOT DIFF THEN WOMEN Link to post Share on other sites
HisLove Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I don't think you've done anything wrong. R and I have texted each other naughty pics. Nobody's face is in any of them. Not on his pics, and not on mine. But I wouldn't send him any more. You don't have to mean about it. If it was me I'd say this in a cheeky way .. "No way. I'm not giving you any more pics. I want to leave you wanting more until the next time I see you." Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Ummm.... I think you're okay because your face isn't in any of them. I have to caution you though. My ex bf is a photographer and I allowed him to take nudes of me. Well, they ended up in his portfolio. I am not super alarmed by it because I see it as art.... but once they have a hold of them- they have them for life, and you don't know where they will end up. The reason I know my pics ended up public is because our mutual friend in the media industry told me she saw them when she went to hire them for a job. Yes... I could have sued him. Lil bugger. Link to post Share on other sites
HisLove Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 D-Lish - don't worry about suing, ask for royalties. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Thanks for all your advice, it really helps. Any other input is welcome. This is a subject I just can't bring up with my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I'd feel a little wary if he started asking for them first thing, or if he didn't act like it was going to be a really special thing for him to get them. He should also be willing to share images of himself in order for it to really be about intimacy. Maybe you aren't necessarily interested in seeing pics of him like that, but if it doesn't bother him for this to be one-sided, then that would be a problem. Chances are he just wants to feel turned on by you. He wants to see you. Imagination only goes so far when you're really into someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Well you've already met in person, so he doesn't really have to use his imagination. If you're not comfortable with it, tell him. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Um I was reading this thread here and just had an idea can't they be sold to sleazy web sites or mags? and the like. I'm not 100% sure and I wouldn't want to frighten you needlessly but I thought I herd that some wheres. So are you guys even officially a couple yet? I wouldn't be sending just some guy nude pics in hopes that a R will form. It just doesn't sound kosher to me if your really interested in starting a long lasting caring R you don't start off by asking for playboy pics. Think of it like this if you went out on the a 1st date in real life and the guy asked for that wouldn't you run? Unless your into that stuff I guess its amazing how the Internet really brings out the animal side in some. What ever you do don't send any more nude pics face or no face if he has a normal pic of your face. And knows anything about computers or photo programs he can always impose it on the nude ones something to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 What ever you do don't send any more nude pics face or no face if he has a normal pic of your face. In this day and age, he could put her face on someone else's nude body if that was his intention. Happens to celebs all the time. I think, more than what he asking for, it's how he's asking for it that is a concern. If it feels weird, don't do it... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
HisLove Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Yeah I'm with you MrLucky. Women's t&a look like NO other that ever existed lol. Instantly recognisable to every male on the planet. Same as guys bits....they are SO distinctive that if I looked at a few thousand pics, I could recognise one instantly!! Link to post Share on other sites
Space Marine Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Only he knows why its so important to him. I wouldn't keep sending them though. See if he wants to have anything to do with you if you tell him No and stop sending them. I wonder how many others are sending him nude pics. Sounds fishy to me. Sounds like unjustified paranoia to me. I mean, since when is a guy asking a woman he's into for nude pics "fishy"? Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Yeah I'm with you MrLucky. Women's t&a look like NO other that ever existed lol. Instantly recognisable to every male on the planet. Same as guys bits....they are SO distinctive that if I looked at a few thousand pics, I could recognise one instantly!! And your point being? I know it happends but it was just something for the OP to think about not every one has pure as the driven snow ententions when they ask for such things. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Sounds like unjustified paranoia to me. I mean, since when is a guy asking a woman he's into for nude pics "fishy"? I was with my then-boyfriend for 4 months before he took nude pics of me. Little did I know he would threaten to send them to my parents when we broke up. I had to do damage control and tell them what was up. Boy was my Dad angry..... Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Cherry Blossom 35 Tell the guy you want a couple dozen nude pics of him, face and all, before you will consider sending any more. If he doesn`t send them, then consider the issue closed. If he does, then say thanks and tell him after considering it you will not be sending any more. Even though nudity is no big deal right? It is a big deal when out of context. It seems you barely know this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
ABrokenWing Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 You can't take nude pictures back. Moreso with the internet nowadays. Procede with caution. Once someone has pics like that, they can end up anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
iSmiley Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 IIt just kind of bothers me that he keeps asking! There are only so many poses I can come up with! Why does he do this? He says it is because it makes him feel closer to me. Well, pictures can only do so much. I honestly don't think he's doing anything scandalous with them. Why is so important for him? A man's perspective, please? Sometimes I just want to say, buy a Playboy! my dear..if u r not comfortable about sending them..u shld be open to him and said so. Why forced to do something you don't even want to? Stop sending it to him already if you don't want to. if he can't accept that, hey...you shld know what is wrong then. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Space Marine Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I was with my then-boyfriend for 4 months before he took nude pics of me. Little did I know he would threaten to send them to my parents when we broke up. I had to do damage control and tell them what was up. Boy was my Dad angry..... Ah, the revenge nudes. Well, it was rather late when I signed up and started posting last night or else I'd have probably considered this aspect of the negative side of intimate photos. That's a terrible thing to threaten someone with. It's one reason I try to make sure the person I'm dating/whatever is somewhat stable and that trust is an important bond between us. But my ex girlfriend didn't have any communications with my dad, since it was a LDR, and almost all of my friends are female. If she'd sent the nudes out to them, they probably just would have went "Dayum! So .. you're single now right?" Link to post Share on other sites
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