LDR ...worth the risk?

[Goodin]

Hello all - I will try to keep this short....I just got out of a pretty toxic relationship and I feel like I still need some time to heal from that but there is a girl that lives about 2 hours away from me that I have recently went out with some and it seems like we could hit it off very well and have very much in common. The only problem I see is the long distance thing and I really do not think she will be happy moving to my town (she isnt enthusiastic about it) and I am very settled in my career and life here so I would not be willing to move where she lives, mainly because I can't get a job there doing what I do. I told her I need some space because for one I really need to get my head on straight after just coming out of a toxic relationship but also I am alittle concerned if it is worth the risk to invest in an LDR when it appears doubtful that either of us would move for the other. Should we go for it or just work on having a great friendship? There is alot of respect and adoration there....no doubt if we lived in the same place we would date regularly. Anyway...just want some thoughts, opinions, and experiences on the matter. Thanks!

[TMichaels]

Goodin,

 

It doesn't sound to me like you're ready to jump feet first into another relationship, let alone a long-distance one that brings with it unique challenges of its own.

 

Why not take your time?

 

Chances are this woman isn't going anywhere, and there's no rule everyone has to be be in a relationship 24/7. In fact, after being in a toxic one, the best thing you can do is give yourself a break and take time to assess who you are and what you want in this world.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Goodin]

Hi TMichaels - I agree with you exactly. At first I thought I was ready to start dating again and I went out with this girl some and realized it was just too much for me to handle emotionally right now, also the LDR thing is tiring for me too as I am getting over a major depression (caused by the toxic relationship)...so I asked for space which she was very good about doing that. She calls to check on me from time to time which is nice. I dont think she is going anywhere so when I get my head on straight, maybe in a few months I can have the energy to date again, and have the energy to do an LDR.

 

I really like this girl and I think she is worth it. I told her that if she meets someone else that makes her happy that I would be happy for her...which makes me realize I do have true feelings for her. Anyway, good to talk it all out!