dancinggal Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. He's on the other side of the world, and is working ridiculously long hours to save up enough to get over here to see me. We are going to be 8 months apart, and thats ok with me as long as I get some sort of sexual contact in the meantime with him. So I began writing him erotic letters, and encouraged him to do the same back, but his letters were very few and far between, and were no where near as passionate as mine. I went to visit him recently, and I was using his computer to check emails, and noticed a letter he wrote to his ex girlfriend (who I know he was very much into). It was a 26 page erotic letter, very detailed, extremely passionate and beautiful. And he wrote it to her when they weren't even together. Now I'm stuck. I know he loves me, he's moving away from everything he knows for me, but I fear that maybe he doesn't have as strong sexual feelings for me as he did for this other girl. And the worst part is I can't really say anything, because then I'll have to admit I was a bad person for reading it in the first place. What should I do? How do I get him to see me as more sexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruthieo01 Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 When did he write these letters to his ex? How do you know they weren't written recently? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 1, 2007 Author Share Posted November 1, 2007 They were written before we were together, but they weren't together at the time (weird). Link to post Share on other sites
Ruthieo01 Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Well I would ask him if he is not that into it, which would be a red flag to be because if he has in the past with other women, why not with you? Ya know? I guess I am one to keep up the guard and not get hurt, but feel him out and see what he says. If you have been in the relationship for a while and he is working all of the time. Maybe it is just not the right timing for it. Woking a lot to come home and try to respond to a big long letter that he recieved might be draining, also see if you can't get him into some sort of phone sex thing. Maybe it is just the letter's If this is a recent relationship, consider looking at everything erotic and sexually and make sure your not missing others red flags. . . A lot of maybe's in that response but That is what I think. Keep us updated Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 1, 2007 Author Share Posted November 1, 2007 The weird thing is he keeps saying he's into me like he's never been into anyone else. All his friends keep telling me they have never seen him so happy before. He says the sex we do have is the best of his life. And I know he is only working this hard in order to get down here to be with me. It's just weird. I don't know at all how to deal with it either! Link to post Share on other sites
Beckylynne Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 The way I see it is... Guys tend to fantasize about a girl until they "get them". That letter he wrote to his ex before he even went out with her shows he was "dreaming" to be with her. By the sounds of it, he's really just insanely busy! I would keep up with the letters. I'm sure he really appreciates them and I'm guessing that the lack of response is that he's so tired from being so busy. But I bet when he sees you next he'll remember them all and it'll be great!!! If you know what I mean! Keep your chin up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 2, 2007 Author Share Posted November 2, 2007 Awww, thanks Beckylynne. I know its something like that, and that I'm just being stupid about it, but it still kind of hurts anyway, you know? Oh, I didn't clarify, but they had ended their relationship when he wrote it. He was overseas, and they had broken up months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 try phone sex. it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
JosieMcCoy Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 try phone sex. it helps. Phone sex is good stuff! When done right! Oops! How would I know? Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 Phone sex is good stuff! When done right! Oops! How would I know? haha uhh ohhh Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 11, 2007 Author Share Posted November 11, 2007 I would like to try phone sex but my boyfriend is kind of shy about it. How would I even start having phone sex? Once, we were talking about it, and he's like, 'well, I don't think we would ever have phone sex' and I'm like, ok, that's the end of that. Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 just softly say i am horny and start touching yourself to make yourself moan and he will just sit there getting hard and her will eventually get into it. PS if he is quite all of it you know what he is up to:p Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 11, 2007 Author Share Posted November 11, 2007 Hmm, that's good advice lol! I will have to try it, but I might need a couple of vodka shots before I can try it. But guys like hearing naughty words, right? My boyfriend doesn't even really ask for dirty talk in bed! Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 ya its sometimes awkward for some guys to talk dirty. it was for me befor LDR but i got used to it and now i am master at it haha. also email him pictures. dont do the same pose in each picture tho, switch it up. you need constant change in a LDR to keep each other inclined to keep going. hows it feel taking advice from a 16-year old? just wondering. i have been told i am really mature for my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 11, 2007 Author Share Posted November 11, 2007 Lol, hey, if you know more than I do, why not! I'm still kind of nervous about it. I already sent him a bunch of pics (which he loved!) but all with my underwear on, and I said he'd have to beg me to send some without the underwear (lol). Am still kind of nervous about the phone sex, but I'm going to try it tonight. I'll let you know how it goes. PS Any last minute advice would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 good luck! my first phone sex was weird, but it will get really better Link to post Share on other sites
JosieMcCoy Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 good luck! my first phone sex was weird, but it will get really better Details please!!! LOL! Just kidding! No. Really! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 good luck! my first phone sex was weird, but it will get really better Just make sure the cell phone is charged. The cordless phones are newer types and not subject to casual evesdropping. One of my last ones I got caught when someone evesdropped on her cordless phone. Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 11, 2007 Share Posted November 11, 2007 Just make sure the cell phone is charged. The cordless phones are newer types and not subject to casual evesdropping. One of my last ones I got caught when someone evesdropped on her cordless phone. ahh thats all bad haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author dancinggal Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 Oh dear, it didn't happen. Its weird because of the huge time difference (my night is his day). I really want it to happen though. I was going to tell him about a sex dream I had, and hope that it turned him on. Good tactic??? Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 no cause thats more of a ease in. you just have to jump on it. being spontanious is what gets me really excited and ready. what makes butterflies in my stomach just do it when theres a break or pause in the convo. then just moan and say i wish you were in me or something like that. or be like i am really wet. and about the pics say i wont send you more unless you send me some Link to post Share on other sites
JustinCass01 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Details please!!! LOL! Just kidding! No. Really! LOL! haha i was really caught off guard when we were talking about school and all the sudden she starts moaning haha. but i had fun and enjoyed it. the day befor we had a fight and after the phone it was all better Link to post Share on other sites
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