tuttobene Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Hello Everyone, I'm new to this forum, but I just need to get this off my chest. I've been dating a wonderful man for the past four months. He is 41 and divorced (a year and a half), he has no children but is still friends with his wife, they were married for nine years. He is an american living in Italy, I live in the US. I work as a flight attendant so I've been able to go to Italy every month to be with him. For the the pas 4 months we have been in LDR bliss. When I wasn't there we talked or texted everyday. He sends the absolute most beautiful e-mails telling me how in love he is with me and how he will do anything to make things between us work out. The first three times I've been there it was magical. We just clicked! I can't even explain. About two months in the relationship while I was visiting we both professed our love for each other, him first. I love him very much. He even asked if I would like to move to Italy so we can be together. Although just recently he has been pulling away from me. It is very slight but I for sure noticed a difference. He doesn't look at me the same, he doesn't touch me like before, on my last visit he hasn't mentioned one thing about me moving there with him. I confronted him and he finally admitted that yes he has felt himself pulling away me but doesn't know the reason why. He pretty much said it is a chicken and doesn't want to be hurt again. His wife cheated on him. I all these theories in my head. My gut tells me it's something deeper then that. I just feel like if I knew the reason why I would be able to handle it better. Right now all I do is cry. I feel I was given this amazing gift of love and it's been snatched away from me. Not sure how to handle it and the distance. Link to post Share on other sites
dancinggal Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Yuk, this is a hard one. Long distance is dramatic enough without more drama ontop. If he's pulling away, its just going to get worse because he's so far away, so if he chooses to stop communicating, then its pretty much over. I say, give him an ultimatium. Tell him you love him, you would never hurt him, and he doesn't need to worry about you cheating on him ever. Tell him if he doesn't understand that, there is nothing you can do, and you'll have to say goodbye to all the great stuff you both have together, because in a long distance relationship, you have to have trust. Maybe ask him what he needs from you to know you are for real: does he need time? What does he want? Make him define it, and then you can do it and show him you really love him. Link to post Share on other sites
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