Green eyes Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I met this fine young lady about a year ago. She was in a relationship with a guy for over 9 years and they just recently broke up about 3 months ago. So I took charge and asked her out. At first she declined because she didnt want to start a relationship. So I backed off and waited. Sure enough she came around. We had an aggreement to keep it casual. But it didnt turn out that way. I have def fallen for this girl. She has fallen for me also. But theres one little niche in this. Before we started dating she made a promise to move to New York with one of her Best Friends. She has been sticking to her guns until this weekend. I took her out and showed her some things I knew she had never experienced. She loved it! Now she is having problems with her desicion on moving to NY. She said I am def putting jam in her plan. But then I asked her flat out, " are you moving?" She said, "yes". Her house is also on the Market. But she has just been so down about it lately. What do I do? Am I setting myself up for failure. How do I keep her from moving? Link to post Share on other sites
beccak Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 i have been in a similar situation and the best advice that I can give you is dont put any pressure on her to stay i know that this can be hard there is always the chance that if she stays things might not work out and then she may resent you let her make her own decision and if she decides not to stay then it is her loss xxxxxxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 How do I keep her from moving? short from killing her or abducting her and keeping her chained in your basement there is nothing you can do. And trust me, she WILL move. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 How do I keep her from moving? What beccak said. It's tough...but when you really (really!) care about someone, then you "naturally" want what's best for them. Even if it hurts. Just be supportive. So...what "impact" this is going to have on your relationship? It might be her decision, but relationships are a team effort. Does her moving spell the end, from your point of view? What about from her side? (And I'm not taking sides.) A promise is a promise, though. Don't use that word lightly. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 And trust me, she WILL move. It must be wonderful to see life in black and white. Colour is way, way too confusing for my taste. Link to post Share on other sites
Steff_a_nie Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Im assuming you are the one who wrote the post about this exact same thing the other day... so i'll just copy and paste my reply... Listen closely, You're not setting yourself up for failure but you have to realise that you and her have to try to keep the relationship together equally, its not a one man job. You need two to tango... you know what i mean... Long Distance Relationships can work but only if the two people are willing to try and make it work. It's harder then other relationships... you have to communicate more so then you've ever had to before mainly because communication is all you'll have most of the time. As for her moving, thats her choice and all you can do about it is support her and let her know that whatever she choses to do, you'll be there for her. But her lack of making a formal decission is telling me that she really doesnt know what she wants... you should be the one to help her figure that out. Good Luck and God Bless Link to post Share on other sites
Author Green eyes Posted October 4, 2006 Author Share Posted October 4, 2006 Wow I guess I am starting to understand. I totally need not to push her to stay. She will do what she wants. But the thing is, I cant be in a long distance relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Long Distance Relationships can work but they usually don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Steff_a_nie Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 but they usually don't. ...agreed, but i've been in one for three years now so i guess i'm living proof for that 3% of them that do last... Link to post Share on other sites
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