Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I don't know how many of you are familiar with Facebook, so I'll talk in terms of MySpace. You know that there are certain profiles that you can't look at unless you are that person's friend? Well Facebook has the same thing. Well one of these people I met at a party the other night had a FB profile like that, where you can't look unless you friend request them. Well we were talkin about FB and we said we'd look each other up...as friends...she has a BF who was there so its not like that. Anyway, so she lives in the same apartment complex as me and I posted on her wall that we'd have to meet up at the pool sometime (because we had been talking about going to the pool the next day, but I had to work). Well, my girlfriend calls me today, and asks who this girl Maggie is. And I'm like oh its the girl I told you about that I took her and her bf home the other night, they live here in Boardwalk. And then my gf asks me: "So you're going to meet her up at the pool sometime huh?" And I was like "well yeah we'd talked about going cuz she lives in the same complex as me or whatever." And she told me how if she had said something like that on some random guy's wall that I'd be pissed. Well, the point of the story is, my gf obviously has my password somehow. Because she CAN'T look at that person's profile unless she's friends with them, and she's not. The only way she could see what I wrote on the girl's wall is if she had MY password. What do I do about this? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I'd ask her about the password, how she got it and why. Seriously. It's an invasion of privacy. It really doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, and I'm a nazi about cheating. It really seems like your gf is looking for there to be something wrong. UNLESS, she doesn't know the details you've posted here. Does your GF know she has a boyfriend that you have met and hung out with? I mean, I'm not justifying her snooping, but the situation looks fishy to someone without the details. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 She must be friends with someone in your network in order to read the wall. I don't think she has your password.. and if you think she does then just change it Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I've never even been to sites like Facebook or MySpace, just on principal. I won't follow a link someone sends me to them even, so I have NO idea how they work. Maybe she doesn't have your password, I could be totally wrong... Link to post Share on other sites
scrybe74 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 #1) Change your password....now. I don't get how people are finding out these passwords for your email/myspace/etc - either you have it taped to your computer or it's so obvious it aint funny. So change your password...in fact...change ALL your passwords to everything....probably your pin # too (j/k)....(well...maybe not). #2.) I'd ask her directly...give her the chance to tell the truth. "Do you have access to my account? I was just wandering because...after thinking about it....I don't think it's possible for you to even read what I wrote unless you are on her friends list OR you have my password." This leaves her 3 options: Admit that she has your password, explain that she's on Maggie's friends list (it's possible but you can also confirm with Maggie) OR it's also possible that there IS actually a another way to see what you wrote (not likely) #3) If she admits to having your password without your permission OR tricking her way into Maggie's friend list (maybe she checked your history, went Maggie's page, couldn't see anything so chatted Maggie up to be on her friend list?) then you've got a g/f who doesn't trust you AT ALL and spies on you. #4) Have a conversation with her about mutual respec, trust and privacy. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong (but what you wrote WAS a little flirtatious) so just talk to her and let her know that you expect and deserve some privacy and you hope that she has a little trust in you. This sounds to me like a major control issue. She can't monitor/control what you do, who speak to and what you say....she needs to have faith that you are being faithful. And if your not she'll find out one way or another. I don't know many cheaters who get away forever....eventually you get busted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 She's not maggie's friend, I checked. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 She's not maggie's friend, I checked. the way the network works is that she could be the friend of a friend of maggies and still read her wall.. You can see anything in your network.. on facebook or myspace.. If someone that is not in your network becomes your friend, you then can see anything in their network.. including their friends.. which are not yours.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 Well yeah but here's the thing. This girl, Maggie. I'm friends with one of her friends, Lauren. I was friends with Lauren for a long time on there. Before I sent a friend request to Maggie, I couldn't see her profile. I was friends with a few of her friends, but I couldn't see it. My gf is friends with this girl Lauren too, and that's the only friend they have in common. Now if I was friends with Lauren and couldn't see Maggie's profile, then my gf shouldn't be able to either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 I changed my password just now. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Well yeah but here's the thing. This girl, Maggie. I'm friends with one of her friends, Lauren. I was friends with Lauren for a long time on there. Before I sent a friend request to Maggie, I couldn't see her profile. I was friends with a few of her friends, but I couldn't see it. My gf is friends with this girl Lauren too, and that's the only friend they have in common. Now if I was friends with Lauren and couldn't see Maggie's profile, then my gf shouldn't be able to either. those are privacy options that the user can set.. not all profiles are the same.. Those couple of friends that you had to be accepted had that option set.. But it isn't a requirement.. Glad you changed your password Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 Well I'm not sure what you were saying Art, but here's what I meant. My gf and I had the same connections to Maggie prior to me meeting her. We both knew Lauren. When I went and looked up Maggie's profile, I couldn't see it, I had to be her friend first. My gf has seen Maggie's profile, and she is NOT friends with Maggie. There's something that's not right. I changed ALL my passwords on every e-mail account and facebook/myspace. I've got nothing to hide WHATSOEVER on any account, but I didn't give her authorization to view my accounts. And seeing as all my passwords were the same, she probably had access to every one of my accounts, including my financial statements. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Your not understanding how the networking works and how each profile can set their own privacy options to be seen or not without being approved. It sounds to me that nothing is up.. it sounds like it is working the way is was designed to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 Nooo I DO understand how it works. I've written logic like that. What I'm saying is that my girlfriend is in the same "network" position I was in when I looked Maggie up and couldn't see her profile. I was friends with Maggie's friends, but before I sent her a request, I could NOT see her profile. My gf is in the SAME position I was in before I was her friend. So therefore, she should not be able to see Maggie's profile. See below: Sarah (my GF) before I friended Maggie Sarah : Lauren : Maggie Me before I friended Maggie Me : Lauren : Maggie We are in the same position, yet I couldn't see her profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 My head is spinning.. Me thinks that you are putting way too much thought into this.. Now that your password is changed let some time go by.. Put up something on your wall that she doesn't know about and see if she finds out.. she might also find out thru someone else who is friends and on your list.. maybe one of your friends had told her what was on your wall.. or sent it to her.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 12, 2006 Author Share Posted June 12, 2006 The only girl that we all have in common, Lauren, doesn't know Sarah well enough to even talk to her. But you're right, PW changed, problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I changed ALL my passwords on every e-mail account and facebook/myspace. I've got nothing to hide WHATSOEVER on any account, but I didn't give her authorization to view my accounts. And seeing as all my passwords were the same, she probably had access to every one of my accounts, including my financial statements. That's the smartest thing to do. Why not just ask her exactly how she read Maggie's profile? Possibly she has access to Lauren's account and could then read Maggie's site. Or another person who is a FB friend of Maggie's told her about it. It's an invasion of your privacy. Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I don't handle those things very well. Granted, I don't have anything to hide from my boyfriend, so a lot of the time, I'll leave my myspace open, and when he comes to the computer and gets on it, it's there for him to look at - if he chooses to. That's MY fault, for leaving it open. But like I said, I don't have anything to hide, and if it came down to it, and he asked for my password, I'd give it to him. If it made him feel better, and re-assured him that I wasn't messing around on him, then I'd do it without thinking twice. But, I'm glad we don't have this problem. We live together, and the only thing we do is work and hang out with friends on occasion, mostly just family... so there's not even any time to do anything we aren't supposed to be doing anyway. HA. But, yeah... I don't think this should have been an issue, at all. If in fact she did snoop, she has some questions to answer, for sure. You should just talk to her and figure out how she found out all of this information. Sounds to be like you need to start seeing someone a little more mature than that. She shouldn't have started throwing stones until she had substantial information to get angry at you for. She was mad before she even asked you about it. Ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
scrybe74 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Slapshot - I'm glad you changed the passwords. Probably for the best. But everyone here is pretty much suggesting that you at least talk to her. I'd be interested in knowing what she has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 Yeah I think what I'm going to do is ask Maggie what her privacy settings are. That way I'll know 100% whether or not Sarah would be able to see her profile or not, and I can confront her with definites intsead of assumptions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 UPDATE: I talked to Maggie 5 minutes ago. Told her the story. She said that her privacy settings are "FRIENDS ONLY." She said its for sorority reasons so the pledges can't see their pictures and stuff. So there you have it. The absolute only way she could have seen it was to either know Lauren's password or mine...and Lauren doesn't even know her well enough to recognize her on the street. So she had my password. Wow this is a really s***ty realization to come to. Here's a little upside. While talking to Maggie, she invited me to come over tonight because they're playing drinking games. That could be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Why not just break up with your girlfriend? You sound more interested in Maggie anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Maggie asked, or Maggie and her BF? It does sound like you're quite interested in Maggie? When are you going to speak to your girlfriend and how are you going to deal with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Slapshot2286 Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 LOL. Well, is Maggie hot? Yes. Would it be fun to go play drinking games with a bunch of sorority chicks? Yes. Maggie has some boytoy, and I have a girlfriend, so its not like that. I'm JUST starting to go out on my own...after 3 years of isolation...so human contact is a nice thing. I'm finally done with feeling guilty about having friends...so going over to Maggie's would have been just to hang out and have a good time. I didn't go over btw. And she said she was goin out to this bar tonight and I was gonna go, but she's got finals to study for and I have PT in the morning, so we're not goin there either. Honestly I'm just looking for people to hang out with, because when my gf went to Cali, I found out that I only had 2 people that I knew that would hang out with me...one being my brother...so I'm trying to meet people. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Yeah. You should just end it with your girlfriend. Maggie has "some boy toy"? So you don't take her relationship seriously either. You sound like someone who really doesn't want or need to be in a relationship. You know, it's ok to want some time to sow oats. It's normal. Just have enough respect to end it with your girlfriend instead of running around on her. She deserves better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 You sound like you're pretty intrigued by Maggie, so from reading, I think your girlfriend had every right to be upset with you. Leave her. Go play & have your fun... there's nothing wrong with that, but right now, I think you're getting ready to hurt someone... and there's nothing okay about that. Link to post Share on other sites
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