onlyhuman Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Long story short. I have had a good friend for over 15 yrs.He had his 50th this weekend.As we are leaving in front of his wife and sister inlaw he gave my wife a good bye hug and then reached over and gave here a double ass squeeze!I did not witness this but was told in the car as were leaving. So I'm fuming over this, it was uncomfortable for my wife and obviously for his wife and sister inlaw. I call him on Tuesday because I want to speak to him about this.Before I can even say anything about this he tells me in no unceratin terms I wrecked his party by giving the kids noise makers.It was a huge party with over 50 people and it was very noisy.It was a 50 th so a bit of roasting is expected, I even told his wife three days before of my intentions.He just laced into me what a complete ingrate I was and how I disrespected him by doing this, he was also quick to point out the expense of it all! Well being completely off kilter on this one I now find myself apologizing for this action???!!!! The talk goes on and he is not having anything to do with an apology.Eventually he goes into a rage and says I should have ##cked you at the party and told your wife some old stories from the past. I then hung up. Whats ironic about this whole thing is this guy has foot and mouth disease.In the past, unwittingly, or so I thought, he would spout of just really absurd things which were told to him in trust. Why would a guy want to deliberately hurt my wife and myself? Why would he be pissed of so much over the party and noise? I don't even know what to do about the butt grab, if I saw it I probably would have snapped his arm off! BTW the party was excellent, great food and everyone had a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 This sounds like a pitch for the Jerry Springer Show. Do you think he's using the assgrabbing as some sort of retaliation for you *wrecking* his party??? Link to post Share on other sites
cal gal Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Your friend's reaction doesn't have anything to do with you really. He is feeling guilty and defenseless. This, in turn is allowing his sick mind to try to turn the tables on you for his inappropriate behavior. He is not your friend. I can understand if he apologized the next day (calling you) and saying OMG I did bad, as I had too much to drink.... but Noooooo .... he is putting the blame on everyone else but himself. Don't waste your time with him, there are alot of other people in the world that wouldn't backstab you twice within a few days time like this jerk. I would also call him and tell him what an a$$ he really is, if nothing else - that he didn't even bother to apologize to get the so called friendship back on track! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Considering everyone had a good time, I couldn't guess. It is surprising since the host looked fine and seemed to be having a great time My wife feels his wife does not want us around anymore, sort of like banning the temptation.If this is true it is bizarre and completely cockeyed justice. This was a party were the kids were already running rings around everyone before the noise makers came out. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 He's just a dumbass. Plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Being the over analyzer I am, His actions brings up many questions and ideas: *Is he upset because he didn't get a giggly response from your wife when he grabbed her behind? *Did his wife give him a azz chew'n because of his actions? *Is he jealous of you and your wife because his life isn't as great as your seems? *Did your wife call his wife and complain and then he got reamed by his wife? *Did your wife call and chew HIM out? I don't think its the noise makers that has him upset I think its something else and he can't say it yet so he is pullling and throwing little pitypaddy things.. Maybe he is just having a Mid-life crisis and you need to put him in his place and not let him take control of the conversation... I think there is something more going on here then you can witness. You need to take charge and confront him and ask him wtf is going on and why the hell did he disrespect your wife and you with his actions. Don't let him take control of the conversation by changing the subject over to his piety party. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Thanks Calgirl. Up to this point this guy was a class act friend, people change I guess.This is an action that is not worth patching up. Sometimes you need to hear the obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 YA know pada's suggestion is good. Make sure the next time you talk to him (if you do) to be very calm. Don't react off of him, even if you want to. You are rational. He's trying to provoke a reaction from you for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I would just drop him as a friend and be done with it. The guy is an assgrabbin' dumbass. He disrespected your wife and he offended you. This isn't complicated. There's no need to get all analytical over this. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Is this a friendship you want to continue? I think he knew why you'd called and turned tables, going on the offense instead of defense, like calgal said. Call him again and don't pussyfoot around with small talk. Get right to the point: "You were way out of line grabbing my wife's a$$ and I expect an apology {to me . .. my wife . . . your wife . . . and her sister (whoever)} and or an end to this friendship. So what's it gonna be?" Instead of focusing on why he does the things he does, just stay focused on what it is you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author onlyhuman Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 At this point I'm through with him, 15 yrs down the drain. Once someone threatens to do something that would hurt your wife how can you ever trust their judgement again? I just need some advice to confirm what I thought. This has nothing to do with the party and it really is sad he would do this.My wife felt it was my friend so I should deal with it, so I tried.As to knowing if his wife was upset no idea, I doubt very much he is jealous and I at this point don't feel like calling his wife over his problem and causing her grief is the right thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Being the over analyzer I am, His actions brings up many questions and ideas: *Is he upset because he didn't get a giggly response from your wife when he grabbed her behind? *Did his wife give him a azz chew'n because of his actions? *Is he jealous of you and your wife because his life isn't as great as your seems? *Did your wife call his wife and complain and then he got reamed by his wife? *Did your wife call and chew HIM out? I don't think its the noise makers that has him upset I think its something else and he can't say it yet so he is pullling and throwing little pitypaddy things.. Maybe he is just having a Mid-life crisis and you need to put him in his place and not let him take control of the conversation... I think there is something more going on here then you can witness. You need to take charge and confront him and ask him wtf is going on and why the hell did he disrespect your wife and you with his actions. Don't let him take control of the conversation by changing the subject over to his piety party. Who cares what the reasons are... none of those are any justification for what he did so why waste any time trying to analyse anything. The OP should just drop this loser. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Well it seems weird that he's been your friend for 15 years and all of a sudden acts like a huge, throbbing @sshole and suddenly poof! the friendship is over. My exH's father grabbed my ass at our wedding reception. He never confronted his dad. I always thought he was a weenie. But I tend to date neanderthals, so there ya go. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Who cares what the reasons are... none of those are any justification for what he did so why waste any time trying to analyse anything. The OP should just drop this loser. Sounds like he plans too.. Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 My exH's father grabbed my ass at our wedding reception. . My XH's friend use to grab my ass too. My XH use to grab his wifes ass. It was all in joking around and we all knew it but it was never a double grab or over grab it was done to just joke around.. At my wedding reception my Uncle won my garder. He had to take it off my leg with his teeth/mouth only. NO HANDS.. (I have it all on video tape.!! ) He was constantly trying to get up my dress into my crotch with his face. .. It was so bad.. He was soo friggin drunk... OMG.. :o At one point he got his head under my dress and it looked like he *+*+ (you know)!! I let out a scream and my Uncles sister grabbed him and pulled him away from me.. hahahah Now that was innappropriate !!. Embarrassing!! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 What the hell is up with all this grabbing and gripping? Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 What the hell is up with all this grabbing and gripping? Some men apparently never learned how to treat a lady like a lady. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Some men apparently never learned how to treat a lady like a lady. And some ladies apparently allow themselves to be treated that way... reread your *garder* story, Pad. Why would you let some guy other than your newlywed hubby do that *beep*? Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 And some ladies apparently allow themselves to be treated that way... reread your *garder* story, Pad. Why would you let some guy other than your newlywed hubby do that *beep*? When you get treated poorly all your life you lose your sensitivity. I was degraded by my father so I believed I wasn't worth anything. He abandoned me. I was treated like shyt by my first bf, he was a pig and had me believing that a woman is suppose to submit to her man. He is the man of his castle and the woman was suppose to do as he says.. He wasn't the first pig I ran across like that. I am fortunate that I meet some great guys who worked on educating me. There are times when we are still numb to being treated disrespectfully. Sometimes we recognise it and stop it and other times we dont. The day I got married was miserable. it was March 16, cold, rainy, I was running a fever of a 103. and I got my lovely monthly friend. Do you think you would be in any mood to struggle much or make a scene. You just wanted it over with. He was drunk anyway. Also I said it looked like he did. He didn't I felt him lick my leg that is what made me scream. I was holding my dress down in my crotch protecting myself. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 The day I got married was miserable. it was March 16, cold, rainy, I was running a fever of a 103. and I got my lovely monthly friend. Do you think you would be in any mood to struggle much or make a scene. You just wanted it over with. He was drunk anyway. You could have just not done that thing in the first place... or is it some kind of tradition? Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 You could have just not done that thing in the first place... or is it some kind of tradition? Yes it very customary in Minnesota for the brides garder to be raffled or auctioned off (like mine) and the winner has to remove it with his teeth. The object is, in order to get bids, the bride will slowly raise the garder up to increase the interest of men to offer bids. I put a stop to it above my knee because I didn't want a man up in my crotch. At that point the timer kicked in and last minute bids flood in so some last sap can be in that zone since I was taken off the market.. My Uncle won it. So yes, it iis pretty much a custom of the area.. Not too often you hear of someone as crazy as my uncle who does this... Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Yes it very customary in Minnesota for the brides garder to be raffled or auctioned off (like mine) and the winner has to remove it with his teeth. The object is, in order to get bids, the bride will slowly raise the garder up to increase the interest of men to offer bids. I put a stop to it above my knee because I didn't want a man up in my crotch. At that point the timer kicked in and last minute bids flood in so some last sap can be in that zone since I was taken off the market.. My Uncle won it. So yes, it iis pretty much a custom of the area.. Not too often you hear of someone as crazy as my uncle who does this... Weird...... Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 Weird...... Yes it is but we got almost $1,000 for it. So who can complain to much. I was just a bit embarrassed . Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 He's just a dumbass. Plain and simple. Couldn't agree more with Smoochie!! What an ass and he shouldn't have done that . Makes me want to smack the he!! out of him . Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 I was kind of under the impression that male friendships had a set way of working these problems out. Didn't the rules state that you knock on your "friends" door, deck him, and two days later ask him out for a beer? I thought that was rule number 9 under, "Grabbing wifes ass without permission", amended with "Intoxication clause". Link to post Share on other sites
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