Whatsgoingoninmyhome Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 My live-in girlfriend recently asked me to check her computer because it was running slow. In doing so, I must admit I did a little snooping, and found some photos that she apparently took in my home. One was of her girlfriend, and her girlfriends boyfriend in their underwear in a sexual position on the floor in my masterbedroom. The other was of one of her gay male friends in my masterbedroom shower with no shirt, but with shorts, or bathing trunks on. She is aware that I do not like people coming into my home that I have never met (but seen photos of) who she met via online contact. I do not mind her having a male gay friend, I just dont want him taking a shower in my masterbedroom. I found no picutures of my girlfriend in any of these pictures, and they were located in her recycle bin for deletion. She has told me that some of her friends have been over, but she never has mentioned anything involving the photos I found. What should I do about this if anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 just ask her why they where there thats all you can do other wise you will go crazy wondering.tell her it bothers you abit.then decide what to do after shes told you. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 What? See when I have my friends come over we have some drinks, maybe grub some dinner, watch a movie.... but let me think... no, no I haven't taken photos of my friends in sexual positions in thier undies... and come to think of it, I haven't taken any photos of my Guy friends in my bedroom or shower.... I dunno, this seems kind of odd to me... and when your GF says it's her Gay Male friend is that code for he is just really "Happy" like uh... happy to be in your masterbedroom having his photo taken? LOL Sorry, I'm not trying to make light of this.... I'm saying IMO there is something else up that your Girl isn't be completely straight up about.... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 It's a non issue.. They were being deleted.. If it bothers you you need to bring it up and talk with her about it As far as the gay friend taking a shower.. Who cares .. It is also HER house .. I noticed you have used the word " your house " and "my masterbedroom" what about using the word "OUR" Does she know that you don't accept the fact that she lives with you and you don't consider it her house also ? How can you demand what she can and cannot do in her house ? Stop snooping ... you sound borderline controlling Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Unlike the others, I think you have cause for concern. I don't know anyone who takes photos of their semi-naked friends in their own bedroom. That is just wierd. Link to post Share on other sites
Whatsgoingoninmyhome Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 The reason I call it "my house," is because I pay 100% of the mortgage, I pay 100% of the utility, gas, water, grocery, insurance, etc. To put it simply I pay for everything in the house, and she has never contributed a penny. Indeed I pay for 100% of her living expenses including her car payments, beauty salon visits, gifts for her family and friends, spending money etc. Thus I believe I do have a right to call it my house. I have told her that I do feel uncomfortable having people that she has met online coming to my home since she does not know these people that well. I am worried both for her safety and my home being buglarized. Indeed I think that I am not controlling at all considering that I pay for everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I'm saying IMO there is something else up that your Girl isn't be completely straight up about.... Originally posted by Outcast Unlike the others, I think you have cause for concern. I don't know anyone who takes photos of their semi-naked friends in their own bedroom. That is just wierd. I don't disagree... I think there is something wierd too... Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodhubbie Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 The term live-in girlfriend implies that it is in fact YOUR home and you invited your girlfriend to come and live with you. If this is the case, it is just not right that she is inviting people over without your permission for any reason. Even if this is not the case, the fact that she is taking semi-nude picks of people, one of them a "gay" friend, in YOUR BEDROOM AND SHOWER is odd to say the least. I would absolutely confront her about it, and you have every right to be concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by Art_Critic It's a non issue.. They were being deleted.. If it bothers you you need to bring it up and talk with her about it As far as the gay friend taking a shower.. Who cares .. It is also HER house .. I noticed you have used the word " your house " and "my masterbedroom" what about using the word "OUR" Does she know that you don't accept the fact that she lives with you and you don't consider it her house also ? How can you demand what she can and cannot do in her house ? Stop snooping ... you sound borderline controlling I was going to ask the same question. Whose bedroom is she supposed to take those pictures in? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by thegoodhubbie The term live-in girlfriend implies that it is in fact YOUR home and you invited your girlfriend to come and live with you. If this is the case, it is just not right that she is inviting people over without your permission for any reason. Even if this is not the case, the fact that she is taking semi-nude picks of people, one of them a "gay" friend, in YOUR BEDROOM AND SHOWER is odd to say the least. I would absolutely confront her about it, and you have every right to be concerned. So Hubbie.. Is it her house ?.. come on.. when a woman moves in with you it "becomes" our house .. If you think it is not her house then go ahead and try that on a girl ans see if she feels the same way.. It is her house too.. Now granted if she was doing something behind his back then he needs to address.. But I also feel he needs to address his contolling behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodhubbie Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by Art_Critic So Hubbie.. Is it her house ?.. come on.. Depending on the amount of time she has lived there the answer is no. It is not her house per se. Has she been there a week, a month, or a year or more? And yes, it does make a difference. If you have been invited to live with someone do you automatically make yourself completely at home, and start inviting strange people into the BEDROOM and SHOWER. Even if I were to agree and say, sure it is her house too, seems like kind of intimate places to be inviting strangers ain't it? Now granted if she was doing something behind his back then he needs to address.. But I also feel he needs to address his contolling behavior. Obviously she is doing it behind his back and his wanting to know who and what it is all about doesn't seem controlling in the least to me. My two bits thats all Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Yes, it is her home, however she took those pictures while she was living there and IMO he has reason to be concerned. Like Merin, when I have friends over we're having drinks etc. My best friend is a gay female. She's never "felt" that way about me but I would still not take a picture of her in my shower! This has group sex written all over it IMO especially since he mentioned people she met on the internet! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 To tell you the truth, I don't see anything bad in her passion of taking photos of her friends even if they are in their underwear. What's concerning is the fact that she doesn't trust you enough to tell you about it. When we're not sure we'll be understood or we know we wouldn't - we hide things. Perhaps you should be less judgmental and not accuse her of infidelity because she took a picture of her gay friend in his shorts. Next time she might be more open about her activities. I completely agree with Art. Hubbie, if he invited her to live with him, it's now her home also. I would never invite anyone to live with me if I am going to consider him a guest in my house, unless it's my cousin who I have offered a place to stay while in college. But if my equal partner is living with me then it's his place too. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 why is it whenever a woman wants to downplay clearly sexual behavior with another man, that man is described as her "gay" friend? BTW, no matter if the house is both he and his girlfriend's house he can describe it as "my house." How often have you heard of women bashing some guy, saying "don't you be bringing some ho into my house!" His use of "My house" is an expression of how personally he feels violated. It is not a control issue for crissakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 It doesn't matter whose house it was. It's semi-naked people in bedrooms and bathrooms - in photos! I, too, think there may be some group sex events involved. What circumstances would these people be naked or semi-naked in the home???? They weren't weekend visitors or anything. How many of you go to your pal's places for the afternoon, drop your clothes, and pose for pictures? Ay yi yi! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by michelangelo BTW, no matter if the house is both he and his girlfriend's house he can describe it as "my house." You're right. Anyhoo, I think women don't see a man's body as alluring as men see female's body. A man taking pics of his friend in her underwear is quite different. I don't get hot when I see a man in his underwear like when men see women in their unddies. I only get hot when I becoem intimate with someone and he's naked and horny around me. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 just because he said MY house doesnt mean anything.i say to my friends "do you want to come back to my house" all the time.my boyfriend lives with me.but it doesnt mean anything. also why is he controlling her??? im confused i would be annoyed if my boyfriend had pictures like that.its not like hes telling her what to do all the time!so whys he being controllling??? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by michelangelo BTW, no matter if the house is both he and his girlfriend's house he can describe it as "my house." You're right. Anyhoo, I think women don't see a man's body as alluring as men see female's body. A man taking pics of his friend in her underwear is quite different. I don't get hot when I see a man in his underwear like when men see women in their unddies. I only get hot when I becoem intimate with someone and he's naked and horny around me. Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodhubbie Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast They weren't weekend visitors or anything. How many of you go to your pal's places for the afternoon, drop your clothes, and pose for pictures? Ay yi yi! Exactly! I'll admit I got a bit off topic with the whole "whose house is it" issue, but it basically doesn't matter! Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 I guess the OP will have to ask her about the pictures. Maybe it was a favour to the friends who needed them emailed somewhere and she had a digital camera. He can ask her what went on, or what is going on, but yeah it's "their" house if they both live there. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 So the net result is that its only cheating or shady if you DON'T live together... Who cares whose house it is? They trouble you because they don't fall within what you consider to be appropriate conduct. Call her on it, ask her what the deal is (try to find out how old the pictures are based on their creation date) and see what she says. If you are not satisfied (ie, she continues to think there is nothing wrong here), then dump her. Originally posted by michelangelo why is it whenever a woman wants to downplay clearly sexual behavior with another man, that man is described as her "gay" friend? Ain't it the truth... Just a variation on "my FRIEND" Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted August 26, 2005 Share Posted August 26, 2005 Where there's smoke, there is usually fire. I'd be really worried. Link to post Share on other sites
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