my love cheated/lied to me/her best friend, please help me....

[really_shaken]

Let me explain the situation a bit.

 

I am really_shaken and my gf is the first person I ever kissed/had any kind of relationship except pure friendship and I saved that till my mid twenties for the girl I will truelly love and she happened to be the girl.I never had any relationship with any girl before that.

 

When I met she had one for 4 years but not really good but she kind of shared few details with me about that and felt really awwfull thinking that this is the girl I love so much was having sex with some one else.I cried many times and then with time I got better and now almost over with that stupid thought.

 

But there is one more thing, which i came to know only few days ago.She came to america after breaking up with her prv BF and then met one of her male_friend here.She is best(?) friend of the male_friend and his GF(Julie).

 

But I found out some time later that(after we were into each other) that her_male_friend was coming staying with her without julie knowing it.I felt kind of bad and asked did you had any physical realtionshi[ with your male_friend and she said no.I just believed her(Thats the way I am, I take integrity seriously and give s0me one chance to prove that they are not honest to really believe that they don't have character)

 

so, I said you should have told your best friend julie about it , why did you hide? then she talked to her_male friend and said they will tell her but they never did, but i didn't press it either.

 

Now she said one time that she had two sex partner till now then I asked one was your prv_BF and did vy any chance second one was your best_male_friend(this would have been hard but I really really don't like not being honest with each other), but she said no I was probably making it up for sth I had only one.

 

I let it go because I really wanted our realtionship to work.Now I found this conversation in her computer(I was not looking, I never do that, i just stumbled on it by mistake) she saved one and half year ago.

 

At that time we were couple already in 3-4 months in our relationship.After reading this its clear that they were having sex and she denied it and on top of it she was still making out with him(if not having sex) when we were together.She loved me a lot at that time and she loves me more than anything even now but for me trust is totaly broken, I fought with my mom for her(long story) and now I feel that whole world is like this and you can't trust anyone.I don't know what I should do but I can't really imagine my life without her but on other hand I can't live with this fact that she was cheating on me and I did specificallyt asked abiout them having any relationship in past(before meeting me, i would have never thought she was having right under my nose) but she denied it and i wasn't very convinced at that time but let it go.

 

For me there is two things eating me, how she can do that with her best friend's BF and still feel ok about it, its disgusting to me and shows lack of character.And she was dis honest with me about it cheated on me.So, I am really really bad shape.

 

I will really appreciate if you can advice me on this.please I am almost begging you guys because for getting over the thought of her prv_BF's having sex with her was too much for me at one time but this forum helped me a lot and i found too many people to draw parallel and it became ok for me. so this time I don't know what to do, how to react so please help me on this.

 

I am putting her conversation with her_male_friend below and I am really_shaken in conversation and julie is the male_freind's 10 years long term GF and best friend of my GF and steve is male_friend's room mate.I changed the names, but few things left unchanged which will not reveal the identity of anyone.

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my_gf says:

devvi!!!

my_gf says:

this late?? what's goingon?

Her_male_friend_ says:

helloooo

Her_male_friend_ says:

nothing just can't sleep

my_gf says:

ush?

my_gf says:

julie

Her_male_friend_ says:

what's going on with you

Her_male_friend_ says:

she just went to bed

my_gf says:

umm, julie in bed, u can't sleep?

my_gf says:

what's wrong? horny?

Her_male_friend_ says:

no

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheheh

Her_male_friend_ says:

I could have used you though

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

oh really

my_gf says:

do u like my pic?

Her_male_friend_ says:

not this one

Her_male_friend_ says:

I cannot see anything anyways

my_gf says:

this?

Her_male_friend_ says:

ya

Her_male_friend_ says:

I like the one in red t shirt with the flowers

my_gf says:

o

my_gf says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

hey you should come over this wednesday

Her_male_friend_ says:

and sleep over

my_gf says:

i can't too busy with school

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok I see

my_gf says:

whywhat's happening wednesday?

Her_male_friend_ says:

julie does not stay at my place mon and wednesdays

Her_male_friend_ says:

well you acn come over from schooll

Her_male_friend_ says:

and then I can drop you off

my_gf says:

i hav enight class, see

Her_male_friend_ says:

on wednesdays

Her_male_friend_ says:

???

 

my_gf says:

yep tues wed, thurs

Her_male_friend_ says:

how about monday then

Her_male_friend_ says:

not this one though

my_gf says:

possible

Her_male_friend_ says:

ya steve never comes back home before 7

my_gf says:

 

my_gf says:

but u know

Her_male_friend_ says:

so we can meet at 4

my_gf says:

i don't think i can do anything with u anymore, becuz now i like really_shaken, so nothing may comeout fo ryou

my_gf says:

it could..but i am not sure

Her_male_friend_ says:

oppps

my_gf says:

i know

Her_male_friend_ says:

it's up to you

Her_male_friend_ says:

I am always uo for it

Her_male_friend_ says:

up

Her_male_friend_ says:

so if you don't want to it's all cool

my_gf says:

i know that my li'l devil

my_gf says:

i enjoye dall thetime with you

my_gf says:

i still wud, but i like hima lot now - i didn't 2 wks ago

Her_male_friend_ says:

me too

Her_male_friend_ says:

it's all good

Her_male_friend_ says:

I am not going to force ot persue it if you don't want

Her_male_friend_ says:

I know what I want

Her_male_friend_ says:

so I am just telling you

Her_male_friend_ says:

would be nice though

Her_male_friend_ says:

we had unfinished business since last time

my_gf says:

i know

my_gf says:

we neevr got a godo one

my_gf says:

i wanted one really good one with you

Her_male_friend_ says:

well we never got enough time

Her_male_friend_ says:

welll you can have it for sure

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheh

Her_male_friend_ says:

every one does

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I know you will too

Her_male_friend_ says:

but we need some quality and relaxing time

Her_male_friend_ says:

I would want o kiss you for hours

Her_male_friend_ says:

and then bitr you all over

Her_male_friend_ says:

go down on you and give you a orgasm

Her_male_friend_ says:

and then make you get on top of me and **** me till you get anotther orgasm

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I am goign to lie you down and **** you till I get one

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok I am oficiallyy horny now

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

 

my_gf says:

we shoudl have doneit more at hood

my_gf says:

that was soo good

Her_male_friend_ says:

ya

my_gf says:

no distirbacne

Her_male_friend_ says:

I hope you get a place

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheheh

Her_male_friend_ says:

then I can come over and abuse you

Her_male_friend_ says:

I know you cannot resist me if I start it

Her_male_friend_ says:

really_shaken or no really_shaken

Her_male_friend_ says:

and ofocurse I am a better kisser

Her_male_friend_ says:

hehehehehe

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I miss your hand

Her_male_friend_ says:

UMMMMMMM

 

my_gf says:

no he is good too!!!

Her_male_friend_ says:

ya ya

my_gf says:

and he is amazing going down

Her_male_friend_ says:

sure

Her_male_friend_ says:

I belive you

Her_male_friend_ says:

but you see I never got the chance to know you

Her_male_friend_ says:

if I did

Her_male_friend_ says:

I would have been magnificent

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheh

my_gf says:

i belive u too

Her_male_friend_ says:

man if only I had the time to work on you

Her_male_friend_ says:

I always need time

Her_male_friend_ says:

but once I know it

my_gf says:

so tellme which parts of my body you like best: rank

Her_male_friend_ says:

then that's it

Her_male_friend_ says:

love you legs

Her_male_friend_ says:

I can bite them forever

Her_male_friend_ says:

love your ass

Her_male_friend_ says:

when i touch you pussy from teh back I go crazy

my_gf says:

eyyy, u never bit my leg!!

Her_male_friend_ says:

well I neevr had the chance yousee

Her_male_friend_ says:

I need time

my_gf says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

I have seen that after i spend A week with a girl I can do exactly what she wants

Her_male_friend_ says:

and ofcourse i lovgev your pussy .. when i am in you I feel really good.... trust me your pussy is very different from other

Her_male_friend_ says:

you have this nice curve in it

Her_male_friend_ says:

so when I am in the friction is different

my_gf says:

hmm, tellme more

my_gf says:

what kinda curve?

Her_male_friend_ says:

it is a curve upwards just like my dick

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

so when i am pushing it fits perfect

my_gf says:

so perfect fit?

Her_male_friend_ says:

yes

Her_male_friend_ says:

I can feel you alll the way

Her_male_friend_ says:

not evry one has that

Her_male_friend_ says:

damn I wish you were here now

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

what a miss

Her_male_friend_ says:

I know

Her_male_friend_ says:

but if I ever get a whole weekend alone in thsi apt I will deffinely kidnap your ass down here

my_gf says:

hmm

my_gf says:

be careful

my_gf says:

really_shaken might come after you witha knife hahahahaha

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheheh

Her_male_friend_ says:

sure

my_gf says:

u also keep some knives handy

my_gf says:

 

my_gf says:

will u fight for my pussy?

Her_male_friend_ says:

I won't fight for any pussy

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheheheh

Her_male_friend_ says:

I get enough

Her_male_friend_ says:

but that's not the point is it

my_gf says:

**** you!

Her_male_friend_ says:

I want you that's why i told you

Her_male_friend_ says:

I don't play games

Her_male_friend_ says:

:-0

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

yes u play games

my_gf says:

i like playing games with you

my_gf says:

u play good

my_gf says:

with me'

Her_male_friend_ says:

no I don't

Her_male_friend_ says:

I always tell you the way it is

Her_male_friend_ says:

hope you like taht

my_gf says:

well, with whatever time u get

my_gf says:

play in bed

Her_male_friend_ says:

yes but you know ehat I meant

my_gf says:

ye si di d

my_gf says:

answer is yes

my_gf says:

good to put it out on the table

Her_male_friend_ says:

remember the first time I kised you at hood

Her_male_friend_ says:

damn it was hot

Her_male_friend_ says:

I did it because I had to

my_gf says:

it was very very good

my_gf says:

hmmm..interesting, pls explain you had to

Her_male_friend_ says:

when I was dancing with you and i was holding youar waiste and you legs I was going crazy

Her_male_friend_ says:

they were so firm

Her_male_friend_ says:

sooo firm

my_gf says:

mmmmmm

Her_male_friend_ says:

and some how I knew that would kiss me back

Her_male_friend_ says:

but it was a big risk

Her_male_friend_ says:

but what can I do I am too confident

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's why I am Jay her_male_friend

Her_male_friend_ says:

:_0

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

Agree???

 

my_gf says:

absolutely

Her_male_friend_ says:

so why did you kiss me back???

Her_male_friend_ says:

time for me to get some compliments

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

 

my_gf says:

i don't know

my_gf says:

i just did

my_gf says:

i wasn't thinking

my_gf says:

i just went with it

my_gf says:

it felt good

my_gf says:

u now first i was kinda unsure...funny thing i thought of my_prv_BF - like i'm breaking sth with him..theni todl myself stupid girl,,that was over long timeback..u don't owe him anything..adn by then kiss got better, and then it was mmmmmmmmmmm

Her_male_friend_ says:

heheheh

Her_male_friend_ says:

ya I knew you were done with your_prv_BF sooo long time ago

Her_male_friend_ says:

that it did not stop me

Her_male_friend_ says:

I never saw you like that before

Her_male_friend_ says:

never

Her_male_friend_ says:

but that night was just sooo different

my_gf says:

and also we were dancing 4 too long

my_gf says:

i don't kow if u got sth in mind when u saw me or sth

my_gf says:

but u know u kind of puta bet sorta with me..u said let's see how much u can take

Her_male_friend_ says:

well to tell you the trusth when I talked with you after a long time that night for soo long on the phone

Her_male_friend_ says:

remeber

my_gf says:

ofcourse i do

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I said I wanted to come over

Her_male_friend_ says:

well my intension was not to kiss you

Her_male_friend_ says:

but I some how knew we will have fun

Her_male_friend_ says:

not necessarily in terms of sex

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I am sure you knew that tooo

my_gf says:

as friends i guess

my_gf says:

yea...i liked u from b4 as good friend, nothing else

Her_male_friend_ says:

exactly ...

Her_male_friend_ says:

I had no plans fro that night

my_gf says:

u were always open - in dhaka - straight fed

Her_male_friend_ says:

it happened spontaneously

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's what I liked about it

my_gf says:

i guess u were too full of julie to notice me, but i like dyou even then among the others

my_gf says:

and after talkingi found my old frnd back

my_gf says:

so i was excited abt seeingu too

my_gf says:

and i know u r fun

Her_male_friend_ says:

me too

Her_male_friend_ says:

trust me I am not sick that I just wanted to see you to kiss you

Her_male_friend_ says:

I wanted to see you and party wih you sirously as good old friends

my_gf says:

i remembered u as fun fromdhaka

my_gf says:

and it was like good friends

my_gf says:

and i trusted you

Her_male_friend_ says:

exactly

my_gf says:

and then with dance, i noticed to started to touch me too much...butthat was later...sorts b4 teh kissingstarted

my_gf says:

you were feeling me up, legs, ass, back

Her_male_friend_ says:

welll that was just dancing

my_gf says:

maybe that made u want me more

Her_male_friend_ says:

not really

my_gf says:

no it was a l'il diff

Her_male_friend_ says:

it was the moment

Her_male_friend_ says:

I always dance like that

Her_male_friend_ says:

so that was not the reason

my_gf says:

you go down a girls leg?

Her_male_friend_ says:

I see it as dancing

Her_male_friend_ says:

I never get a hard on when I dance

my_gf says:

feeling her lightly ass adn all teh way down teh legs?

Her_male_friend_ says:

ya

my_gf says:

tightly, noy lightly

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's what makes the dance good

my_gf says:

hmm, that's new

Her_male_friend_ says:

I thought I tols you

my_gf says:

no u didn't

Her_male_friend_ says:

I have always danced like that

my_gf says:

well it was still dance, but touch felt a li'l diff toward the end

Her_male_friend_ says:

but never had a hard on cause I see it as art

my_gf says:

just b4 u started kissing

my_gf says:

u didn't get a hard on

Her_male_friend_ says:

well youw were not used to it

Her_male_friend_ says:

nope

Her_male_friend_ says:

I wanted to kiss yuou

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's it

Her_male_friend_ says:

but once I started it

Her_male_friend_ says:

then I was exciiiiiiited

Her_male_friend_ says:

:_

Her_male_friend_ says:

:-

Her_male_friend_ says:

:-

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

I won't make that night any diffrent if I can

my_gf says:

something came to life?

Her_male_friend_ says:

well I guess we were destined to do it

my_gf says:

i guess

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I some how knew that you will be cool about it

my_gf says:

it was soo good always when u came

Her_male_friend_ says:

it was just a inner feeling

my_gf says:

i always felt relaxed

Her_male_friend_ says:

me too

my_gf says:

but u know sudden;t at some point u got cold and stopped cominng

Her_male_friend_ says:

it just came naturally even though we met after soo manu years

my_gf says:

guess u got bz or sth, but i was hurt

Her_male_friend_ says:

you should know me beetrer

Her_male_friend_ says:

I don't like hurting people

my_gf says:

i never todl u this b4..cuz it' s kinda stupid

my_gf says:

but u weren't coming, and u weren'ttalking so i thought what happened, what did i do?

my_gf says:

i felt liek seeing u and u wudn't come

my_gf says:

you sadi u wud coem and didn't show up

Her_male_friend_ says:

I guess at that time I was busyyy

Her_male_friend_ says:

I will never ignore my friends

Her_male_friend_ says:

I would never never try to hurt my friends

Her_male_friend_ says:

cause If I do I get upset

Her_male_friend_ says:

when I like some one I just like them

my_gf says:

but u cudn't tell,s o i hid it well

Her_male_friend_ says:

and I LIKE YOU A LOT

my_gf says:

me too

Her_male_friend_ says:

AND NO WAY i WILL HURT YOU

my_gf says:

and i am saying as friend - not otherwise

my_gf says:

OKAY< I WILL REMEMBER

my_gf says:

and ifu ever make me feel that way, i'll complain

my_gf says:

instead of hiding it...it'll whine

Her_male_friend_ says:

you should always know what ver I do has a very good reason behind it

my_gf says:

i'll whine

Her_male_friend_ says:

exactly

Her_male_friend_ says:

just tell me what you feel

Her_male_friend_ says:

then you will knwow why

Her_male_friend_ says:

I do what I do

Her_male_friend_ says:

I keep things as simple as possible

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's why I never lied to you

Her_male_friend_ says:

or never played games

my_gf says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

and when I tell you I miss you

Her_male_friend_ says:

I dooo miss you

my_gf says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

wwhen I don't ... I don't

Her_male_friend_ says:

you know what i mean

my_gf says:

i do

Her_male_friend_ says:

I cannot just say something which I don't mean

my_gf says:

actually i likethat atitude

my_gf says:

be blunt rather than hide behind curtains

Her_male_friend_ says:

exactly

my_gf says:

i am mostly like that too

my_gf says:

maybe a bit too much

my_gf says:

i shoudl learn diplomacy

Her_male_friend_ says:

know I like the way you are

Her_male_friend_ says:

very staright forward

my_gf says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

i Know you sound rude sometimes

my_gf says:

hehehe

my_gf says:

juliera calls me too st fed

my_gf says:

fwd

Her_male_friend_ says:

but if someone is your friend they should understand you

my_gf says:

yea

Her_male_friend_ says:

like I do

my_gf says:

i don't hav eto hide behind curtains fro them

Her_male_friend_ says:

but with strangers u should be a little diplomatics

my_gf says:

i know

my_gf says:

i need to learn that

my_gf says:

i am very bad at it

my_gf says:

teach me

Her_male_friend_ says:

just think before sayng something

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's all

Her_male_friend_ says:

just think if someone tells you that

Her_male_friend_ says:

whether you will like it

Her_male_friend_ says:

I am not diplomatic at all

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

yea, but see, i don't think, it just come sout st thru my mouth

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's why I some times sound like a jerk

my_gf says:

without my mind processing it

my_gf says:

me too

Her_male_friend_ says:

so what are you wearing

Her_male_friend_ says:

your door is closed ??

 

my_gf says:

pink sleepwear

my_gf says:

yep

Her_male_friend_ says:

open ity

my_gf says:

take it off uu mean?

Her_male_friend_ says:

wish you had a web cam

Her_male_friend_ says:

yes

Her_male_friend_ says:

I want you to touch your self

Her_male_friend_ says:

and i will do the same

Her_male_friend_ says:

cyber sex

my_gf says:

well it'svery soft material, kinda big neck, has two buttons in front (doesn't open too much) it's kneee length, but has tow slits up the thigh on either side

my_gf says:

have never done it

Her_male_friend_ says:

can you open your panty

my_gf says:

i can, don't want to

my_gf says:

i'll touch ove rit

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok

Her_male_friend_ says:

no

my_gf says:

hold on

my_gf says:

brb

Her_male_friend_ says:

that's ok

Her_male_friend_ says:

forget it

my_gf says:

why?

Her_male_friend_ says:

maybe you are tired

my_gf says:

i am actually...sleepy

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok

my_gf says:

not feeling very sexual

Her_male_friend_ says:

then

my_gf says:

bbut still...u cud turn me on

Her_male_friend_ says:

I will let you go

my_gf says:

as we go

my_gf says:

i am interested

Her_male_friend_ says:

I am tired too a little bit

my_gf says:

oh okay

Her_male_friend_ says:

some other time

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

but we can make out

my_gf says:

a li'l

my_gf says:

i'm not too tired to make out

Her_male_friend_ says:

we will soon

my_gf says:

awhh!! fine!

Her_male_friend_ says:

will you atleast kiss me when we meet

my_gf says:

yea

my_gf says:

i think i can do that w/out feeling guilty

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

Her_male_friend_ says:

cool

Her_male_friend_ says:

you are my girl

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

it' sbad feeling if u feel guilty

my_gf says:

it's not fun anymore

Her_male_friend_ says:

I know

Her_male_friend_ says:

well I don't know

my_gf says:

u're my half bf

Her_male_friend_ says:

but I can understand

my_gf says:

hey u will always be my half bf, okay?

Her_male_friend_ says:

welll I can be fuulllyy satisfied just by making out

Her_male_friend_ says:

yes I will be

my_gf says:

m etoo

Her_male_friend_ says:

when I like someone I like them forever

my_gf says:

u know thats' what i lie dabt u

my_gf says:

most guys go st for teh ****

Her_male_friend_ says:

I know

Her_male_friend_ says:

casue they are sick

Her_male_friend_ says:

all they think about is sex

Her_male_friend_ says:

they see girls only as sex object

my_gf says:

i think making out is the art and the mor efun

Her_male_friend_ says:

yes ... if I don't feel the kiss

Her_male_friend_ says:

I cannot do it

Her_male_friend_ says:

making out is every thign

Her_male_friend_ says:

and ****ing is the last thing

my_gf says:

yea

my_gf says:

and i think that is notthat imp

Her_male_friend_ says:

meee too

my_gf says:

cuz u can masterbate

my_gf says:

but u can't get teh rest of it

Her_male_friend_ says:

exactly

my_gf says:

link of some pic

my_gf says:

me an dmy prof at his house

Her_male_friend_ says:

I see

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok then

Her_male_friend_ says:

we meet next mon

my_gf says:

k

Her_male_friend_ says:

come to the shady groove metro by 4:30

my_gf says:

link of my pic

Her_male_friend_ says:

wednesdays how long is your class

Her_male_friend_ says:

maybe we can meet after your class and go for a drink

my_gf says:

that's really_shaken..he's not a good looking guy, but he's a nice guy

my_gf says:

cool

my_gf says:

hey but what abt steve?

my_gf says:

i am scared of him

Her_male_friend_ says:

don't worry

my_gf says:

wed 8:45

Her_male_friend_ says:

he always comes late

Her_male_friend_ says:

we can meet at 9 in george town on wednesday too

my_gf says:

yea we cud do that

my_gf says:

but prob is i hav eto get on metro b4 10:30 to catch last bus home

my_gf says:

10:30 from foggy bottom

Her_male_friend_ says:

no I will drop you off at home

my_gf says:

actually 10:15

my_gf says:

but i have prob with khala

my_gf says:

so have to be back by 12

my_gf says:

is that okay?

my_gf says:

willtaht be enuf time?

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok then we will come back to my house late ... when steve is sleeping

my_gf says:

jaygam i can't do it

Her_male_friend_ says:

steve sleeps by 12 anywyays

my_gf says:

u know why

Her_male_friend_ says:

why

my_gf says:

i had so muc problem with aunt talking home recently

my_gf says:

i don't think i told u

my_gf says:

haven;t seen u much

my_gf says:

but it was nasty

my_gf says:

i almost forgit

Her_male_friend_ says:

but you can tell her in advance you witll stay with julie

my_gf says:

so i shouldn't try to stay anywher

my_gf says:

but weeknight

my_gf says:

it'll look too suspicious

Her_male_friend_ says:

wednesday is a week nithgt

Her_male_friend_ says:

anyways we will talk about it later

Her_male_friend_ says:

if you need to go homw by 12

my_gf says:

lets go to gwtown and srink and kiss n come back

Her_male_friend_ says:

then I will drop you off by 12

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok

Her_male_friend_ says:

sounds good

my_gf says:

but we can't kiss in publci

my_gf says:

what if someone sees and really_shaken gets to know

Her_male_friend_ says:

you are crazy

Her_male_friend_ says:

anyways

Her_male_friend_ says:

I have to go to bed

Her_male_friend_ says:

talk to you later

my_gf says:

ok

my_gf says:

we shoudl do this tho

Her_male_friend_ says:

hopw to see you soon

my_gf says:

ok, i'm going to bed as well

my_gf says:

me 2

my_gf says:

bye

Her_male_friend_ says:

what should we do??

 

my_gf says:

do? when?

my_gf says:

not this wk

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok

my_gf says:

i have all kind sof things

my_gf says:

next wk i also have 1 exam

my_gf says:

i forgot when

my_gf says:

but one exam wont eb so bad

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok

Her_male_friend_ says:

when ever is good

my_gf says:

i shud be able to do it next wk

my_gf says:

yea

my_gf says:

no hurry

Her_male_friend_ says:

exactly

Her_male_friend_ says:

ok

my_gf says:

k, g'night

Her_male_friend_ says:

good nitght

Her_male_friend_ says:

 

my_gf says:

masterbate thinking of m e

my_gf says:

hehehe

Her_male_friend_ says:

BYEEE

my_gf says:

i feel warm all over

my_gf says:

byee - big one

 

----------------------------------

 

 

Please tell me what to do because I don't want to loose her but don't want ot live with her also.I am almost loosing faith from this love and anything related with this........

 

But I know love is there and would really appreciate if you can go through this whicle conversation and let me know about your thoughts.

 

-Really_Shaken

[really_shaken]

She changed a lot for me and she is so much into me that she hasn't been going out with her friends for probably one year now.She was more party type/bar/dance and I am more into sports/outdoors but i always encouraged her to go out with her friends but she hasn't been going out and probably went out one or two time only.

 

I thought I should share this information for you come to any conclusion.she started playing tennis with me also and she loves it now days more than I do.

 

Infact I have very good evidence that she misses it a lot and she admitted to some one recently that she misses it so badly(should i assume she misses her male_friend or I am just going in wrong direction?

 

-really_shaken

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

I am going to give your the hard truth. Look at your girlfriend.

1) She has no problem having sex with her best friend's boyfriend. What does that say to you? She has no moral compass.

2) ) While she is dating you and saying how much she loves you she is still having sex with this other guy and putting your health at great risk and lying to you about it. She was playing you for an absolute fool.

 

The purpose of dating is to find out what type of person that person really is. She lies to you, cheats on you, has sex with her best friend's boyfriend and puts your health at great risk. You sound like a nice guy with integrity. It is clear that your girlfriend has very little integrity and showed total disrespect for you and her best friend. I would suggest that you tell her best friend the truth. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you wish to know? The bottom line is that you judge a person by their actions and not by their words. She has proven to you that down deep you will never be able to trust her again. She sounds like a very amoral person to me. You need to find someone who has the same moral character as yourself. It is clear she is neither moral or has character. I know this hurts but I think you know down deep the truth. Don't settle for someone like this or you will be paying with a broken heart for the rest of your life. I wish you luck.

[really_shaken]

Bryanp,

 

I appreciate your input and you hit the nail by saying "

I know this hurts but I think you know down deep the truth. Don't settle for someone like this or you will be paying with a broken heart for the rest of your life"

 

But I am very tough minded and I am sure if I want to dump her I will come out even stronger from this experience.

 

thanks for your so quick reply.

[westernxer]

Follow your gut and put that trash in the dumpster.

[really_shaken]

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Just a few more information.I am from diferent religion than my GF,her male_friend , steve,julie and they share same religion and initially I had long frank chat to convince her that its not a big deal , I didn't put any pressur but definately talked great deal on this topic to make her confortable and then settle fo me.

 

I was so serious that I paid her some tution,made her open ROTH ira and put monmey in there, made her joint accont holder in all my accounts because I did propose to her few months ago and was planning to get married in few months.

 

well, money is not an issue with me( I mean i am not rich but I really don't care about all this much, but just wanted to have good financial layer to fall back on in case of trouble).I am currently helping her to get job and she close to it.So, I think i will just wait till she gets it then bring this up, because she is right now so much dependent on me (financially/mentally) that I don't really want to screw her life even after this.I always think that I am mentally too tough to really get anything let me affected and I just make me belive that, so i guess I will be fine, just want to make sure that she is all right wihtout me as much as I can) , I know some poeple might think I am stupid but I think I can't see her not having the job when she is so close to it.But I might have to break even before she gets the job because its difficult for me to hold it.

[westernxer]

Money isn't an issue, but how about dignity?

[really_shaken]

dignity is definately an issue and there is no two way about it

[d'Arthez]

I have skipped reading the chat logs, but let me offer a different perspective.

 

What happened, happened. It seems so trivial, but she can't change the past, she cannot undo any of her actions. You have given her quite some time to admit to the facts, and once even asked. It takes a lot of courage to confess that you have messed up on such a scale, especially as you are well aware of the possible consequences of doing so.

Try to imagine how you would have reacted if she confessed at the time to doing that. It will make you aware of the thoughts that gave rise to her exact behavior. Not to say, that she made the right choice, but even the right choice was a wrong choice.

 

This does not make her past behavior right, especially if you were under the impression that you two were exclusive with each other. If that was not the case, you have little reason to hold it against her, even though she and her friend did not treat her friend well. If you were exclusive, things are a bit more complicated.

 

The past is the past. Only in a limited way does it define who we are, although it plays a substantial part in creating us. It is not solely defining us. And since this happened, almost two years have passed. Two years in which she has changed a lot, in your words. That is of value in itself. If she were the same, you would be waiting for something similar to happen again.

 

Ultimately it is your decision whether you will continue things with her. If you will, it will be hard at first, because you will have trust issues. But she will be aware of that, and will probably change her ways, if needed. Still, there is no guarantee that you, as a couple, will overcome this.

 

And it is not stupidity that you are suffering from. But a good heart.

[really_shaken]

Thanks for your different perspective.But yaah, I was exclusive till the point that I never dated anyone before her as well.I was in my dream world that I will save it for my first love and it will be sweet.Alas, how wrong some one can be.

 

well, still you offered a perspective which came in my mind but its more or less finished unless I see her admitting honestly and see that she is really really sorry for that, then probably there might be small window but thats a long shot.

[Cecelius]

If you search this board you will find many posts with similar stories, and the advice comes in pretty much the same way each time. There are those who can recover from these things, and then there are those who do not.

 

 

Think about it this way: If you were reading your post with a fresh eye, you'd be grossed out. You would have no faith, trust or interest in a girl like that.

 

She simply wouldn't be dating material.

 

There're billions of women on the planet -- why get yourself tied up in knots over one like this?

[Fritz]

For the love of God, get her name off of any of your accounts and don't support her anymore. Run, don't walk away from her. If you care at all about this Julie friend of hers, send that chat log to her.