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Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?

Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 1st March 2018, 1:59 PM   #16
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mistake made
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Old 1st March 2018, 2:14 PM   #17 Moderator Moderator
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Discussion of friends and family not disclosing a partner's known infidelity can continue here. For background on, or discussion of, the thread starter's particular relationship issue, please see this thread...

My girlfriend invited my friend for sleepover??

After a minor cleanup, I'll add also to please discuss your own experiences and reactions, meaning where you personally have experienced a partner cheating, a friend or family member knowing, and not telling you.


Last edited by William; 1st March 2018 at 4:53 PM.. Reason: Meta discussion cleanup
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Old 9th March 2018, 12:28 PM   #18
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I heard from a friend he had been cheating on his GF when he was abroad studying months before she broke it off for unrelated reasons.

I had actually expected her to cheat, I never figured he would be the type to cheat.

I didn't tell the ex-GF (what good would it do? She'd break up with him again?), but I did make the guy promise that if he ever cheated on a girlfriend again he wouldn't tell me until they broke up.

I'm a coward, and don't want to make hard decisions.
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Old 9th March 2018, 10:27 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Theonlyone92 View Post
In my case it was my GF and BFF

How did they justify it?
How did you react when you found out?
Whats your relationship with them now?

In my case my fiance was sleeping with my best friend and I caught them in my bed in my house.

Many other "friends" knew. Some life long and neighbors I grew up with.

How did they justify it?

They didn't...for awhile. I found out about 2 of these "friends" when I was in jail.

How did you react when you found out?

Violently...and very much so.
I would always like to say I am not that person anymore, but I am the same person. I have aged 30 years and have matured enough to be able to control my temper and my violent outbursts(for the most part).

Long story short. I had close to 4 years to think about what a confrontation was going to look like, And it looked pretty much like I thought it would when it did happen.

Whats your relationship with them now?

None. They are nothing to me except a negative experience in the making on sight.

I need to say to you, OP, that mine was an extreme case of reacting poorly. I was the poster boy for doing exactly what no one should ever do during confrontation. Had I been mature enough I'd have walked away, devastated, but hopeful to heal and move forward.

But I wasn't and I didn't. And I do not condone or wax poetic about anything I did. I talk about it on this forum on occasion to serve as a cautionary tale to those who arrive here determined to kick somebody's ass upon Discovery Day. Not you, but posters now and then come here seeking advice on revenge. And it's just not worth it.

I'm still paying for it 30 years later.

Infidelity is a gift that keeps on giving.....
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I promise henceforth, to be nice....until the time that I'm not so nice again. Then I'll be nice again for a brief period of time.
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Old 10th March 2018, 7:14 PM   #20
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Most likely women would say something and men wouldn't which is common. And it all depends on the relationship you have with said person that is being cheated on. I would tell my closest friend, my family member yes for sure. Would they believe me? That would be up to them. If my sister in law knew my husband was cheating would I expect her to tell me? No because it's her brother and I respect that. But I know she would tear a strip off him and make him make a decision.

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
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