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My girlfriend invited my friend for sleepover??


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 24th January 2018, 3:14 PM   #16
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Thinkig about ending this
Thinking?

How bout Doing?

Look, my goal dispensing advice on your thread is to spare you needless drama at the hands of 2 people who deep down, do not care enough for you to be honest with you. For at least a year, if ever.

This is a no brainer. You are better than this, and your GF and this friend of yours do not deserve anything other than crickets.

Think abut this,,,In order to have kept this from you for over a year took a LOT of effort, and a certain degree of callousness.That effort could have been better placed by your girlfriend into what you thought was a fairly good relationship

Instead they've been rolling their eyes and exhaling in relief that you have been kept in the dark. Which means the temptation to repeat the episode was certainly there. And probably acted upon multiple times over the past year.

The last year of your life has been a lie.

The Curb...find the nearest one and kick both of them to it.
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Old 24th January 2018, 3:59 PM   #17
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Whether she cheated or not is by the by. The trust is gone.
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Old 24th January 2018, 4:01 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Space Ritual View Post
Thinking?

How bout Doing?

Look, my goal dispensing advice on your thread is to spare you needless drama at the hands of 2 people who deep down, do not care enough for you to be honest with you. For at least a year, if ever.

This is a no brainer. You are better than this, and your GF and this friend of yours do not deserve anything other than crickets.

Think abut this,,,In order to have kept this from you for over a year took a LOT of effort, and a certain degree of callousness.That effort could have been better placed by your girlfriend into what you thought was a fairly good relationship

Instead they've been rolling their eyes and exhaling in relief that you have been kept in the dark. Which means the temptation to repeat the episode was certainly there. And probably acted upon multiple times over the past year.

The last year of your life has been a lie.

The Curb...find the nearest one and kick both of them to it.
What kind of callousness??
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Old 24th January 2018, 4:14 PM   #19
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What kind of callousness??
perhaps sharing intimate things, such as secrets or genitals with each other unbeknownst to you.

Look...This happened a year ago. To keep that secret in this day and age is no small feat. Guys talk, girls talk. People tell each other things and it goes to all their social media friends.

They conspired to keep important info a secret from you for a year.They had to communicate more than once about it behind your back (example, if one of them wanted to tell you and the other convinced them it what you didn't know didn't hurt you). I mean after all, they interacted with you together this past year didn't they? Maybe they felt bad about keeping the secret, but not bad enough to tell you.
Imagine for a moment you are all out together and at one point you take off to take a leak, they are elbowing each other and smirking at each other while you are in the can.

Another person...a true friend was the one who told you. Do you understand what that means?

Does that begin to cover Callousness a little bit for you?

It's your life...continue in this relationship at your own peril.
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Old 24th January 2018, 4:17 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Space Ritual View Post
perhaps sharing intimate things, such as secrets or genitals with each other unbeknownst to you.

Look...This happened a year ago. To keep that secret in this day and age is no small feat. Guys talk, girls talk. People tell each other things and it goes to all their social media friends.

They conspired to keep important info a secret from you for a year.They had to communicate more than once about it behind your back (example, if one of them wanted to tell you and the other convinced them it what you didn't know didn't hurt you). I mean after all, they interacted with you together this past year didn't they? Maybe they felt bad about keeping the secret, but not bad enough to tell you.
Imagine for a moment you are all out together and at one point you take off to take a leak, they are elbowing each other and smirking at each other while you are in the can.

Another person...a true friend was the one who told you. Do you understand what that means?

Does that begin to cover Callousness a little bit for you?

It's your life...continue in this relationship at your own peril.
Thanks for the info
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Old 24th January 2018, 4:47 PM   #21
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Im just wondering how and if I should confront them and if so how they might react??

She told me they didn't do anything


Thought you already confronted?
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Old 24th January 2018, 5:24 PM   #22
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She told me they didn't do anything


Thought you already confronted?
I meant together sorry.
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Old 24th January 2018, 6:40 PM   #23
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Come on,man....


They had sex. And they're probably still having sex. Something prompted him to come forward. And when he did come forward,he minimized.
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Old 24th January 2018, 8:07 PM   #24
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Come on,man....


They had sex. And they're probably still having sex. Something prompted him to come forward. And when he did come forward,he minimized.
It was a mutual friend that told me
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Old 24th January 2018, 8:21 PM   #25
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It was a mutual friend that told me
Either way....

Grown ups of opposite sex don't have "sleepovers" just to talk and sleep. The entire story that she is giving you is ridiculous
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Old 24th January 2018, 8:38 PM   #26
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Look at it this way.
Whether something physical happened or not is kind of irrelevant at this point.
She lied to you.
He lied to you.
When the trust is gone, a relationship is over.
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Old 24th January 2018, 10:33 PM   #27
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Whether they did something physical or not, is beside the point. They both knew how you would react while they were doing it. Your friend knew how it would look, and your girlfriend knew how it would look, yet they both did it anyway. Then they conspired together to keep the truth of their meet up from you , lying to you for over a year. Both of them looked you in the eye and committed the sin of omission right to your face, with a smile. They destroyed the trust and without trust, what do you have? A lying friend and a FWB you hook up with. Also, what other 'secrets' is she keeping from you? My advice is to not stick around to find out...
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Old 25th January 2018, 6:22 AM   #28
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Talk to the mutual friend who enlightened you. Tell him you want the full story, the unabridged truth.

The deceit is what killed it though. The two of them have been conspiring to keep you in the dark the entire duration of the relationship... while others apparently knew all about it.

I'm sorry. I know it hurts. It will take some time to process, integrate and heal. Be kind to yourself, but do what you have to do to preserve your dignity. That's probably all that's salvageable from this mess at this point.

Those who are using strong language are trying to help too by shocking you out of denial. Figure out who you can rely on for support in real life and be kind to yourself. You deserve better than this. It wasn't your fault. Hold your head high, and no shaming.
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Old 25th January 2018, 7:02 AM   #29
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Yes, how exactly did your mutual friend know about this long before you did? And exactly why did he not clue you in on this a long time ago? Sketchy bunch of people you got in your life.

Maybe it's time for a move and a new start.
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Old 25th January 2018, 9:22 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by salparadise View Post
Talk to the mutual friend who enlightened you. Tell him you want the full story, the unabridged truth.

The deceit is what killed it though. The two of them have been conspiring to keep you in the dark the entire duration of the relationship... while others apparently knew all about it.

I'm sorry. I know it hurts. It will take some time to process, integrate and heal. Be kind to yourself, but do what you have to do to preserve your dignity. That's probably all that's salvageable from this mess at this point.

Those who are using strong language are trying to help too by shocking you out of denial. Figure out who you can rely on for support in real life and be kind to yourself. You deserve better than this. It wasn't your fault. Hold your head high, and no shaming.
Quote:
Originally Posted by doyathinkso View Post
Yes, how exactly did your mutual friend know about this long before you did? And exactly why did he not clue you in on this a long time ago? Sketchy bunch of people you got in your life.

Maybe it's time for a move and a new start.
Yes it time for you to sit down and talk with this mutual
friend to get the truth.
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