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Uncomfortable situation between two friends


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 18th January 2018, 9:07 PM   #16
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Justin should have bitten the bullet and asked you out if he was interested. He missed his chance and if he can't be happy for you...then tough.
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Old 19th January 2018, 12:40 AM   #17
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You both are right. He is definitely still upset as heís making passive aggressive posts on social media which I feel is a bit immature. Not once has he ever expressed these feelings to me nor to Alex. Granted I had a hunch, but I donít think he has the right to behave this way. I can understand why heís upset, as I would be too in his position, but the passive aggressiveness and immature behavior is what turns me off. Leaving the ball in his court for this one.
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Old 19th January 2018, 2:11 PM   #18
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I think you should tell him that......maybe he will realize the person he should be resentful of is himself and he only has himself to blame.
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Old 19th January 2018, 5:48 PM   #19
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You both are right. He is definitely still upset as heís making passive aggressive posts on social media which I feel is a bit immature. Not once has he ever expressed these feelings to me nor to Alex. Granted I had a hunch, but I donít think he has the right to behave this way. I can understand why heís upset, as I would be too in his position, but the passive aggressiveness and immature behavior is what turns me off. Leaving the ball in his court for this one.
You knew how he felt about you in "that way".
Being you did not feel that way about him (and all
women should do this when in the same position)
you should of not allowed him to be your friend.

Because one day sooner or later the orbiter will lose their
altitude and crash and burn upon re-entry into reality.
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Old 19th January 2018, 6:44 PM   #20
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Iíve thought about it but for the time being Iím letting him cool off. I do understand why heís upset but at the same time I think how he handles things like this is immature. Thatís how I caught on to him potentially having feelings for me...he would always get jealous and get passive aggressive rather than actually having a conversation with me about it. Which honestly kind of shows heís not in this for the friendship.
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Old 19th January 2018, 11:43 PM   #21
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It sounds like it’s more of a obsession for you than love.
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Old 20th January 2018, 12:57 AM   #22
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I have always had more guy friends than female friends. Inevitably, when they get girlfriends, 95+% of the time the guys are gone. Now that I've got a boyfriend, a new wave of my male friends has disappeared.

Just realize that Justin is, in fact, an orbiter. Do you really want a friend who would try to sabotage anything else developing with you and another guy? Passive aggressive behavior is one of my pet peeves, so I would be fine giving him the boot. Long-term, it's the kind thing to do.
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Old 20th January 2018, 1:43 AM   #23
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Yeah, it could be more of an obsession for him towards me. Mainly because he can be really possessive sometimes which is annoying. I wouldn’t even date a guy who acted possessive of me.

And yes, I’ve had the same experiences with many of my guy friends. I’d say there’s probably two of them they are solid friends regardless of either of our relationship statuses. The rest come and go a lot. And you’re definitely right. I’m not sure if he would blatantly try to sabotage things, but in a way I feel this tantrum he’s throwing is sabotaging in a way, because, though maybe not totally intentional, it’s meant to make myself and Alex feel guilty about hanging out. I know it’s easier said than done, wishing someone to ignore their feelings and be my friend. And it’s a little selfish of me to wish that because I’ve been in his position before and it sucks, but I also feel like if he can’t eventually become okay with this then maybe he’s not really a friend and needs to get the boot.

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Old 20th January 2018, 11:38 AM   #24
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OK then, just tell him what you had posted...that would be the mature thing to do. I think the both of you will feel better and things will settle down.
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Old 20th January 2018, 1:24 PM   #25
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Yeah. Part of me feels like the ball should be left in his court, but thereís also clearly an elephant in the room. So it probably is worth just telling him that and then letting him do whatever he chooses to do from there.
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Old 21st January 2018, 11:01 PM   #26
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Which honestly kind of shows heís not in this for the friendship.
Stick with this. You got it. Nothing to guess about. If he was actually your friend he would be happy you found someone to go out with. He's just serving his time, thinking he will get a chance for a romantic relationship with you. He's pissed because he feels like he wasted his time and effort to get with you.If you do as you said and leave the ball in his court, honestly even if he still wants to be friends, he still thinks he's in line, and will still think you owe him.
Best is to tell him there is ZERO chance of a romantic relationship with you and let him sort it out from there.
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Old 22nd January 2018, 1:57 PM   #27
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Stick with this. You got it. Nothing to guess about. If he was actually your friend he would be happy you found someone to go out with. He's just serving his time, thinking he will get a chance for a romantic relationship with you. He's pissed because he feels like he wasted his time and effort to get with you.If you do as you said and leave the ball in his court, honestly even if he still wants to be friends, he still thinks he's in line, and will still think you owe him.
Best is to tell him there is ZERO chance of a romantic relationship with you and let him sort it out from there.
Youíre absolutely right. Weíve talked a little bit here and there but thereís definitely an elephant in the room so to speak, and I think he might still honk he has a chance. And Iíve noticed Alex has backed off a little since his talk with Justin. So I definitely need to let Justin know where I stand. Thanks.
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Old 23rd January 2018, 1:57 AM   #28
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Youíre absolutely right. Weíve talked a little bit here and there but thereís definitely an elephant in the room so to speak, and I think he might still honk he has a chance. And Iíve noticed Alex has backed off a little since his talk with Justin. So I definitely need to let Justin know where I stand. Thanks.
Be careful when you do this.
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