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Do you think this behavior is right?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 3rd January 2018, 4:24 PM   #1
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Do you think this behavior is right?

Hello everyone, I'm new here.

I'm here to vent something who is really bugging me.
I have a 7 month relationship and everything was fine until last Monday.

My girlfriend is been texting (Facebook chat) with this guy for the last 2 months. They text sometimes, not every single day.
I'm complety cool with that, I'm not a jealous person at all but after new year, I woke up and my girlfriend sent to me a messages saying....

"send nudes"
(she knows I don't like that and for far as I know she doesn't ether, she know I'm more like, if u want something that will be in person not over a chat) so the conversation between my gf and I was like this...

Me: Send nudes?
Gf: Yeah
Me: What are u been doing all night?
Gf: I get bored and I sent u that messege lol
Me: yeah right

So after that short conversation i spend all day thinking and got to the conclusion of... She make a mistake sending me the txt, maybe was for somebody else.

That same night I check her Facebook chat and found a conversation with this guy about the "send nudes" messege. I knew was something weird going on.

I read the entire conversation.

He add my gf on Facebook.
At the beginning they talk about random things, then this guy started talking about dicks, after that he started talking about he's dick and asking my gf if she masturbate, what are her sizes, what she like to do, etc, etc.
Then this guy started asking about me. What are my penis sizes, how long I last during sex, what I do to her doring sex, etc, etc.

They stop texting for like 3 weeks and at new years morning he sent a message to my GF and this guy started asking if she had sex with me on new years and then he ask for naked pictures of my gf.
And here is the big problem I have, actually broke the trust I used to have on my gf, she replied...

"I can't, my BF is next to me'

So this guy told her...

" go to the bathroom and take pictures of your boobs and Dat ass"

She keep saying... "I can't"

So this guy started asking question about my penis again!!!! And she was answering all the questions!!! Until she replied...

"You want me to sent you a pictures of his dick!?"

He replied...

"OK but u will send me a picture of u naked too, deal?

Her answer was... OK, but if I don't get a pictures of he's dick I will not send u a naked picture of me.

And here is the rest of the conversation. (I took screen shots)


Him: But if you show his penis show your Boobs or something else. Even out the view. Who are they then

Gf: Well first of all I have to convince him to get his dick out which means fooling around then if I quickly snap a photo he's going to freak so I'll see what I can do lmao

Him: Lol you'll have to show your Boobs

Gf: My boobs are small. I have an ass hips and thick thighs that make up for it. Idk if you've seen my modeling photos. Not much boobage

Him: Nope and it doesn't matter you could showe both

Gf: Well that's only if I get the dick pic

Him: He can send one if you asked yo see it then show him the nudes too

Gf: I'll send him a Facebook message now. I think he's awake lmao

Him: Its your Boobs and your ass. We don't have to call it nude just two bare pics

Gf: Hellthrash woke up "Send nudes??? 🤔 yea right. Why would you even say that?" I told him I was bored and I wanted some photos. So plan B. Snap a photo.

Him: lol

Gf: We'll see. I think he's dick shy. When he heard of dudes measuring their dicks he was like in shock and was like wtf why would anybody do that? So now I always jokingly whip out my tape measure and ask him when he's bored if he wants to measure himself and he's like noooo!!!!!

Him: Lol take the pictures of yourself

Gf: Man I'm comfy I'm not moving right now

So that the situation I'm dealing in silence, Idk if this if cheating or what but I know this is one step to become cheating.
They never met in person.

I'm very disappointed of her.

Thanks you for reading, if u have advice or comments I will bee more that happy to read your thoughts.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 4:43 PM   #2
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You do realize that when the guy told your girlfriend to send pics of 'dat ass', the way he said it meant he already saw it, right? Now she is going to send him a dic (yours- gross) pic along with her boobs.... It is already too late to salvage this relationship. If you confront her (never reveal your sources), she will do what girls always do: cry a lot and promise that nothing ever happened...then they will take things underground. My advice is to dump the gf post haste, and pray she hasn't given you a STD to remember her by. Find someone who has a moral compass aligned more closely with your own... this one obviously thinks compasses are used only for hiking.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 5:29 PM   #3
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Not it's not right


A G or even PG rated conversation about neutral subjects between members of the opposite sex is just fine. "Send nudes" when in a relationship -- especially when she's allegedly lying next to you -- is either a slippery slope to actual cheating or more likely proof that cheating has already happened.


Get a more faithful GF who knows where to draw proper boundaries.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 5:48 PM   #4
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So sorry, OP. She has completely betrayed your trust and has shown herself to be totally disloyal and cruel. What she has done and was trying to do is absolutely unforgivable.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 7:41 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellthrash View Post
Idk if this if cheating
This is cheating. I'd walk, dude. She has no integrity.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 8:35 PM   #6
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She has totally crossed the line. Like a dude asking me to send nudes when I am in a relationship is almost a dealbreaker for me to talk to him even as a friend again. There needs to be a line of respect drawn somewhere. She would not at all be okay if the tables were turned. I'd walk if I was you.. She is too eager for immature attention. If you don't mind me asking, how old is she?
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Old 3rd January 2018, 8:48 PM   #7
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She is on disability she suffer of fibromyalgia and borderline personality desorder so shes on the house all the time and doesn't have a car. I read the entire conversation and he keep asking when they are going to met, the guy ask her Idk how many times if he can come over, so I'm assuming they never met and at the beginning of the conversation when this guy started talking about sexual thinks, he ask if she has a snapchat, she has one but she told him she hardly use it so she never give him the snapchat and the only way they talk is over Facebook messenger. He add her on Facebook so they never met or talk before. He add her because he saw the modeling photos of Lingerie she has.
I took those photos and in a couple u can see her butt and I know a lot of perverts add her on Facebook for the same reason, she is been telling me about random guys adding her on Facebook and talk to her very Disrespectful ways but with this guy she didn't say a word to me.

I'm not looking for excuses, I know this is not right. I need to find the right time to end this relationship. Are u ever met a person with borderline personality desorder? I been learning about and they can turn crazy to the point to kill them self so I'm very scare she will do something and blame me about it.

Thank u for the support and words I'm very appreciative.



Quote:
If you don't mind me asking, how old is she?
She's 23 and I'm 34


Quote:
She is too eager for immature attention.
She's a very very lonely person, in this 3 month I only met 2 friends and they stop by to get random stuffs. On this last 7 month is been just her and me on her house, the family don't give a damn, the mother only stop when she need something. So I'm the only person she has right now and I don't understand why she treats me like this.

Thanks you and everyone for the support.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 9:07 PM   #8
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Maybe you two need to figure out your wants and needs in a relationship. Together you might be able to figure out if this is worth either of your time. I believe time is the most valuable thing in life, people put a price on their time and you never know how long your time is.
I would not date someone and allow this behavior. Her mental illness is something many people suffer from today and there are so many different options out there. You are not her parent, you can more than willingly support her in getting counseling then getting out. Don't stay in something because you are scared of the "what ifs" this your life. You need to be happy.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 9:22 PM   #9
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Honestly, what she is doing is beyond lying and cheating, it's criminal.

Not only would I dump her, I would threaten to contact the police so she knows how serious it is to take naked photos of someone without their consent.

The guy clearly didn't even want nudes of you, just her, so it was clearly for her own sick pleasure.

She sounds absolutely vile.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 9:40 PM   #10
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what she has done is beyond wrong ......you need to talk to her ....i don't know if you should stay or go ....i would be more inclined to say leave her...but i do feel a conversation is warranted at least to give her the experience of what isnt right to do in a relationship when you supposedly love someone and as possible closure for you.....


when people in a relationship do something right they ought to know how it makes the other person feel and cherish whats right....the same goes with wrong....the other person needs to know how that particular situation made you feel and what the consequences are...loving someone has consequences attached.good or bad..and one of those consequences unfortunately is often breaking up over what is wrong and not able to be fixed..................deb.....
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Old 4th January 2018, 9:12 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellthrash View Post
Hello everyone, I'm new here.

I'm here to vent something who is really bugging me.
I have a 7 month relationship and everything was fine until last Monday.

My girlfriend is been texting (Facebook chat) with this guy for the last 2 months. They text sometimes, not every single day.
I'm complety cool with that, I'm not a jealous person at all but after new year, I woke up and my girlfriend sent to me a messages saying....

"send nudes"
(she knows I don't like that and for far as I know she doesn't ether, she know I'm more like, if u want something that will be in person not over a chat) so the conversation between my gf and I was like this...

Me: Send nudes?
Gf: Yeah
Me: What are u been doing all night?
Gf: I get bored and I sent u that messege lol
Me: yeah right

So after that short conversation i spend all day thinking and got to the conclusion of... She make a mistake sending me the txt, maybe was for somebody else.

That same night I check her Facebook chat and found a conversation with this guy about the "send nudes" messege. I knew was something weird going on.

I read the entire conversation.

He add my gf on Facebook.
At the beginning they talk about random things, then this guy started talking about dicks, after that he started talking about he's dick and asking my gf if she masturbate, what are her sizes, what she like to do, etc, etc.
Then this guy started asking about me. What are my penis sizes, how long I last during sex, what I do to her doring sex, etc, etc.

They stop texting for like 3 weeks and at new years morning he sent a message to my GF and this guy started asking if she had sex with me on new years and then he ask for naked pictures of my gf.
And here is the big problem I have, actually broke the trust I used to have on my gf, she replied...

"I can't, my BF is next to me'

So this guy told her...

" go to the bathroom and take pictures of your boobs and Dat ass"

She keep saying... "I can't"

So this guy started asking question about my penis again!!!! And she was answering all the questions!!! Until she replied...

"You want me to sent you a pictures of his dick!?"

He replied...

"OK but u will send me a picture of u naked too, deal?

Her answer was... OK, but if I don't get a pictures of he's dick I will not send u a naked picture of me.

And here is the rest of the conversation. (I took screen shots)


Him: But if you show his penis show your Boobs or something else. Even out the view. Who are they then

Gf: Well first of all I have to convince him to get his dick out which means fooling around then if I quickly snap a photo he's going to freak so I'll see what I can do lmao

Him: Lol you'll have to show your Boobs

Gf: My boobs are small. I have an ass hips and thick thighs that make up for it. Idk if you've seen my modeling photos. Not much boobage

Him: Nope and it doesn't matter you could showe both

Gf: Well that's only if I get the dick pic

Him: He can send one if you asked yo see it then show him the nudes too

Gf: I'll send him a Facebook message now. I think he's awake lmao

Him: Its your Boobs and your ass. We don't have to call it nude just two bare pics

Gf: Hellthrash woke up "Send nudes??? 🤔 yea right. Why would you even say that?" I told him I was bored and I wanted some photos. So plan B. Snap a photo.

Him: lol

Gf: We'll see. I think he's dick shy. When he heard of dudes measuring their dicks he was like in shock and was like wtf why would anybody do that? So now I always jokingly whip out my tape measure and ask him when he's bored if he wants to measure himself and he's like noooo!!!!!

Him: Lol take the pictures of yourself

Gf: Man I'm comfy I'm not moving right now

So that the situation I'm dealing in silence, Idk if this if cheating or what but I know this is one step to become cheating.
They never met in person.

I'm very disappointed of her.

Thanks you for reading, if u have advice or comments I will bee more that happy to read your thoughts.
Yes it is cheating in a way. She would never do this in front of you.

It goes far to show you her true character. You have to decide if this is someone you want to be with.
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Old 4th January 2018, 9:46 AM   #12
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Yeah, it's wrong. But honestly, it seems like she just likes the attention and I'm not sure she is really interested in actually sending him stuff.

Here is what you do, confront her ASAP, tell her that you're not interested in any relationship where she is having these types of conversations. If she is serious about you it will stop, if not move on.
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Old 4th January 2018, 10:33 AM   #13
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Thanks everyone for your comments.

This relation has a timer, a very short timer, I know that.

I don't understand her behavior, normally when she go to the bathroom or do something else she leave her phone open next to me, she gave me the code of her phone time ago and she never change it, she always telling me about creeps texting her.

One time we got drunk and she gave me her Facebook password and yesterday I found that peace of paper where I wrote it, I don't think she remember doing that but the pass still the same. I never log on her Facebook before, I really trusted her 100% until that messege she sent me "send nudes"

I knew I had that password writed somewhere but I thought the paper was gone so that why I check her phone that night.

So I been reading each single conversation and everything look normal except with this guy. There is a couple more creeps but she cut them off.

We both used to be members of a photo group, actually thanks to this group I met her (Im one of the photographers and she is one of the models) until the organizer of the group started hitting on my gf over Facebook messenger. She showed me the messege right away telling me... "is he joking?"

The messege was...

"I will love to se that dress on my bethroom floor"

They were talking about a dress she has for a photoshoot.

I used to help him a lot organizing meetups looking for places to shoot, etc.
So I was like asking the same question... "is he joking?"

So I told her... Ask him what he means (we both knew what he was trying to do here but I didn't believe it)

So he's answer was...

"me taking that dress out of you, putting on my bethroom floor and taking u to my bed, got it?

She stop him in the act, he never talk to us again.

So I really don't understand why she is doing this. Maybe she is a professional lier or knows how to manipulate people very good.

Time ago she got a dick pic from a random dude, she told me about it (I was at my work at that time) and she call the police about it so thinks like that made me trust on her 100% I thought she was a very transparent person, I guess I was wrong.
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Old 4th January 2018, 10:56 AM   #14
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[QUOTE=Hellthrash;7502751]Thanks everyone for your comments.

This relation has a timer, a very short timer, I know that.

I don't understand her behavior, normally when she go to the bathroom or do something else she leave her phone open next to me, she gave me the code of her phone time ago and she never change it, she always telling me about creeps texting her.

One time we got drunk and she gave me her Facebook password and yesterday I found that peace of paper where I wrote it, I don't think she remember doing that but the pass still the same. I never log on her Facebook before, I really trusted her 100% until that messege she sent me "send nudes"

I knew I had that password writed somewhere but I thought the paper was gone so that why I check her phone that night.

So I been reading each single conversation and everything look normal except with this guy. There is a couple more creeps but she cut them off.

We both used to be members of a photo group, actually thanks to this group I met her (Im one of the photographers and she is one of the models) until the organizer of the group started hitting on my gf over Facebook messenger. She showed me the messege right away telling me... "is he joking?"

The messege was...

"I will love to se that dress on my bethroom floor"

They were talking about a dress she has for a photoshoot.

I used to help him a lot organizing meetups looking for places to shoot, etc.
So I was like asking the same question... "is he joking?"

So I told her... Ask him what he means (we both knew what he was trying to do here but I didn't believe it)

So he's answer was...

"me taking that dress out of you, putting on my bethroom floor and taking u to my bed, got it?

She stop him in the act, he never talk to us again.

So I really don't understand why she is doing this. Maybe she is a professional lier or knows how to manipulate people very good.

Time ago she got a dick pic from a random dude, she told me about it (I was at my work at that time) and she call the police about it so thinks like that made me trust on her 100% I thought she was a very transparent person, I guess I was wrong.[/QUOTE]



Okay, what I see here is that she is selective as to who she will betray you for....nothing more or less, she is willing to betray you but only with someone of her chosing.....
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Old 4th January 2018, 11:23 AM   #15
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Quote:
Okay, what I see here is that she is selective as to who she will betray you for....nothing more or less, she is willing to betray you but only with someone of her chosing.....
You maybe right on that. But over one picture he has on Facebook? I check this guy Facebook and he only has ONE photo of him and for far as I know this guy is not even close to the type of guy she like or use to date. I met an ex of her and I saw a couple photos of other ex's and this guy is complete the opposite.

And this guy is 21 years old and she told me one time she like to date olders because the one who has the same age are to immature
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