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Should I tell her husband?


Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy Being unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.

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Old 28th December 2017, 12:20 PM   #16
S2B
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Originally Posted by loverboy199 View Post
Thank you all for your replies. I all get your point. Part of me wants to tell him but I know this would all be a mess if I did. I never imagined ruining a marriage. I won’t just ruin both of them but their families as well.

As for the proof, we have sweet and intimate pictures together few days/weeks/months before her wedding, pictures of our recent holiday trips. And some pics with my family too (that’s how close she was with my family). I also have proof of our text messages. Some are sweet and some are “naughty” texts (you know what I mean). I really don’t think that the guy knows something about our relationship. If he knew, he wouldn’t marry my girlfriend for sure.

And yes, it feels uncomfortable for me telling the guy. I don’t even know how to begin with. I agree that it doesn’t seem masculine. But I’m really having a difficult time now.

My ego was badly hurt. It really is hard for a man like us to be betrayed by someone we really love. 8 years is no joke. I was already planning on proposing to her soon because she keeps giving me hints - asking me about my plans for her / for both of us. I just can’t believe she was telling me all this when the wedding was already planned. How stupid is that?

Also, part of me wants to just keep quiet and DGAF at all. I have been no contact with her since the wedding. This is really hard for me because it all happened in a snap. I didn’t even see that we were in a rough situation and didn’t forsee a break up coming.
You didn't ruin things. She is responsible for that.

Deceit will do that every time.
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Old 28th December 2017, 7:38 PM   #17
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Why did you keep forgiving her cheating on you?

I must say planning the wedding while seeing you was awful ...but you wete together for 8 years...no marriage for you two...she cheated... you knew her character.

Having said all that...is want to know if I was him. Give me the chance to find someone who truly loves me .. not someone cheating 3 days before marrying me.
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Old 29th December 2017, 12:19 AM   #18
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If I were you, I would jam to this song to help drown out your sorrows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14K6KtBlusY
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Old 29th December 2017, 2:15 PM   #19
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If I were you, I would jam to this song to help drown out your sorrows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14K6KtBlusY
You should learn to play an instrument as it's obvious no one associated with that garbage has any understanding of music at all.
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Old 30th December 2017, 7:22 AM   #20
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There is no point in telling him. He is not your friend and neither is she—they're on their own path now, and it's a path you need to part of. The only thing that comes from telling him is a load of drama that serves nothing and no one, least of all you. It will not make you feel better for more than two seconds, after which it will only extend the pain you're in.

As others have said: therapy, therapy, therapy.

You've already noted that your ego is severely crippled. Well, our egos are generally our enemy. When we react to ego the results are never positive. And when our egos get bruised, for all the pain, that's where the lessons are. It's a hard, needed jolt that, if explored, can lead you to a better place.

The path is right there for you—take it. The moment you do is the moment you'll start feeling a lot better.
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:14 AM   #21
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There is no point in telling him. He is not your friend and neither is she—they're on their own path now, and it's a path you need to part of. The only thing that comes from telling him is a load of drama that serves nothing and no one, least of all you. It will not make you feel better for more than two seconds, after which it will only extend the pain you're in.

As others have said: therapy, therapy, therapy.

You've already noted that your ego is severely crippled. Well, our egos are generally our enemy. When we react to ego the results are never positive. And when our egos get bruised, for all the pain, that's where the lessons are. It's a hard, needed jolt that, if explored, can lead you to a better place.

The path is right there for you—take it. The moment you do is the moment you'll start feeling a lot better.

There is no justification for this poor BH not being given the
whole truth. This WW has shown her true colors. This BH will
be cheated on again, maybe a STD or two and not to mention
a good shot at being given the gift of an OC as well.
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